Veronica Mars "I Am God"

"Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of satan."

Yeah, but damn if he doesn't get all the funniest lines.

Hey, a bus crashed! Did you guys know about that? (And how come that joke doesn't get old?)

Show Killer is back! Why? I have no idea. Guess Veronica needed someone to spill her guts to about her crazy dreams with murder victims talking to her. But it seems like anyone could have filled that role. Especially if they're not bringing Show Killer back so that poor Keith can have a girlfriend.

Aw, Wallace likes Logan! Who could blame him really? Gotta love that kid for trying to knock Veronica's valedictorian rival out of the running. But why did they show us Wallace watching "Tinseltown Diaries" in Logan's hotel room? For a minute I thought Wallace was going to turn the TV off and apologize to Logan, to juxtapose Wallace and Dick to show which would be a better friend for Logan. But then that didn't happen, so I'm confused. So was it just so that Wallace would start sympathizing with Logan and lobbying Veronica on his behalf? My head hurts.

And wow, is Big Dick gonna be a player in the big mystery now? I think I'm still on the "Woodman did it" bandwagon. I just don't know why he might have done it.

Next week... oh, who cares? There's only four episodes left! Holy God, they're gonna drag the story out four more episodes! Then they'll give us a freakin' heart attack in the last 20 minutes of the season. I have money riding on it.

something new

This is the tattoo I just got!

It's of a flaming chalice, and yes, it hurt.

Me? Insufferable? Never.

Elizabeth at Austinist has named her Favorite Random Blog of the Week as... mine! In your face other random bloggers of Austin!

You may continue to go about your day.

Please don't sue us.

The following conversation transpired after viewing this photo of Katie Holmes:


Jennifer says: ok, it looks fake again

Kandis says: basketball or alien? it's tough to tell

Kandis says: no way is she gonna be silent when that thing crawls out of her skinny body

Jennifer says: not only that, but it's really high

Jennifer says: why would they fake her being pregnant and then adopt a kid?

Kandis says: to prove he's hetero?

Kandis says: the man is obviously a little crazy, so I'm not sure

Jennifer says: and then I guess she didn't want to ruin her figure with a real baby

Jennifer says: so she has to wear the basketball

Kandis says: although the shots of her in the crotch snapping bodysuit made it seem like that's a real pregnancy. But she looks twice as round this week as she did last week

Kandis says: it's not that she didn't want to ruin her figure with a real baby, my guess is that he wouldn't actually sleep with a WOMAN

Jennifer says: well, but she could have gotten artificially inseminated with his freak seed

Kandis says: true, if that was in her contract

Kandis says: it all makes my head hurt

Jennifer says: it's pretty funny

Jennifer says: I don't get the argument that she already had it, when why would she have had one at all?

Kandis says: yeah, the argument that she already had it doesn't really make any sense. But maybe they're that paranoid?

Jennifer says: my god, it's not anywhere near where the uterus would be

Jennifer says: maybe she was just being rebellious that day?

Jennifer says: "ha! i'm going to make it look RIDICULOUS today, and Tom can't stop me!"

Jennifer says: next time, she's going to strap it on above her butt

Shocking. Simply shocking.

Bush Authorized Leak to Times, Libby Told Grand Jury

And...

Bush: Hands Possibly as Dirty as Scooter Libby's

Veronica Mars "Plan B"

"This face right here? My over-the-moon face."

This was a great episode. It's been a while, but I think I remember what one looks like when I see it. Fun interactions (Weevil instructing Veronica on the shocker... hee! Logan and everyone), plenty of drama (Thumper... damn), and even a little action. Although watching a building explode on a TV inside a TV? Not so much with the excitment.

I cannot believe after I professed my love for Beaver just a couple of weeks ago that he went and broke Mac's heart. If he wasn't so obviously gay and desperate to hide it, I might never forgive him.

Ah, LoVe. Is it okay, since it's just us friends, that I admit that I squealed like a little girl? Logan And Veronica snarking, high fiving, and dancing! Have you ever seen two people slow dance so intensely? It's better than a Harlequin y'all.

And I even liked Jackie! Tessa Thompson has come a long way. She was charming and complicated. And I actually like the friendship between her and Veronica. Though I gotta say, Mac is still my pick for Veronica's second BFF.

And was it just me, or was the Woodman coming on to Logan? Not that Logan isn't used to that kind of thing. Although he and Weevil do seem to be on the outs.

But next week? Yay Alona Tal, don't get me wrong. But does Veronica have to see dead people?

assistance please?

Today I saw a guy wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with rolled up sleeves. Why? No, seriously. Why?

Veronica Mars "The Rapes of Graff"

Have I mentioned "Veronica Mars"? It's that awesome show on UPN that you're still not watching. And I know you have the time. "Scrubs" is on Tuesdays, "The Office" is on Thursdays, and "Deadwood" is on hiatus. What else could you possibly be doing with your time?

Hannah got shipped to Vermont! You can’t see me doing my happy dance, but trust me, it’s sassy.

Cliff and the gynecologist… hee! Lamb and Madison… wow, disgusting. "She's 18 -- It's Legal". Vote for Lamb!

I have to say that I'm really disappointed that we missed out on the conversation between Logan and Veronica that occurred in between episodes. So he told her how he'd been using Hannah and what he had agreed to do for her father? Of course she guessed all that, but I would have liked to have seen the interaction.

Love Wallace’s excitement for college. Hate that Logan was developing feelings for Hannah. Of course we know he’s sweet and vulnerable on the inside, but are we really supposed to believe that after dearly departed Lilly, Veronica and Charisma, that he’d be content with a child who has no personality and bad hair?

Besides Logan’s file getting stolen from Cliff’s briefcase (totally Aaron's doing!), and the demolition of the stadium, we didn’t really get anywhere on the whole bus crash. I’m starting to get the feeling that the bus crash storyline, unlike Lilly Kane’s murder, doesn’t have enough going for it to sustain it through an entire season.

Next week’s preview made me squeal like a 12-year-old: Veronica and Logan spending time together! Mac and Weevil are back! Steve Guttenberg is the mayor! (Yeah, we already knew that, but it’s been so long, I thought we needed the reminder.)

As far as fests go, it could use more funny hats.

We saw this guy at the rodeo last night. He is the Overall Reserve Grand Champion steer. (We thought he was better looking than the Grand Champion. You know it's all just politics.).

We ate what felt like a ton of junk food (Rob had a turkey leg, I had a really big corny dog, and we shared funnel cake), and we drank $5.50 tall boys.

We saw a travelling sideshow, one spectacular mullet, and a very pretty boy in a mini skirt, dangle earrings, and ruby slippers.

We came home covered in powdered sugar and smelling like smoked meat. And nobody threw up. Success!

Veronica Mars "The Quick and the Wed"

"Fine, I'm a barista!"

"Veronica Mars" last night.... Ack! Three minutes of previouslies that I think managed to show everything from the last season and a half.

So we got some advancement on the season arc, we got Wallace back, and Cliff!, we got dueling evils Aaron and Charisma (yay!). But what the hell was she doing in Duncan's bathroom?

And what is Beaver- I mean Cassidy- up to? I can't figure out if he's trying to buy up half of Neptune in preparation for the incorporation, or if he's trying set Kendall up? But Ryan Gallner has grown on me so much. Love him, don't care what evil he's up to. (It's gotta be evil right? It is Neptune after all.)

And speaking of evil (again)... Logan, Logan, Logan. "I think I've done something horrible." Shocker. (And I don't mean that kind.)

Oh, and two well behaved children.

Today is my mother’s 50th birthday. She likes to say that the first day of Spring falls on her birthday. To celebrate the milestone of her 50th birthday, she wants to get a tattoo. Though she hasn’t settled on just which of her hobbies to immortalize in ink.

My mother can knit you a sweater (or a scarf or gloves), and sew you a Halloween costume (or curtains), and remodel a room of your house (or install your garbage disposal), saw down your tree (or plant your garden), design you a website (disability accessible of course), make you the very best lasagna (or whoopie pies!), and volunteer for your political campaign (or your impromptu soup kitchen), and identify endless species of birds (snakes, bats and various other animals, fossils and bugs). And she can force you to go to summer camp (or church youth group) against your will, knowing that one day you’ll learn to love it.

But as she says of my sister and I (who are 23 years apart), she can only raise one kid at a time.

Happy Birthday Mother! We love you.














Edited to add: Birthday tattoo is done!

I got a new camera phone! These are a couple of the very exciting photos I've taken so far: Everyone will recognize the infamous fat Moe, and then the other is a blurry shot of my desk at work, complete with Buffy acton figure.

And Beaver too?

HBO's "Big Love" now features three "Veronica Mars" cast members! They sure know the way to a girl's heart.

Hey Tom Cruise? Why do you hate freedom?

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

New Dixie Chicks album, "Taking the Long Way" comes out May 23rd!

Big Love

We watched the premiere of "Big Love" last night. It comes across as a lot tamer than you would expect from a show about a dude with three wives. It was a relief that the story doesn't take place in one of those creepy Mormon communities where old men get to marry 12-year-olds. I think it takes place in that other creepy Mormon community, Salt Lake City. (Think marginally less polygamy.)

Bill Paxton plays polygamist and home improvement store owner Bill Henrickson. Jeanne Tripplehorn plays his first wife Barb. I'm usually very "meh" about Jeanne Tripplehorn, but I'm looking forward to seeing how they explore her character. The always skanky Chloe Sevigny plays compulsive shopper and second wife Nicki. And the currently awesome (because she was in Walk the Line) Ginnifer Goodwin plays overwhelmed third wife Margene.

However, I have to tell you, the best part of the show: Lilly and Mac from "Veronica Mars"! How excited am I?

Natalie Portman will fuck you up.

Lingering Oscar Questions

Slate writer Troy Patterson said of the Oscars: "I will pay a sum in the mid-three figures to anyone who can provide me with a full and accurate transcript of Nicholson's conversation with seat-neighbor Keira Knightley."

Word.

And I must know how Busy Philipps came to be sitting in the front row next to nominees Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger. I know Busy and Michelle know eachother from their "Dawson's Creek" days, but the most work Busy has gotten lately is on a UPN sitcom. So how did she end up front and center at the Oscars??

I flubbed the best original screenplay and cinematography categories. Otherwise, I kinda rock.

My Oscar Picks at 2:22pm on March 5th

Performance by an actor in a leading role:
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Capote"

Performance by an actor in a supporting role:
George Clooney in "Syriana"

Performance by an actress in a leading role:
Reese Witherspoon in "Walk the Line"

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:
Rachel Weisz in "The Constant Gardener"

Best animated feature film of the year:
"Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit"

Achievement in cinematography:
"Brokeback Mountain"

Achievement in directing:
"Brokeback Mountain" Ang Lee

Best documentary feature:
"March of the Penguins"

Adapted screenplay:
"Brokeback Mountain" Screenplay by Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana

Original screenplay:
"Good Night, and Good Luck." Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov

Best motion picture of the year:
"Crash"

I [heart] The Office

Jim Halpert: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam Beesley: No, I have a life.
Jim Halpert: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam Beesley: You should try it some time.
Jim Halpert: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?

Someone found this site by searching for "family guy meg her underwear". Sicko. She's a cartoon! Have some pride.

the Stapp

Scott Stapp telling AP Radio that he thinks it's suspicious that a tape showing him and Kid Rock having sex with strippers surfaced just days after he tied the knot. "Obviously someone wants to hurt me and doesn't want me to be successful in my solo career," he said.

A day after his wedding, Stapp was arrested for investigation of being drunk at Los Angeles International Airport. He is set for arraignment on March 8.

"You don't want to say it's laughable, but it's just like, my God, there's so much stuff," he said. "Somebody does not like you and somebody wants you to fail."
Apparently it's completely improbable that Stapp is to blame for any of his own behavior.

Sometimes when I haven't blogged for a while, it's because the thing that's uppermost in my mind, isn't something I really want to write about.

My oldest friend lost her mom to cancer last week. It wasn't sudden, but it is heartbreaking just the same. If you're able to, consider donating to Hospice Austin.

To Laser My Eye Open Or To Not

Today I went for a Lasik consultation, and I'm most likely a candidate for the surgery (I have to stay out of my toric contacts for at least three weeks before going in for a final exam to make sure I can have the surgery). And now I have to decide if I actually want to go through with it.

Sure there's the end result of not needing to wear glasses or contacts anymore. But living in my glasses instead of contacts for weeks is extremely bothersome. And after the surgery, I wouldn't be allowed to wear eye makeup for at least two weeks (the horror!). Then there are also the possible risks: developing a post-op infection that would leave me blind, having my vision over-corrected so that I go from being near-sighted to far-sighted, possibly needing more than one procedure to correct my vision, or having my night vision or dry eye condition worsened- for life. There are probably other possible issues that I haven't even worried about yet. Oh, and it's gonna cost about $2700.

In other news... how much do I need this??

None of my favorite things involve ice skates.

"Oh my God y'all!" That is the extent of my Britney impression.

"One Tree Hill" was really good last night, and next week they're going to go all Columbine on our asses. Someone is going to die. Can it be Rachel? Please? I'm going to be really upset if this show doesn't survive the move to The C.W. (And no, I'm actually not a 13-year-old.)

I caught up on some of my taped "Oprah" episodes last night. The Valentine's episode with Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood was the best. How adorable are they? And the way Garth cries at the drop of a hat? Love him.

The next issue of Maxim features Kristen Bell, the awesome star of "Veronica Mars" in her underwear. Well that's one way to get people watching the show.

And finally, wanna know why I hate the Olympics? Because it means "The Office" isn't on! This week's Entertainment Weekly features Steve Carell on the cover and the cast of "The Office" inside. So hurry out and buy one! Oh, and when you're done, can I borrow it?

Email received from The Smoking Gun in response to a local news story I sent them:

thanks very much.

regards,
bill baston
eeditor
tsg

They probably won't post my story, but hey, they're quick to respond.

Not Suffering From Da Vinci Fever

I finally finished The Da Vinci Code over the weekend, and I guess I'm still wondering what all the fuss is about.

It's not the worst book I've ever read, but I found the entire first half extremely slow and tedious. And even though as they said on "Family Guy", the chapters are like two pages so you feel really smart, I really had to force myself to get through it. And I only did that simply to figure out where the hell Dan Brown was going with all of it. There was a complete lack of characterization for the two main characters. Aside from their jobs, and that one of them wears a Mickey Mouse watch, I felt like I knew nothing about them. The author was constantly placing them into intense and dangerous situations where it seemed like we were supposed to care about their welfare, but how can I when I don't know anything about them?

The book covers a lot of information about art and the history of the masons and Christianity and Da Vinci and Mary Magdalene, and on and on, and did I mention on? about the sacred feminine. Some of the theories advanced in the novel have previously been published in other works and others are crazy outlandish. I was fascinated by the theory that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married, seeing as how Jesus was a 30-year-old-man living in Israel 2000 years ago, it made sense to me that he wouldn't have been a bachelor. However you can find just about every theory in the novel debunked has been by someone or another.

I thought the novel came to a satisfying conclusion, considering its shortcomings. However, I've really read better trashy romance novels. As entertaining as a modern thriller can be, it's amazing how worked up people have gotten. It really is as if the whole world suddenly remembered "Oh yeah! Pages with words on them! And instead of watching TV, you actually just read the words." Good thing the upcoming movie will take care of that whole pesky reading part.

Modern air travel is such a surreal experience. Yesterday morning I was walking through snow in central New York and this morning I'm back in Austin with our absurdly mild 50 degree weather.

I am completely devastated that UPN has invited a bunch of bloggers to a "Veronica Mars" Press Day (all expenses paid), and I wasn't invited. How is it possible that I don't blog enough about "Veronica Mars"? Are my entries not verbose enough? I don't link to their site enough? Not enough squeeing? I think I'm going to cry.

Ain't No Winter Carnival Like a Neptune Winter Carnival

Veronica Mars loves Weevil! Okay, maybe that’s just my opinion. Great episode! It didn’t advance the season’s arc that much, but it did seem to advance several relationships.

But seriously, what is Logan doing wasting that ridiculous amount of charm on some giggly sophomore with no personality and bad hair? Considering that said sophomore is the daughter of the witness who falsely accused Logan of murder (you know, the plastic surgeon in the Fitzpatrick’s back pocket), I’m really just hoping it’s all a setup. It’s not like he’s hard up. Where is Charisma anyway?

"Why is the Beav snuggly with that girl from Ghost World?" Mac and Beaver! Yay! Perfect pairing. I love them like Weevil loves Logan.

And Jackie is human? Who knew that? I had no idea.

Oh, and the final scene with Keith and Terrence Cook. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than a grown man crying about baseball.

I've recently taken up beading (as in making beaded jewelry), although so far my wire loops look like they were made by a 10-year-old and I don't have nearly the amount of supplies that I need to craft an inventory that allows me to one day quit my job and open my own home based business. Beading is great because I can do it while I watch TV! And if it can't be done while watching TV, it's really not worth doing. (And believe it or not, yes, I read.)

Shows I'm completely obsessed with (picture 1989, New Kids on the Block, and a 12-year-old-girl- that's what I'm talking about):
"Veronica Mars" (The best show on TV. The end. I even got Rob watching it!)
"Gilmore Girls" (although they're rapidly losing my devotion)
"One Tree Hill" (which makes me their oldest viewer I'm sure)
"The Office" (Jim and Pam forever!)

Shows that I'm dying to have back from hiatus:
"Deadwood" (The other best show on TV. When it's actually on.)
"Nip/Tuck"
"Real Time" with Bill Maher
"The Dead Zone"

Shows that I'm DVRing, but they're not life-changing:
"Scrubs" (don't get me wrong, this show is super funny- but it's no "Veronica Mars")
"Medium"
"Bones"
"My Name is Earl"

Shows that I watch but leave me feeling very "meh":
"Everybody Hates Chris"
"The West Wing"

This t-shirt is currently for sale at Urban Outfitters.

Help! The irony... it's actually killing me...

go vikings!

In honor of my ten year high school reunion this spring, I gave in to web crap and filled out this survey about high school memories:

1) where did you graduate from and what year?
Sidney Lanier High School (Austin, TX) Class of 1996

2) did you have school pride?
Sure! I was always proud to go to Lanier. That place makes you tough.

3) was your prom a night to remember?
Well I was sober, so I do remember it. But it really didn't live up to my expectations of what prom would be like.

4) do you own all 4 yearbooks?
Nope. I went to three different schools my freshman year so it's highly possible that I appeared in no yearbooks that year. But I bought my sophomore and senior yearbooks since I worked on the staff (and I admit it, since I knew that there were multiple pictures of me in them).

5) what was the worst trouble you ever got into?
I don't really remember getting into any trouble. How weird is that? If you're reading this, and you went to high school with me, please let me know if I have suppressed some memory of being in trouble. Otherwise, I'm a big loser.

6) what kind of people did you hang out with?
Drama freaks!

7) what was your number 1 choice of college in HS?
Besides NYU and Vanderbilt? Those were ruled out early on due to the fact that they exist out of state. So I guess Southwest Texas State (now Texas State University at San Marcos) was my first choice, and the only campus I visited. I got accepted to East Texas State (now Texas A&M at Commerce) but it was just a backup.

8) what radio station did you jam out to in high school?
Probably a combination of Mix 94 and 101X.

9) were you involved in any organizations or clubs?
I was the president of the Golden Myth Players drama club! I was also an anchor for WLHS, the video announcements. I also dabbled in yearbook, UIL Prose, and student advisory council. (I needed the extra curriculars to balance out a very mediocre GPA.)

10) what were your favorite classes in high school?
Broadcast journalism and senior English

11) who were your biggest crushes in high school?
Sorry, ten years isn't long enough to risk the embarrassment.

12) would you say you've changed a lot since high school?
Physically, yes. In emotional maturity? Like totally.

13) what do you miss most about high school?
Getting to work on plays, and generally how easy life was.

14) your worst memory of HS?
Well, four years of high school, so there's no way there's just one. Freshman year one of my best friends moved out of state suddenly. That was really hard. Sophomore year one of my classmates was murdered. We weren't close, but it was awful and sad. Isn't high school supposed to be a series of bad memories?

15) did you have a car?
1979 orange Mazda station wagon. It was groovy.

16) what were your school colors?
Gold and black I think. Or gold, black and white? Sorry, that is just too trivial.

17) who was your fav. teacher?
Oooh, that's hard. I'd probably have to say Cummins.

18) did you own a cell phone in high school?
What? I wasn't a drug dealer.

19) did you leave campus for lunch?
Yep, we had an open campus for lunch. It was awesome!

20) if so, where was your fav. place to go eat?
Double Dave's

21) were you late to class?
Constantly. By senior year I had my own stack of hall passes and I would just forge a teacher's name to get where I needed to go.

22) did you ever have to stay for Saturday school?
Yep, had to make up for excessive absences. Oops.

23) did you ever ditch?
See previous answer.

24) when it comes time for the reunion will you be there?
Well, first we have to wait and see if my class even gets it together enough to have a reunion. Then I guess I'll decide. Although it would help if I could finish college, get an awesome career and lose like half of my body weight before then. It would make the decision a lot easier.

25) do you wish you were still in high school?
Yeah, sometimes. But then I remember that I now have credit cards, a car that has working air conditioning AND a stereo, and a job that keeps me in cute shoes and hair highlights. Oh, and I never have to ask for a bathroom pass.

Survey snagged from Bif

CNN correspondent and my first love, Anderson Cooper, is now blogging! Who else could get Christiane Amanpour to blog for them when they're just too busy?

well I used to know a girl and I could have sworn that her name was Veronica

It’s that time again! Boy Veronica sure does get over losing her boyfriends fast. She spent a lot more time moping over her fake breakup than her real one. But I suppose it’s a good thing she wasn’t too mopey to help her BFF Wallace out of a big ass jam.

I can’t believe it! A bus crashed? When did that happen? You’d think if something that big happened that people might have been talking about it for months, or that Veronica and Keith might have, I don’t know… investigated?

Weevil got jumped out! By some biker named Thumper for God’s sake. What will Weevil do now? My prediction is that he’s going to go live with Logan at the Nepture Grand and they’re going to be the new Odd Couple!

"I have the perfect pantomime horse costume. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?"

Huh, this doesn't look like pizza.

This week we're trying out a new service we heard about on the local news. Food comes to our door! Um, more specifically, organic produce delivery. Greenling is a local company that offers home delivery of locally grown organic produce. And for items that aren't in season locally, they obtain them from other organic growers. You can set up weekly or bi-weekly delivery, and you can choose the package size that best suits your needs.

For our first delivery, we ordered 3 grapefruit, 5 bananas, 2 apples, 2 pears, one bell pepper, one onion, celery, 5 tomatoes, 1 lb of new potatoes, mixed greens, a bag of baby carrots, basil and 1 lb of broccoli. This is enough for one big batch of chicken soup, a basil pasta entree, as well as several side dishes for meals and snacks. We set up bi-weekly service for around $30 per delivery. So far everything has been pretty yummy and I'm mainly just worried that we won't be able to eat all of the vegetables before they go bad. (It's a little bit possible that we eat out too much.) Next time we might order more fruit than veggies. At least if bananas go bad you can freeze them and make muffins later.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Beware of my poisonous bite! I was born in the year of the snake:

Diplomatic and popular, the Snake has the sensual art of seduction down. This Sign is an interesting mix of gregariousness paired with introversion, intuitive reasoning paired with savvy business skills. Snakes are considered to be lucky with money and will generally have more than enough to live life to the fullest, regardless of how important it considers money to be; this may be due to the fact that Snakes tend to be rather tight with cash. They're not stingy, they're simply more mentally than physically active. Snakes tend to hang back a bit in order to analyze a situation before jumping into it. Their charming, seductive quality actually belies a rather retiring nature; this Sign is perfectly happy to spend the whole day curled up with a good book and, thus, can be mislabeled as being lazy. (Mislabeled it says!)

The Snake is somewhat insecure deep down and tend to be a rather jealous, possessive lover, behavior that can end up alienating loved ones. Despite these less-than-stellar tendencies, however, the Snake often proves irresistible and is a generous, loving partner. Slightly dangerous and disarmingly smart, the Snake's philosophical and intuitive mind generally supersedes logic in favor of feelings and instinct. Snakes will rely on their own gut reactions and intuitions before turning to others for suggestions. This makes this Sign a great hand in any business venture, possessing the caution and smarts needed to get ahead.

Snakes are hard workers (when they see good reason to be!) and are possessed of a keen intelligence. Snakes have incredible follow-through, once they get going, and they expect the same from others. Thus, their coworkers and employees had best stay on their toes, lest they anger the Snake and suffer its poisonous bite!

In general, of course, Snakes are generous and genteel, charming and appealing. Snakes must try to learn humility and to develop a stronger sense of self. Once Snakes realize that confidence comes from within, they will finally be comfortable in their own skin.

True love stories never have endings.

"Veronica Mars" kicked ass in typical fashion last night. Although with "Bones", "Lost", and "Veronica Mars" on at the same time, it was a logistics nightmare.

I love Joss Whedon, and Kevin Smith, and Lucy Lawless (can't hate someone who did an "X Files" spot), but the stunt casting MUST STOP.

Lamb went to SWT!

Does anyone else feel like no one has really grieved for Meg? Sorry, but I didn't buy the fake break-up scene at school for one second. Oh, and the whole bit with the cop inviting Veronica to the club he's a bouncer at? That will totally come up again.

I'll admit it, they blindsided me with the twist with sleazy Vinnie Vanlowe at the end. It's going to be interesting to see how Veronica is going to repair her relationship with her dad. But the whole Fitzpatricks and Felix storyline is leaving me very 'meh'. I don't love the Duncan character to pieces, but I didn't suspect that he'd be the budget cut. And awww, gotta love the new Lilly Kane.

It's kind of sad that even lounging around in my pajamas on a Sunday, I am better groomed than Britney Spears. All that money for ferraris, badly chosen trophy husbands, cheetohs, and red bull, and she can't buy one hairbursh?

four

Okay, I didn't actually get tagged on this. I've always been picked last for team sports. But I wanted to play anyway. So here's my fours.

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life:
1. data analyst (current)
2. summer camp counselor (for 7 years!)
3. grocery store clerk at Simon David
4. assistant manager of a Claiborne outlet

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over Again:
1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. Office Space
3. The American President
4. Pleasantville
(hours later, I'm still worrying about the movies I left off)

Four Places You’ve Lived:
1. Austin, TX
2. San Marcos, TX
3. Wimberley, TX
4. Fredericksburg, TX

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch: (I only get four??)
1. “Veronica Mars”
2. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
3. “The Office”
4. “Deadwood”

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation:
1. Port Aransas, TX
2. Cozumel, Mexico
3. Cooperstown, NY
4. South Padre, TX

Four Blogs You Visit Daily
1. freakgirl
2. pamie
3. dooce
4. gofugyourself

Four Of Your Favorite Foods:
1. pepperoni rolls from Double Dave’s
2. cheese fries from Outback Steakhouse
3. fettucini alfredo
4. thin mints!

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without:
1. the Buffy musical episode soundtrack “Once More With Feeling”
2. the “Great Days” John Prine box set
3. Dixie Chicks’ “Wide Open Spaces”
4. and that’s all I can remember, everything else is on the iPod

Four Vehicles You’ve Owned:
1. 1979 orange Mazda station wagon
2. 1992 blue Mitsubishi Precis
3. 2001 silver Saturn SL
4. 2002 maroon Saturn SL

Four People To Be Tagged:
Oh let's be honest. I don't have anyone to tag.

I will never swim again.

This is the creepiest thing I've ever seen. (Well, since the giant snails anyway.)
Jumbo Jellyfish Invade Japan
They can weigh up to 440 pounds!

I'm trying to not be offended that someone found my blog by searching for "huge ass".

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Today kicked off Girl Scout cookie season! Yay! What better way to enjoy "Celebrity Fit Club" than by eating an entire box of $3 cookies? Now trans-fat free! Happy Girl Scout cookie season to one and all.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

fug wear

Urban Outfitters is trying to convince us these items are actually fashionable. Fight the power ladies.

drunks in evening attire

The Golden Globes were actually really entertaining last night. The best part of the show is when they go to commercial break and for just a second you get to see people get up from their tables to schmooze and you can see all sorts of bizarre connections and wonder how does Pierce Brosnan know Melanie Griffith and what do they have to talk about?

Highlights: Isaac Mizrahi feeling up Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet. Ryan Phillippe drunkenly yelling at Joaquin Phoenix as he's accepting his award "You owe me $220!" Reese Witherspoon telling the press backstage that Ryan and Shirley MacLaine are now best friends, because Shirley knows everything about everyone. Which means Ryan Phillippe will soon be blackmailing half of Hollywood. Harrison Ford bringing his drink onstage and then handing it to Virginia Madsen so he could open the envelope. And I love that Felicity Huffman seemed totally thrilled to be beaten out by Mary-Louise Parker (who dedicated her award to John Spencer) for best actress in a comedy show. And Larry McMurty thanking his typewriter? The man wrote the great American novel, so he can be as eccentric as he likes.

Steve Carrell, Reese Witherspoon, and Mary-Louise Parker: So far the Golden Globes don't suck. Yay!
Oh, and Nancy Walls should write everyone's acceptance speeches. That would make this show so much more fun.

I hate being wrong.

Okay, fine, so it's not actually possible to die from a sinus infection. You could not have convinced me of that three days ago. Although there is still the possibility that the dizziness caused by my antibiotics will cause me to crash my car and die in a fiery explosion. In which case, the sinus infection will actually have killed me, albeit indirectly.

If you're wondering where all the kleenex in the state went...

Rob and I came down with colds the week after Christmas. Immediately after finishing the bedroom remodel, we became sick. So all of the things we planned to do during our vacation, that we put off until the room was finished, yeah, we didn't do any of them.
So we're recovered from our colds, for the most part, just battling some residual congestion and drainage (don't you love it when people share?). And then yesterday afternoon, Rob starts feeling achy and weak, and wakes up with a fever in the night. And this morning I woke up with a cough, accompanied by chest pain every time I cough.
Rob is sure he has the bird flu. From all that time he's been spending in Turkey lately I suppose. But me? SARS.

The President's Reading List

White House spokesman Trent Duffy said "The president is an avid reader. He reads books of all kinds and stripe and persuasion."

Now why do I find that so hard to believe?

Yeah, but at least my socks don't match.

Our new loveseat was just delivered. We needed more seating in our living room and took the easy way out and bought the loveseat that matched our sofa. I now own matching dressers, matching nightstands, and now matching sofas. My mother will be so appalled.

snack attack

As much as I liked all of my Christmas gifts, I'm kind of disappointed that no one got me this:

What I Did Over My Christmas Vacation

It took about five days to remodel our bedroom. That's counting the days that we were really lazy and got a slow start, and the time it took to move all of our furniture in and out of the room. And the time it took to tape around all of the doors, and windows. And that short sentence doesn't convey how freakin' long it took to tape around everything. The walls have been painted with American Tradition satin in Autumn Sky, and the floors are Kronotex wood laminate in Heirloom Cherry. The baseboards were replaced and painted in a white semi-gloss.

I did the majority of the taping and cutting in (except for the ceiling). Rob assisted with taping and pried off the old baseboards. My mother came over and ripped out the carpet and padding, pulled up tack strips and nails from the concrete foundation, and helped with painting and cutting in at the ceiling, which I had been dreading. She also assisted with shopping for baseboards, and loaned us tons of supplies for painting and prying glue up from cement (who knew they made a tool for that?) which we didn't have. Then she came over the next day and helped lay the underlayment padding over the concrete floor. Then her friend Tami came to install the floor. My mother, Tami, and Tami's friend Frank laid the laminate flooring for the entire room while Rob and I said "Hey, that's cool!" and tried to stay out of their way. They also installed the new baseboards which Rob and I had painted. Then Rob caulked the baseboards once they were installed. All we have left to do is install thresholds in both doorways, and buy curtains.

Thanks to my mother, and Tami and Frank.

(More photos can be found here.)

I've been off all week working on remodeling our bedroom. Pictures to come soon.

Cyber Festivus Greetings

I was a lazy twit this year and didn't manage to get any Christmas cards out in time, so here's my virtual Christmas card:

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and much love to...

the Poiriers
the Seavers
the Gregorys
the Stricklands
the Kellums
the Schemms
Jennifer & Matt
Brian & Ainsley
the Bursts
Jimmy & Heather
Ben & Caitlin
John & Heather
Leslie
Nicole & Kevin
Shug & Kim
Jamaica
Kelley
Steve
the Roebucks
Michella
Emily
the Cummins
Cacedra
Susan
and anyone I might have missed...

Praise the Lord and pass the Little Debbies.

She's lucky I didn't post the one where she's "Strokin" all hopped up on Asskicker at The O.B.

Happy Birthday Sally! Sally (otherwise known as Nicole) is 29 years-old today. Wow, that is scary close to 30! I didn't get her a birthday present, or a Christmas present, or a wedding present. Mostly because she's been living in Prague for the last year and half or so. And she and her new husband are bohemian vagabonds who refuse to buy a house in the suburbs and stay put, so that I can give them tacky knick knacks. What kind of wedding present do you get for people like that?

Seriously, what is wrong with her?

Yesterday, Ann Coulter wrote in her syndicated column:

I have difficulty ginning up much interest in this story inasmuch as I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo.

Jay Marvin, sitting in for Jerry Springer this morning on Air America read that paragragh on the air. Jay Marvin was of the opinion that like her hero Joe McCarthy, Ann Coulter has a serious character flaw. Um, try mental illness? Bitch be CRAZY.

Some dweeb on a Rotten Tomatos forum did not understand the greatness that is "The Chronic of Narnia" posted:

Okay, call me stupid and for the record I don't listen to rap music but why is this so funny. It was a little funny but I really don't get this for the most part.

And Malchickiwick, some really clever persona who is my new best friend responded:

The style of the rapping is "gansta rap" which is generally performed by muscular, rich, hip, black artists, and the subject of the songs is usually "thug life," which involves drugs, womanzing, being hip, and having a lot of money.

In this case, however, the rappers are two, white Jewy guys with unimpressive physical attributes and little money or fashion sense.

Their song is about watching a geeky fantasy movie for kids, cutting corners on prices, and other unhip or mundane activities.

Thus, the form of the song is the opposite of the song's content, creating irony. Irony is one way of achieving humor.

Lazy Sunday

Yo stop at the deli, the theatre's overpriced,
'you got the backpack?' 'Gonna pack it up nice'
Don't want security to get suspicious,
Mr Pibb plus Red Vine equals crazy delicious.

I reach in my pocket, pull out some doh
girl acted like she never seen a ten befo'.
It's all about the Hamiltons, baby!
Throw the snacks in the bag, and I'm Ghost like Swayze

Did anybody win in Vegas?

So wow, good thing I didn't place any bets on my "Nip/Tuck" Carver guess. Nobody could have predicted a Quentin/Kit team! And then to play wacky music while those two head off to carve their way around Europe? Amazing.

The Chronic Whhhat? Cles of Narnia

If you missed SNL on Saturday night, you missed the one funny bit of the season! Chris Parnell and one of the newest featured players Andy Samberg, debuted their rap "The Chronic of Narnia". You must check it out.

R.I.P. John Spencer. Better known as Leo McGarry on "The West Wing", John Spencer would have been 59 on Tuesday.

What are my Vegas odds?

I'm calling it right now: The "Nip/Tuck" Carver is Gina. Right? Right? Quentin has to be a red herring, cause dude is wicked obvious.

Edited to add: Vegas odds reported at 500-1 on Gina. Sweet! Now I just need some money to bet with...

The four most recent searches that landed people at my blog:

weevil on veronica mars (yay for Veronica love! And sorry Weevil fan, I didn't mean it.)

your an ass (Awesome. And I applaud your grammar choice.)

is danny and melinda getting married of the real world austin (Even better.)

http://queenkandis.blogspot.com (It's called an address bar, check it out some time.)

The pipe, it has been passed.

The Golden Globe nominations were released today, and it feels like the Emmy's all over again. I really can't talk about the movies because the only contender I've seen is Walk the Line (which is in the Musical or Comedy category). I do plan to see Brokeback Mountain, Crash, The Family Stone, and Pride & Prejudice at some point.

So the TV nominations: Yes to "Lost" being nominated for best drama, "Everybody Hates Chris" and "My Name is Earl" for best comedy nominations, Mary Louise Parker for "Weeds" (I haven't seen the show cause we don't have Showtime, but she's always brilliant so I buy it here). Yes to Steve Carell for "The Office" and Jason Lee for "Earl" and Zach Braff for "Scrubs".

No to "Deadwood" and "Veronica Mars" being snubbed all over hell and back. No nominations for any "Deadwood" (Ian McShane or Molly Parker) or "Veronica Mars" (Kristen Bell or Jason Dohring) cast? Inexcusable. Oh, and Lauren Graham, Julian McMahon, and John C. McGinley are probably used to their amazing performances being ignored by awards shows. "Prison Break" gets a best drama nomination before "Deadwood"? Are you freaking kidding me? Even "The West Wing" cast got snubbed. Now sure, their writing has really sucked in the last year, but Leo had a heart attack! That had to be good for a nod. And four of the "Desperate Housewives" women nominated? Isn't that excessive? I don't even watch that show and even I know Eva Longoria couldn't act to save her life. And to try and convince us that there's so few female comedic talents on TV that they have to waste four of the five nominations on one cast? And even if that were the case, I can easily think of four women on "Gilmore Girls" who are much funnier, and that show is a drama.

The Golden Globes voters are smoking the Emmy crack.

AFI names the top TV shows of 2005: 24, Battlestar Galactica, Deadwood, Grey’s Anatomy, House, Lost, Rescue Me, Sleeper Cell, Sometimes in April and Veronica Mars.

Finally! Someone sees the light.

I blame Elvis. Again.

As if I don't have enough embarrassing obsessions and hobbies, I have another confession to make. I'm 28 years-old and I watch "One Tree Hill". I just can't seem to stop myself. You all can keep your "O.C." and your "Laguna Beach", and give me a plain old high school drama set in North Carolina any day. I adore the trashiness, and over the top love triangles and melodrama, and the hallmark of modern teen dramas- a serious lack of visible parents. And what parents there are? Totally crazy and about as emotionally mature as your average sophomore. And this week, "One Tree Hill" did the impossible. They made me like Tyler Hilton, or at least his pop singer wannabe character. And I really couldn't stand him! The smarmy tool with idiotic hair and no discernable motivation for his actions. But then he sold his beloved guitar to help someone he'd wronged, and now I actually like the dumbass. Fuckin' Elvis.

Nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like processed cake products.

I forgot to mention one of the very best things about Christmas. There is a God, and her name is Little Debbie.

Is anyone else cool enough to have a Swedish band named after them?

December Exclamations

Rob posted pictures of Christmas at our house!

Only 5 days until my very favorite Austin holiday event, the Armadillo Christmas Bazaar!

My sister Abby turns five in less than two weeks!

Nicole comes home from Prague on her birthday, December 23rd!

My Amazon wishlist still has three pages of gifts for you to choose from!

Last One to the Da Vinci Party

So I started The Da Vinci Code. I think everyone on the planet has raved about it. And when something gets that much buzz, I just hate being left out. I remember when The Firm came out when I was in junior high or high school, and it was simply huge. So I read it, because I just had to know what everyone was talking about. And to this day, I don't get what the big deal was. It was okay, but on the boring side. A Time to Kill was a much better Grisham novel.

Now I know, The Da Vinci Code has been out for a while. But honestly? I don't buy hardback books unless it's by an author that I already love. So I thought I'd just wait for this one to come out in paperback. But the damn thing just will not leave the bestseller list. It may never be released in paperback. So I borrowed a copy from my step-dad months, maybe years ago, and I finally started it. But I suspect it's not worthy of all the hype.

Am I wasting my time?

Am I the only one who noticed that on "The Real World - Austin" reunion special that Danny appeared to propose to Melinda with a donated ring? The vapid "TRL" host who led the circus thanked the jeweler by name. Which was helpful, cause Rob and I were wondering how a Real World alum (do those people ever get jobs?) could afford a such a shiny object.

I don't think this is what Al Gore intended.

What would we do without the internet? Without the internet, how would I be able to have an entire conversation over email about “Days of our Lives” with one of my oldest friends who is currently living in Prague?

Kandis wrote:
Rick Springfield is returning to “General Hospital”! Austin is back on “Days”! Marlena was married to some dude she doesn't remember! Belle and Phillip got married and had a baby! Except the baby is Shawn's. But now he's getting it on with Mimi.
They killed Cassie on “Young & the Restless”, but they don't show Y&R on the Soap Network so I don't watch.

Nicole wrote:
After all this time they're still not letting Belle and Shawn be happy together!?!? Phillip is such a drag!!!! And Cassie as in Nick and Sharon's Cassie is dead?? That's so wrong...

Kandis wrote:
Oh, and yeah, Nick and Sharon's daughter Cassie got killed off. And Belle and Shawn can't be together, because Phillip lost his legs in Iraq, so Belle couldn't leave him, after she decided for the hundredth time that she and Shawn should be together. But Phillip has robotic legs or some shit now.

Nicole wrote:
OMG I am laughing my ass off right now!!! It was funny enough that pansy-ass Philip lost BOTH (how tragic) legs in the war and now he has ROBOTIC legs!?!? Just when you think it can't get any worse... And why hasn't Philip's rich Daddy paid for advance stem-call research to be done in order to re-grow Philip's legs in a petri dish??? I should soo be writing this...

Kandis wrote:
Well I don't think Phillip would even have robotic legs if he wasn't a Kiriakis. He'd still be rolling his enormous head around in a wheelchair (and seriously, Phillip (as played by Kyle from "The Real World - Chicago" has a gigantic head). But Victor hasn't been around. He was on that damn Mystery Island with half the other cast for months. It was supposed to be like their big summer storyline, and then it dragged on for like a year. And various people were presumed dead at different times, including Marlena, Victor, Roman, Abe, Jack, etc. But now of course they're all back and alive and blah blah. Oh, except for Jack, who's dying from a mystery ailment.The best part about Phillip losing his legs in Iraq was when Shawn, Lucas, and Brady all mounted a rescue campaign and actually managed to get TO Iraq and to the crazy desert where Phillip's platoon was. The height of ridiculousness. That is “Days”.

Nicole wrote:
There are no words for that.... And I fled the country around the time that the Salemites were being deposited on some mystery island. I'm glad I got out while I could. Is that Chloe chick (didn't she date George Clooney) still on there???

Kandis wrote:
I haven't seen her lately, but then I hardly ever get to watch a full episode. I just stop for a few minutes when flipping through. The Soap Network runs “Days” reruns every day. I think Chloe was seen in public with George Clooney once. I don't know if they were actually dating, or if they were just standing near each other on a red carpet? Chloe was back from the supposed dead, with a huge ass ugly scar on her face that she was too scared to let Brady or anyone else see. But not letting anyone see her did not prevent her from wearing approximately 10lbs of makeup. Last I saw, Brady had FINALLY stopped playing sex buddies with Nicole (his father's ex wife, brother's ex girlfriend, and the actor's real life wife) and was going to marry Chloe, but she got cold feet at the last minute. Now I don't know what happened, and Nicole is now all over the returned Austin.

Best. Show. Ever. Redux

That was the most kick ass "Veronica Mars" since the season finale! What lunatic saves up that many bombshells for the last night of sweeps? That Rob Thomas is totally insane, in a good way. Meg is awake! And knocked up! Trina was the principal's illegitimate child? The hell? Duncan totally slept with Kendall, right? It's written all over him. Weevil and Logan are teaming up! And Mac and Beaver are gonna be the cutest couple that ever was. Oh my God, why am I still the only one watching this show?

And holy crap, next week they're going to kill someone!

Veronica Mars-athon tickets go on sale Friday... and I have no one to go with.

Austin can be ugly alright.

Our local NBC affiliate did a news story last night called "Austin's Ugly Underbelly" (watch the video just to see the apartment manager who's drunk or high or both). It was basically about one apartment complex in South Austin that's a haven for crack dealers and prostitutes. (And if there were any people in town who didn't know where to get either of those products, they do now.) At one point the reporter says:

It's the crack capital of Austin, a hotspot for whores and a haven for heroin use.

Am I the only one offended by the use of the word "whore" in a nightly newscast? It just sounds so judgemental. And that doesn't seem fair coming from the guy who got way too excited about finding condoms and crack balloons behind an apartment complex.

You look like you're goin' to a funeral.

We saw Walk the Line over the weekend, which is an insanely good movie. And there's one point in the movie where a young Johnny Cash is offerred prescription drugs by one of the members of his tour who endorses them by saying "Elvis uses them all the time". Fuckin' Elvis. And the audience titters, because of course we all know where this is headed. Not only were prescription drugs Elvis' downfall, he also apparently started Johnny Cash on the same downward spiral. It just got me thinking, who knows how many people Elvis lured to the dark side with his uppers and downers? Fuckin' Elvis. It's all his fault.

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

I totally forgot to tell you guys (all two of you? three of you?) that my site was mentioned on Austinist last week! E was cool enough to link to my site as well as help spread the gospel of "Veronica Mars". However, I still don't have anyone who wants to go to the Veronica Mars-athon with me. What is wrong with you people?

I am geeky with excitement about Walk the Line this weekend. Why? I have no idea.

Blog at your own risk.

Last week I found out one of my fellow coworkers has a blog. The link was being passed around the support floor (not like wildfire, the gossip contained in the blog just wasn't that good) and it was said that she named names. So I checked out the blog, and she did name a few coworkers, including her opinions of them, and she did mention the name of the company. All of this probably wouldn't have elicited much comment, except the person with the blog has some enemies. So within a couple of days, there were rumors that the company might actually start enforcing their policies regarding blogs, and paranoia soon followed. I'm not completely ignorant of the fact that one should be careful what they blog about. So I try not to name the company or disparage them or my coworkers by name. I really enjoy getting a paycheck. I checked out my company's policy on blogging, and as far as I can tell it is basically: Don't blog at work. That doesn't sound too unreasonable. But still, in the last week, three coworkers have deleted their blogs, including the original one that started all the paranoia.

In the midst of all the rumors, I did a little reading up on some of the infamous bloggers who have been fired for their blogs, you know the ones: Washingtonienne, Queen of the Sky, and Dooce (as in dooced). I wasn't really worried about personally getting fired. Work rumors don't usually amount to anything, and I honestly don't think my blog is breaking any rules. Especially since I don't have any of the anger issues that would result from having a boss who orders Prada online at work.

As a result of my research, I've been reading the Dooce archives. She did a very thorough job of documenting her pregnancy, labor, and subsequent breastfeeding and sleep deprivation. However, as a result of her horrifying experiences, mine and Rob's parents can totally forget about grandchildren.

I do not understand people who talk on their cell phones while in a public bathroom- on the toilet. This is a sure sign that people are now slaves to the telephone.

Veronica Mars-athon!

The Alamo Drafthouse Downtown is having a Veronica Mars-athon! Complete with creator Rob Thomas and various stars! And the next day, they're premiering a new episode, before it airs on TV! And having a Q&A with creator and cast! This is huge. This is bigger than a Serenity premiere. Bigger than a Buffy sing-along.
Rob doesn't want to go with me, and I'm not quite geeky enough to go on my own. This is tragic.

Yo! K-Fed Raps!
"My prediction is that y'all gonna hate on the style we create, straight 2008."

We had a good number of trick-or-treaters last night, the vast majority of which seemed to be accompanied by their parents. But parents, please don't let your punk ass twelve-year-old boys go trick-or-treating without costumes and manners?

As part of the Austin Police Department's new public relations campaign, I suggest the slogan "Not Just Shooting Citizens in East Austin Anymore".

Use Nelda's Tailors at your peril.

In less that one week, I'm going to be the maid-of-honor (Or matron I guess. It's hard to know since all of the bride's attendants are married.) in my friend Jennifer's wedding. And there is the possibility that we aren't going to have anything to wear.

The bridesmaid dresses are being made by Nelda's Tailors on Airport Blvd in Austin. Nelda's is only open from 8am-5:30pm Monday through Friday and 9am-12pm on Saturdays. The tailors have had the fabric and patterns since August. All of the bridesmaids were measured at Nelda's by the end of September, beginning of October. A few weeks later, the bride was told the dresses were ready for us to go in for fittings. They never called the bridesmaids, despite having our phone numbers and having told us we'd be called when the dresses were ready. I went in to the tailor on October 22nd for my fitting only to be told that my dress wasn't ready, but the other bridesmaid dresses were. They were unable to fit me because the tailor, who works weekdays only, prefers to do that himself (no one bothered to tell the bride this when she initially made arrangements for our dresses to be made there). They asked me to make an appointment to come back during the week. The other bridesmaids who showed up for their fittings also found that their dresses were not ready. Jennifer (the stressed out bride) then called Nelda's and made arrangments for us to come in for fittings on Saturday, October 29 (eight days before the wedding).

I called that Saturday to make sure that my dress was ready for a fitting. I went in for my fitting to find that my dress was basically just pinned together in a few pieces, the only sewing done so far was a zipper. The other bridesmaid dresses were in similar shape. The tailor made some adjustments to the pinning. I asked if Tuesday morning would be too soon for me to come by for a final fitting (I was hoping to combine the fitting with a doctor's appointment so as to not have to take any further time off work) and the tailor said that was fine.

November 1st, (six days before the wedding) I show up for my fitting only to be told that my dress isn't ready and that the tailor is working on one of the other bridesmaid dresses. I was asked to come back at 4pm. Um, no. I actually work for a living and can't keep stopping by a tailor's in hopes that my dress will actually be done. At this point I'm going to have to work through lunch one day this week so that I can leave work early in hopes of getting to Nelda's Tailors before they close at 5:30pm.

Nelda's Tailors has caused numerous inconveniences, given the impression of total incompetence, and has pretty much outright lied to the entire bridal party. Jennifer's wedding is in six days, and she and her attendants will spend that time worrying that Nelda's Tailors will not finish the dresses in time.

Edited to add: There was a message left on my answering machine (so I didn't get it until I got home) November 2nd (four days before the wedding) letting me know that my dress was finished and could I come in at 1pm? Again, no. I work for a living. (I tried making it as a professional bridesmaid who has loads of free time to drop in on tailors, but I just couldn't cut it.) The message also said that they'd be giving me a $25 discount on the price of the dress. To make up for the inconveniences I suppose, or just because I'm super cute? They didn't say. So the next day I went in to pick up my dress, which was finished and does appear to fit alright. The receipt showed a discount of $20, instead of $25. But what do I care? At least Jennifer won't have naked bridesmaids.

It's Veronica's world, we just live in it.

How smart is UPN to run a new "Veronica Mars" episode while ABC ran a "Lost" rerun? And yeah, I know that the "Lost rerun" still stomped all over "Veronica Mars" ratings. Awesome episode! Lamb is evil! Duncan was likable! Keith and Alicia are fighting! Jackie was, well, kind of a bitch like we already knew. And Wallace... poor Wallace. Finally calling Veronica on her shit! But by God, that leaving town thing better just be a pre-sweeps cliffhanger. Rob Thomas, you are not allowed to take Wallace away. You can have Weevil instead.

Albertson's is afraid of the female body.

Portland Oregon Albertson's bans October issue of Seventeen Magazine. Apparently an article entitled "Vagina 101" and billed as an "Owner's Manual" is just too obscene for the female readers in possession of such body parts. Things I learned today? I now like Seventeen magazine more than I thought I did, and Albertson's even less.

Joss Whedon Kills

I finally saw Serenity. I thought it was very good, though mostly just a more expensive version of one of the TV episodes. (That's not a bad thing.) I didn't care for the fact that just about every funny line had already appeared in a trailer on the Sci-Fi channel, but the dialogue still worked. Though I'd prefer if Nathan Fillion just tried to enunciate. And Joss... I've forgiven Joss for a lot. Jenny, Kendra, Joyce, Tara, Anya, Doyle, Cordelia, Fred, Lindsey, and Wesley. But there is a point where the man has got to stop doing that!

The Mugshot

I won't let the lack of his usual smug yet pissy expression ruin this moment for me.

giant orange melons

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time today looking at pumpkin carving patterns and photos online, trying to decide what I'm going to do with my pumpkin. Last year I did a blurry alien. This year I'm trying to come up with something a little more interesting. At the moment, my uncarved pumpkin is sitting on the park bench in my front yard with a child-size posable skeleton next to it.

This Extreme Pumpkins site has some awesome ideas, although a few of them are a little too graphic for suburbia.

My favorites are the territorial pumpkin:

and cannibal pumpkin:

So what sick and depraved thing are you going to carve?

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

all the things I haven't done

I just started A Breath of Snow and Ashes last night. And yes I know I was having spasms about it weeks ago, but I couldn't start it yet. In preparation for the September release date of the book, I began rereading the entire Outlander series. And I was making pretty good time until Drums of Autumn (the fourth book) and The Fiery Cross (the fifth book). For some reason those two are pretty slow reading for me. Now this is not the first time I've reread the series, but I always feel the need to do this in preparation for a new book release. Mostly to refresh my mind on the details and whatever plot points or character issues that I had been curious about getting some answers to. So I preordered my A Breath of Snow and Ashes copy, because I had to have it the moment it was released, whether I was going to start reading it or not. But that same touch of OCD compelled me to finish The Fiery Cross (again) before starting the new book. And now I'm a few chapters into the pretty silver monstrosity (992 pages). So if you're wondering what I'm doing, that's it.

Oh, and I still haven't seen Serenity. Avoiding spoilers is a constant battle. We keep saying next weekend, and then we don't get around to it. I blame the Alamo Drafthouse for not showing it at any of the north theaters. How am I supposed to drag Rob to see a sci-fi movie without bribing him with beer?

I'm gonna be rich!

Or I will as soon as I send my bank account information to this spammer. (Email posted in its entirety, complete with fun grammatical errors.)

Hello,

My name is Mrs.Jennifer Wilson I am a dying woman who had decided to donate what I have to you. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago,immediately after the death of my husband, who had left me everything he worked for.

I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to the you for the good work of God,rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard earned funds.I have asked God to forgive me all my sins and i believe he has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation,and i pray that i survive the operation.

I have decided to WILL/donate the sum of $1,500,000(One million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and to help the motherless, less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, due to the fact that my relatives are around me and i have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls because i deserve all thee rest i can get.Presently,I have informed my lawyer about my decision in WILLING this fund to you.

I know I have never met you but I have been directed to do this by God,and i hope you act sincerely.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished,as I don't want anything that will Jeopardize my last wish, due to the fact that i do not want relatives or family members standing in the way of my last wish.You can send your reply to jenny_wilson@walla.com

Love,
Jennifer Wilson

Multi-tasking Shoes

My favorite brand of flip-flops has released a new style. The Reef Fanning has a built in bottle opener in the sole. How cool is that? This is the best spring break shoe ever! (And yes I realize that I'm too old for spring break, thank you.) I'm getting the pink.

It's rainy and cold (50's in Texas... brrr!) and as a result I'm craving pot roast, or beef stew, or chicken soup, and cornbread. Comfort foods! Now who wants to make me some? Cause otherwise my lazy ass is gonna end up with pizza.