Why aren't you watching The Vampire Diaries?

“There’s no such thing as a bad idea, just poorly executed awesome ones.”

-Damon Salvatore

Something to keep in mind when making your Oscar picks.

Via Lindy West:


A Los Angeles Times study found that academy voters are markedly less diverse than the moviegoing public, and even more monolithic than many in the film industry may suspect. Oscar voters are nearly 94% Caucasian and 77% male, the Times found. Blacks are about 2% of the academy, and Latinos are less than 2%. Oscar voters have a median age of 62, the study showed. People younger than 50 constitute just 14% of the membership.

Oscar winner Jack Palance = it all makes sense now.

My Oscar Predictions 2012

Geez, when did the Best Picture category get so glutted? I think I agree with most of Roger Ebert's predictions this year. (Though you'll note that I also predict the possible upset where applicable.) Ebert predicts The Artist for Best Picture, which is a perfectly rational guess, based on it's performance at the preceeding award shows. However, I do not have that much faith in the Academy. I think The Artist will be too avant-garde for their sensibilities, and they'll choose The Help, just like they chose Crash, and Forrest Gump. Because sometimes, the Academy is just dumb.

Best PictureExtremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Artist
The Descendants
The HelpThe Tree of Life
War Horse

Leading ActorBrad Pitt (Moneyball)
Demian Bichir (A Better Life)
Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
George Clooney (The Descendants)
Jean Dujardin (The Artist)
My heart says "George Clooney!" because... well, why wouldn't your heart cry out for him? But Jean Dujardin is likely the sure bet, especially if the voter didn't choose his movie for Best Picture. Can you say 'consolation prize'?

Leading ActressGlenn Close (Albert Nobbs)
Meryl Streep (The Iron Lady)
Michelle Williams (My Week With Marilyn)
Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)
Viola Davis (The Help)
For the love of all that is holy, Academy, do not screw this up. Do not give yet another freaking award to a tepid Meryl Streep movie.

Supporting ActorChristopher Plummer (Beginners)Jonah Hill (Moneyball)
Kenneth Branagh (My Week With Marilyn)
Max von Sydow (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close)
Nick Nolte (Warrior)
If it doesn't go Plummer's way (though he's old, and the Academy loves that shit), look for Nick Nolte for the upset.
Supporting ActressBerenice Bejo (The Artist)
Jessica Chastain (The Help)
Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids)
Janet McTeer (Albert Nobbs)
Octavia Spencer (The Help)
Melissa McCarthy could be the upset here, and with good reason. Though Octavia had the more serious performance, and that always has the edge.


Animated FeatureA Cat in Paris
Chico
& Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

Directing
Hugo (Martin Scorsese)Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen)
The Artist (Michel Hazanavicius)
The Descendants (Alexander Payne)
The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick)
Again, I break with Ebert. The Academy loves them some freakin' Scorsese (drink!). Though, this is also another consolation prize award, and they may choose to give it to Terrence Malick, because Tree of Life won't be picking up a single other statue.

Screenplay (Adapted)The DescendantsHugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Though Moneyball could be the upset here.


Screenplay (Original)The Artist
Bridesmaids
Margin Call
Midnight in ParisA Separation

Documentary FeatureHell and Back Again
If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
Paradise Lost 3: PurgatoryPina
Undefeated

And just in case you're curious, I'm also calling A Separation for the Foreign Language Film.

“You're dead, dude. Get over it.”

So my current obsession is vampires. And you’re like “You? No! That’s crazy talk.” But no, REALLY, YOU GUYS. The Vampire Diaries is currently in its third season, and it is so insanely good, that I can’t even stop talking about it. The energy and pacing is amazing. They throw so many huge plot twists and new developments into every single episode, that it’s like sweeps week all the time.

In the first season, and on the surface, it’s very Twilight-esque. A hundred-something year-old vampire falls in love with a human teenager. But right away, the story expands, and it’s not just about the two star-crossed lovers anymore. It’s really funny, and genuine, and action-packed. It’s about love and loss, and betrayal and forgiveness, and trying to be strong in the face of overwhelming odds. And the epic bromance between a vampire and a vampire hunter. But at its core, The Vampire Diaries is about characters. Amazing, flawed, three-dimensional, evolving characters.

The two very different brothers who’ve fallen in love with the same woman… twice. The brooding vampire who’s been betrayed by his brother a hundred times, but hasn’t become jaded or forgotten how to smile. The anti-Bella who loves a vampire, but hasn’t lost her self, who values family and friends above everything, and never wants to become a vampire. The most reckless, manipulative, and self-destructive vampire ever, who loves his brother… and his brother’s girlfriend. The human history teacher who’s lost the two women he’s loved but is trying to be there for two teenagers who’ve lost everyone. The cheerleader turned Vampire Barbie who’s acquired depth and compassion but never lost her enthusiasm for life. The young witch who’s willing to sacrifice herself for the ones she loves. The sullen teenager who’s faced overwhelming loss but is growing up and trying to be there for his family.

Oh, and every actor on this show is mind-blowingly talented and insanely good-looking. The first two seasons are on dvd and Netflix Instant and if you don’t start watching them immediately, I don’t even want to know you.

The book post that never was.

"Town is fearfully dull, except for the frequent raids of the Servant Girl Annihilators, who make things lively in the dull hours of the night...."

-O. Henry

I tried to read A Twist at the End by Steven Saylor, I did try.

The subject matter is fascinating. It's set in Austin in 1885, when the entire city was living in terror of it's very own serial killer (three years before Jack the Ripper stalked London), the Servant Girl Annihilator. I've thought for a while that time and place would be a great setting for a novel, and then I found out someone had already written it. So I was somewhat psyched to read A Twist at the End, despite the mediocre Amazon reviews.

But it is a fat book. 576 pages. Although I don't object to a long book, I object to a boring book. And only a handful of pages into the first chapter, we meet the Exposition Fairy. For the non-TV or video game addicted: the Exposition Fairy is the character that helpfully explains to the audience whatever back-story is necessary to the scene that couldn't fit into the "Previously on..." This is almost always done as awkward conversation that doesn't at all resemble conversation heard in real life. I can deal with the Exposition Fairy on television shows (though voiceovers, like on "My So-Called Life" and "Veronica Mars" make for much better exposition- in case any TV producers are reading) I object to having them appear in the first chapter of a murderously long book. It just comes off as hacky.

That's a lot of annoyance to plow through. So instead of dreading it, and avoiding it, I just quit. 576 pages people. I'd rather read Twilight for the 59th time.

I may shelve this and come back to it later. If I ever run out of vampires romances.

Can't. Wait.

"True Blood", June 14!

29 days! (Not that I'm counting.)

Book #34: Dead and Gone

Dead and Gone is the ninth Southern Vampire Mysteries/Sookie Stackhouse book. And you would not believe how freakin' excited I was for this book to come out.

Sookie Stackhouse, small town Louisiana barmaid and unwilling telepath, leads a pretty exciting life. The vampires have been out in the open for a while, and the other supernaturals (werewolves, shape-shifters, fairies etc) she's known about for some time are making their presence known to the rest of the world. Plus she has two super hot vampires vying for her affections.

As far as this series goes, this volume seemed pretty epic. The pace was breakneck (which is saying a lot for a Southern author) and I could barely stand to put it down to go to work and to sleep. To avoid spoilers, I won't even get into her love life, but... Yum.

There are no more Sookie Stackhouse books being published this year, and I'm struggling to deal with that. However, HBO's "True Blood" (based on the series) comes back for a second season on June 14!

2009 Oscar Picks (at 12:12pm)

It's impossible to not second-guess your Oscar picks. While I feel pretty confident with the idea that the Academy will go with Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler, in part because of the cinematic-like ressurection of Mickey Rourke's career, we can't discount the universal belief that dour and humorless Sean Penn is a great actor. Conventional wisdom says Danny Boyle will win Best Director for Slumdog Millionaire. This year is all about Slumdog Millionaire. However, sometimes the Academy knows a film is going to be honored already (Slumdog will be winning Best Picture) so they use the Best Director category to honor another good film, which is why I think Frost/Nixon and the universally beloved Ron Howard, might have a shot (as well as Benjamin Button in the cinematography category). Viola Davis (for Best Supporting Actress) is my dark horse , and I totally called it before I saw Ebert had too.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Kate Winslet, The Reader

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Viola Davis, Doubt

Best animated feature film of the year
WALL-E

Achievement in cinematography
Slumdog Millionaire

Achievement in costume design
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Achievement in directing
Frost/Nixon

Best documentary feature
Trouble the Water

Adapted screenplay
Doubt

Original screenplay
Milk

Best motion picture of the year
Slumdog Millionaire

Book #1: Three Bedrooms, One Corpse

Three Bedrooms, One Corpse is the third book in the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries by Charlaine Harris (known for the Southern Vampire Mysteries, basis for HBO's wickedly entertaining "True Blood", the Harper Connelly Mysteries, and Lily Bard Mysteries) . This is the fourth Charlaine Harris series I've read.

The heroine, Aurora Teagarden is a former librarian, who due to an unexpected inheritance, is now a lady of leisure. Score! Short, nearsighted, and heavily into true crime, she tends to stumble upon a lot of dead bodies. In this third novel, she begins an affair with the mysterious new older man in town, while also trying to figure out who keeps murdering local realtors.

I think this is Charlaine Harris' first mystery series, which would explain why Aurora Teagarden is the least clearly drawn of her heroines. Aside from her bookishness, lack of height, and fascination with murder, she doesn't have quite as much personality as her literary mystery solving sisters.

That aside, the books are entertaining, and I'll be devouring them as fast as my Kindle can download them.

Not Qutting My Day Job

I called four out of 13 categories. It's like I don't even own a television.

I'm completely baffled as to how Glenn Close beat out Holly Hunter for Best Actress in a Drama Series.

I've said it before, but seriously Emmys. You're dead to me.

2008 Emmy Picks

DRAMA

SERIES:
"Boston Legal (ABC)
"Damages" (FX)
"Dexter" (Showtime)
"House" (FOX)
"Lost" (ABC)
"Mad Men" (AMC)

ACTOR:
James Spader, "Boston Legal"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Gabriel Byrne, "In Treatment"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
Ted Danson, "Damages"
Zeljko Ivanek, "Damages"
Michael Emerson, "Lost"
John Slattery , "Mad Men"

ACTRESS:
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Glenn Close, "Damages"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Holly Hunter, "Saving Grace"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Candice Bergen, "Boston Legal"
Rachel Griffiths, "Bothers & Sisters"
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy"
Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy"
Dianne Wiest, "In Treatment"

COMEDY

SERIES:
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" (HBO)
"Entourage" (HBO"
"The Office" (NBC)
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS)

ACTOR:
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Lee Pace, "Pushing Daisies"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office"
John Cryer, "Two and a Half Men"

ACTRESS:
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who"?
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Kristin Chenoweth, "Pushing Daisies"
Jean Smart, "Samantha Who?"
Amy Poehler, "Saturday Night Live"
Holland Taylor, "Two and Half Men"
Vanessa Williams, "Ugly Betty"

OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES:
"Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Real Time With Bill Maher" (HBO)
"Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
"The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central)
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)

REALITY

OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM:
"Antiques Roadshow" (PBS)
"Dirty Jobs" (Discovery)
"Extreme Makeover Home Edition" (ABC)
"Intervention" (A&E)
"Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" (Bravo)

OUTSTANDING REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
"American Idol" (FOX)
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC)
"Project Runway" (Bravo)
"The Amazing Race" (CBS)
"Top Chef" (Bravo

Fall TV Premieres

It’s that time of year... So in case you call within the next month or two and want to know why I don’t answer the phone this is what I’m watching:

Sept 1 – "Gossip Girl" Love it! Soapy, trashy fun! Leighton Meester is brilliant. “Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here.” XOXO

Sept 1 – "One Tree Hill" More soapy, trashy fun. I’m addicted to this silly mess. I just can’t help myself. I am a 13 year-old at heart.

Sept 2 – "90210" I’m still on the fence. I watched the original, but never loved it. And I’m bummed Tori Spelling won’t be joining the cast.

Sept 3 – "Bones" This show is improving all the time, and it’s the only way to satisfy my embarrassing Boreanaz adoration.

Sept 7 – "True Blood" Vampires! HBO! Anna Paquin! What more do you need to know?

Sept 9 – "Fringe" Newest series from “Alias” and “Lost” creator JJ Abrams, so I’m all over it. Bonus? Pacey!

Sept 22 – "Heroes" Season 2 bit it, but part of that could be blamed on the writer’s strike. I have higher hopes for season 3.

Sep 25 – "My Name is Earl" They really lost me last season when Earl was in a coma. It just went on FOREVER, but I simply can’t wait to hear what awful thing they make Jaime Pressly say next.

Sept 25 – "The Office" Jan is pregnant! Jim almost proposed! Andy did propose! Angela made out with Dwight! Dude, this is better than "One Tree Hill".

Sept 29 – "Chuck" Another show that gets better all the time, plus Bruce Boxleitner has been cast as Captain Awesome’s dad! Oh, and Adam Baldwin = yum. It doesn’t get much better.

Oct 1 – "Pushing Daisies" There’s been a lot of talk about the network forcing the show to be less quirky, which would be a real blow. Since the damn show is supposed to be quirky. (12, count them, 12 Emmy nominations.) This is what I’ll be watching on my birthday.

Oct 6 – "Samantha Who" This show doesn’t get me that excited, but it’s mostly reliably funny.

Oct 9 – "Kath & Kim" The early reviews for this one are BAD, but Molly Shannon and Selma Blair sounds so promising.

Oct 30 – "30 Rock" Flerg.

Best. Show. Ever. Remember?

Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas talk 'Veronica Mars' Movie

and then:

A ‘Veronica Mars’ Movie Is a Lousy Idea

Why must you hurt me New York Magazine?

Emmy Nominations

It's official. Holly Hunter has been nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series for "Saving Grace". Everyone else? Might as well stay home.

Wanted: Shallow, TV and junk food addicted BFF

• If you cry like a baby at episodes of "One Tree Hill"...
• If you are desperately in need of a pedicure...
• If you still love Hole...
• If you wonder why the kids on "Gossip Girl" disparage the '90's but then wear Alice bands without a hint of irony...
• If you consider Honey BBQ Fritos and a Slurpee to be a complete lunch...
• If you miss "My So-Called Life", "Veronica Mars", and "Deadwood" on an appallingly regular basis...
• If you have a "What would Buffy do?" bumpersticker...
• If you plan to be at the theater on Dec. 12 (possibly calling in sick to work) to see the premiere of Twilight with all the other 13 year-old fangirls...
• If you can eat your weight in chocolate chip cookies...
• If you have Robin Hood Prince of Thieves currently sitting on your DVR...
• If you have your next three tattoos picked out, but don't know where to put them...
• If you have a spare ticket to the New Kids on the Block show in San Antonio...

Then we should be best friends.

Did I mention the only movie I saw last year was "Knocked Up"?

Okay, eight out of 12 isn't so bad.

I should have gone with my first instinct and skipped over Atonement for Adapted Screenplay. I still maintain that Sweeney Todd should have won for Costume Design. Elizabeth: The Golden Age was very elaborate of course, but haven't we been there, done that? Sweeney Todd was far more creative.

Right before Oscar weekend, I started to hear things about Marion Cotillard in La Vie en Rose, but I dismissed it. Who could have forseen a big win for a subtitled performance? And then Tilda Swinton? For real? She had to have been the least favored in that category. Someone won a lot of money on that bet, but it sure wasn't me.

2008 Oscar Picks

No money will be changing hands. This year is simply too easy. Not like last year when I couldn't pick Best Picture for the life of me. The only categories I don't feel really confident about this time around are Best Documentary and Adapted Screenplay. And really? Nobody cares about those categories except the nominees. No Country for Old Men seems a shoe-in for Adapted Screenplay, but I feel like the Academy will want to show Atonement some love somewhere. And I have to sort of disagree with Ebert again.

"My heart cries out "Juno! Juno! Juno!," but my brain dashes a pail of cold water and sternly corrects me: "No Country for Old Men." To be sure, "There Will Be Blood" cleaned up a lot of the year-end critics' prizes, but is a little too dark and odd for the academy. "Atonement" and "Michael Clayton" are excellent, but don't have the buzz. Dark horse: "Juno," because the Academy may go for an upbeat audience pleaser. Besides, according to me, it really is the best film of the year. "

Juno will not be winning Best Picture. They're this year's Little Miss Sunshine. Universally beloved, but too feel good for the Academy's highest honor.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Julie Christie, Away from Her

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Ruby Dee, American Gangster

Best animated feature film of the year
Ratatouille

Achievement in cinematography
There Will Be Blood

Achievement in costume design
Sweeney Todd

Achievement in directing
Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men

Best documentary feature
Taxi to the Dark Side

Adapted screenplay
Christopher Hampton, Atonement

Original screenplay
Diablo Cody, Juno

Best motion picture of the year
No Country for Old Men

Apparently I suck at Emmy betting.

So I had an off year.

The only categories I called correctly were Best Drama, and Best Actress and Supporting Actress in a comedy series. Oh, and Best Variety, Music or Comedy Series.

So four out of 12 isn't very impressive. But can you blame me? Who'd have thought they'd give it to James Spader AGAIN? I'm not a "Sopranos" fan, but even I knew it was Gandolfini's year. And Ricky Gervais and Jeremy Piven? Based on the insane "Deadwood" snubbing, I wast starting to assume the Academy is too cheap to foot the bill for HBO.

Testing My Emmy Luck

The Emmys are on Sunday, September 16. So I'll see if I can repeat my Oscar success.

DRAMA

SERIES:
"Boston Legal" (ABC)
"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
"Heroes" (NBC)
"House" (Fox)
"The Sopranos" (HBO)

ACTOR:
James Spader, "Boston Legal"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Denis Leary, "Rescue Me"
James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos"
Kiefer Sutherland, "24"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
T.R. Knight, "Grey's Anatomy"
Masi Oka, "Heroes"
Michael Emerson, "Lost"
Terry O'Quinn, "Lost"
Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos"

ACTRESS:
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Patricia Arquette, "Medium"
Minnie Driver, "The Riches"
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters"
Katherine Heigl, "Grey's Anatomy"
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy"
Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy"
Aida Turturro, "The Sopranos"
Lorraine Bracco, "The Sopranos"

COMEDY

SERIES:
"Entourage" (HBO)
"The Office" (NBC)
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS)
"Ugly Betty" (ABC)

ACTOR:
Ricky Gervais, "Extras"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office"
Jon Cryer, "Two and a Half Men"

ACTRESS:
Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl"
Jenna Fischer, "The Office"
Holland Taylor, "Two and a Half Men"
Conchata Ferrell, "Two and a Half Men"
Vanessa Williams, "Ugly Betty"
Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds"

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY PROGRAM

SERIES:
"The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central)
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)
"Late Night With Conan O'Brien" (NBC)
"Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Real Time With Bill Maher" (HBO)

REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM:
"The Amazing Race" (CBS)
"American Idol" (Fox)
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC)
"Project Runway" (Bravo)
"Top Chef" (Bravo)

As you can tell by the steam coming out of my ears, Emmy nominations are out.

Okay, does the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences even watch the shows they nominate? Seriously. Because I'm convinced that they don't. Or if they do, they have even worse taste than the people who keep "American Idol" and "Survivor" on the air.

Does "The Sopranos" really need even more accolades heaped on them? While "Deadwood" and "Studio 60" receive no critical nominations? I can't even fathom how that happened. There's never been a better show than "Deadwood".

Shameful.

I hope Ian McShane kicks all their asses. While Bradley Whitford mocks them savagely.

Edited to add: Oh yeah! And Lauren Graham, Kristin Bell and "Lost" too! Damned Emmy voters.