August 08, 2005

plagiarized

Some 13 year-old girl in Washington ganked several of my entries and posted them on her blog-with minor edits, and you know, less punctuation, capitalization, and correct spelling. Here, here, and oh, here. Should I be flattered or offended? Am I now providing memes to the tweens and didn't even know it? Crap, now I just granted her profile request "oh ya tell your friends bout this site ASAP:) ".

Updated 8/15/05 to add: The child has changed her blog URL twice now in an effort to hide. She also deleted most of the entries she copied, which was actually a smart choice on her part. She must have had help coming up with the idea. Her blog has now moved to here. Oh, and I'm a slut! Who knew? My husband was somewhat surprised to hear this. And since she's changing her URL at the rate of four a day, here's the entry devoted to me:

"Don't go here
if i were you i would not go to queenkandis.blogspot.com
because she is a slut and she doesn't think straight and she thinks i have been
stealing her posts so really people do NOT go there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I don't really approve of people eating fruit in my presence.

August 05, 2005

Agent 28 at your service.

My current job is the longest I've ever worked in one place, not counting summer camp. I've worked at this company since we were less than a hundred people on one floor of our office building. We now have nearly 230 people, and occupy two floors of our building. The entire time I've had a name plaque on my cube wall, with a little plaque under it that now says 'Two Years of Service' (it'll be three years next month). And today, the new upstairs secretary came around and taped numbers to all of our cubes. After three years of service, I'm now "28". Awesome. I always wanted to be just a number.

Heard any good jokes lately?

I am dying to see The Aristocrats! The movie is one historically secret dirty joke told over and over again by about 100 of the best comedians around. However, the movie (now open in LA and New York) doesn't come to Austin until August 26th. It could be worse, we could be Vermont, which gets the movie in October. What's up with that? Is there only one copy of the film that is just being passed around the country via Pony Express?

August 04, 2005

My Old Man

Today is Rob's 30th birthday. Tonight he gets to pick the restaurant for his birthday dinner, gets Strawberry Shortcake for dessert (his request), and will get to open his birthday presents. Which he'd better like. (He's hard to shop for because he doesn't have a four page Amazon wishlist, like some people...) This weekend he gets a small birthday party with some family and friends, complete with BBQ, cake, and the beer of his choice. Spoiled kid.

This morning, he left to catch the bus to work wearing jeans and a baseball cap. It must not be too awful to be 30.

August 02, 2005

Things I Just Don’t Understand:

  1. Algebra
  2. Any of the current dance themed reality shows
  3. The appeal of Mischa Barton
  4. The $2 bill
  5. What we did so horribly wrong to deserve Paris Hilton
  6. How cold sores know the perfect inopportune moment to appear
  7. Mary-Kate Olsen’s bag lady fashion style
  8. Wasabi flavored chips
  9. Clay Aiken
  10. Twinkies (there's no chocolate, so what's the point?)

July 27, 2005

100 Things About Me


  1. I was born in Bremerton Washington, but we moved when I was two years old, so I remember nothing about it.

  2. I once broke my left foot by falling down three steps.

  3. Daisies are my favorite flower, followed closely by tulips.

  4. I wanted to play the cello in middle school, but joined the choir instead.

  5. I am a terrible singer.

  6. I love karaoke.

  7. I consider Hole’s Live Through This to be one of the greatest rock albums of all time.

  8. I don’t believe in astrology, but I am the definition of a Libra.

  9. I wanted to be a broadcast journalist from the sixth grade until sophomore year of college.

  10. I have half of a degree in Anthropology with a minor in mass communications.

  11. I spent nearly four years at Southwest Texas State University, but I’m barely a junior.

  12. I have six tattoos. And there is no end in sight.

  13. Pink is my signature color.

  14. I am frequently barefoot.

  15. I went to summer camp for 14 years from age 6 to age 20.

  16. Some of my favorite authors are: Diana Gabaldon, Nora Roberts, Maya Angelou, and Larry McMurtry.

  17. My birthstone is the opal. Don't buy me one.

  18. I hate dark wood furniture.

  19. I was the president of my high school drama club, the Golden Myth Players.

  20. Scotland is the country I most want to visit.

  21. I am excellent at games that require lots of useless pop culture knowledge.

  22. I own a karaoke machine I’ve never used.

  23. I once won $70 in a casino in Atlantic City. I quit while I was ahead.

  24. The place I got married at, used to feature a swimming pig named Ralph as its main attraction.

  25. I am obsessed with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Seriously, ask me anything.

  26. I don’t know how to program my VCR.

  27. I like dragonflies and have received an absurd number of dragonfly themed gifts.

  28. I own over 20 pairs of flip flops.

  29. Baking homemade chocolate chip cookies is my only talent.

  30. I’m a notorious plant killer.

  31. In college, I frequently stayed up all night chatting online.

  32. I’ve had the chicken pox twice.

  33. When I was nine-years-old, I received a horse for Christmas.

  34. I’m afraid of horses.

  35. I once fainted on a horse.

  36. I’m a graduate of Lanier High School in Austin, Texas. Class of 1996.

  37. I went to eleven schools from kindergarten to 12th grade.

  38. I was raised Unitarian and still consider myself to be one.

  39. I’m a television addict.

  40. Not only do I watch a lot of TV, I read about TV shows and blog about TV shows.

  41. In the first election I was able to vote, I voted for Bill Clinton.

  42. I frequently read the same book over and over again. Including Lonesome Dove and The Stand, both over 900 pages.

  43. I am unable to sleep without a night light.

  44. I don’t know my weight because I refuse to weigh myself or look at the scale at the doctor’s office.

  45. The Dixie Chicks are my favorite band.

  46. My favorite video game is Oregon Trail.

  47. Cheese fries from Outback Steakhouse and pepperoni rolls from Double Dave’s are two of my favorite foods on the planet.

  48. I have two siblings: a brother that's three years older (Jason Robnett, where have you disappeared to?) and a sister that's 23 years younger.

  49. The first concert I ever went to was Grateful Dead in 1985. I don’t remember if I wore tie dye.

  50. I appeared in seven plays in high school.

  51. I love tanning salons.

  52. I was a latchkey kid.

  53. I was incapable of getting to school on time, and now I am incapable of getting to work on time.

  54. I’ve seen John Prine in concert seven times.

  55. The Immaculate Collection is my favorite Madonna album.

  56. I have Dave Grohl’s autograph.

  57. I love movies, but I never see movies without reading the reviews first.

  58. I love being in charge.

  59. 10 Things I Hate About You is one of my favorite movies and I watch it every time it comes on TV, even though I own it on DVD.

  60. I never leave home without makeup on, even if I’m just going swimming.

  61. I collect shot glasses.

  62. I was voted Class Whiner by my senior class in high school.

  63. I don’t believe in the Atkins Diet. We’re supposed to eat grains. Trust me, I have half of an Anthropology degree.

  64. I’ve never been further west than Texas (except for the two years in Bremerton I don’t remember).

  65. If left alone, I can sleep at least ten hours a night.

  66. I am incapable of understanding algebra, and don’t care to.

  67. Concerts I’ve seen: Grateful Dead, John Prine, Shug Mauldin, New Kids on the Block (twice!), Reba McEntire, Tool, Cracker, Nine Inch Nails, Hole, Aerosmith, Foo Fighters, Barenaked Ladies, Dixie Chicks, Todd Snider (twice!), Dolly Parton, and once crashed the gates to see Smashing Pumpkins do their encore (thanks Jimmy!)

  68. I want a new green Volkswagen beetle with a sunroof so bad that I can’t stand it.

  69. I’m addicted to shopping online.

  70. I love Impressionist art and Auguste Renoir is my favorite artist.

  71. I met my husband online in a WBS chat room that no longer exists.

  72. In elementary, middle school, and high school, teachers frequently moved me away from my friends for talking too much.

  73. I own Heathers, a red scrunchie, and a Swatch watch.

  74. My son Cooper was born on April 17, 2007. Cutest. Kid. Ever.

  75. Mexico is the only country I’ve been to outside the U.S.

  76. I love the J. Peterman catalogue.

  77. I’ve been to many midnight theater showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  78. I can’t dance, and you shouldn’t ask me to.

  79. If I had a million dollars, I would do nothing.

  80. I wish I didn’t hate exercise.

  81. I don’t drink coffee for breakfast, I drink Dr. Pepper. I picked up this habit from my mother.

  82. The smell of oranges makes me nauseous and always has.

  83. I got my ear pierced at an Aerosmith concert on my 17th birthday.

  84. I love puppies, but don't actually want to raise one.

  85. For my P.E. credit in high school, I took bowling by correspondence.

  86. I love carnivals, but not roller coasters.

  87. I was raised by a single mom.

  88. It’s really important to me to be as fair and non-judgmental as possible

  89. If you drive a Hummer, I think you're a dumbass.

  90. I love baseball movies, but not baseball.

  91. I wish I had the body that I had when I was 17. Who doesn’t?

  92. My birthday depresses me because it never lives up to my expectations.

  93. I’ve known almost all of my current friends since college or longer.

  94. I don’t know my blood type

  95. No one else thinks I’m as funny as I do.

  96. I have one cat: Moe. He's a de-clawed indoor cat. He doesn't seem to hate us for that.

  97. I miss the "X-Files".

  98. I love Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. Got any?

  99. I don’t know my IQ, but I like to pretend that it’s really high.

  100. I am apparently very self absorbed.


Updated 12/01/11

I am a LiveJournal deserter.

Who doesn't want to be taken seriously? And sadly, I am no longer a teenybopper who writes really bad poetry about the president of the high school drama club. In other words, I just don't fit in. So I'm moving my kingdom (and possibly my archives at a later date) to Blogger.
Currently previous post archives can be accessed at I Can Kick Your Ass at Trivial Pursuit (LiveJournal version).

July 14, 2005

Stodgy Idiots - TV Edition

Dear crack smoking Emmy members-

What is your damage?

15 nominations for "Desperate Housewives" but only 11 for "Deadwood"?

Three "Housewives" nominated for best actress but no women from "Deadwood"?

And "Medium" isn't bad at all, but Patricia Arquette? For best dramatic actress? Really? She's no Calamity Jane.

And The "The West Wing"? C'mon! That show hasn't been good since Sam and Sorkin left. Sure it has the best cast this side of 1877, but the writers are killing them.

"Everybody Loves Raymond"? Why must you beat dead horses with gold statues?

And to top it off, you completely snub "Gilmore girls", "Nip/Tuck", and "Veronica Mars", three of the best shows on television.

I think I hate you.

Sincerely-

Kandis

July 12, 2005

Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.

Survey finds average U.S. worker spends two hours a day surfing the Web, running errands or staring into space.

Office Space has been out since 1994 and they're just now figuring this out?

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation?

By the way, I disagree with the results of that survery (as I write this from work).

July 11, 2005

7/11

Happy Birthday to the slurpee! Free slurpees for one and all.

Our new red sofa was delivered over the weekend. Pictures to come. We hung new bathroom fixtures in our upstairs guest bath, re-arranged our bedroom and our hanging pictures. AND I made dinner twice in one weekend, which is like, unheard of. Oh, and we forgot Brian's birthday, cause we suck. I'm tired.

Edited to add:

July 01, 2005

"Hi. My name is Jin and I'm a net addict. It's been 23 days since my last chat."

Where was this clinic when I was a chat addicted college student? I might have actually graduated if I'd gotten some electric shock therapy.


Bejing Cinic Administers to Online Addicts

June 24, 2005

Speaking of unbalanced...

From E! Online:


Tom Cruise telling Today host Matt Lauer during a Friday interview that Brooke Shields "doesn't understand" the history of psychiatry and that there is no such thing as a "chemical unbalance." The actor also expressed his belief that "vitamins and exercise" can cure most problems.


Would someone please unleash a bipolar homicidal maniac on him already? Crazy Cruise could ply him with some One-a-Days and see how that goes?

June 16, 2005

Pimp My House?

Today when Rob was trying to lower the garage door, it came off it's tracks. And then when he tried to muscle it back on the tracks, the door itself started to break apart. So we paid $150 for a guy to come over, give us an estimate, tell us our door and it's pre-1991 automatic opener are basically dangerous and worthless. At least he secured the door for the night (although several of the panels are hanging askew). Tomorrow we get to pay him a small fortune to replace the entire door and it's assorted tracks and springs and such. We then won't be able to afford a new garage door opener for a while. As it is we really can't even afford to add the optional four windows to the door, but we're doing it anyway. It looks so bland without them.


And don't even getting me started on our fence...


Home ownership sucks.

June 09, 2005

There's a chick in my office who will not stop laughing at her desk. Apparently she never got the memo about how when you're IMing instead of working, you should try to be discreet.

Pssst

This is the most moving thing I've seen recently. Got a secret? I wish I was this artistic. Or you know, had a secret.
Crazy Cruise must be stopped. Free Katie!

June 08, 2005

Animal Farm

This Barn Swallow has made herself at home on our front porch.



I made Rob stand on the step ladder to find out what she's got in there. Looks like sometime soon, we'll have five other Barn Swallows on our front porch.



And this is Millie. She's a two year old chocolate lab who joined our family last weekend. We got her from one of my coworkers who has two kids and two dogs and didn't feel like she had the time to spend with all of them. Millie is very eager to please and loves people. She follows Rob around all day long.


June 03, 2005

And the birthday countdown begins.

I am now in possession of four center orchestra seats for the John Prine concert at the Majestic Theatre in Dallas on September 24th (one week before my birthday)!


Guess that means we won't be going to ACL Fest since it's the same weekend. ACL Fest would be fun, but the Majestic is air conditioned. Not a tough choice for September in Texas. Only four months away!

May 25, 2005

Have some pride Aileen Wuornos.

The following is an IM conversation we had at work while eavesdropping on our new trainwreck of an employee who we've uncharitably dubbed Aileen Wuornos. The woman spends half of her day making personal phone calls, and she's so indiscrete about it that all of us around her now know way more than we'd prefer to about her life, her deadbeat ex who has custody of her kids but lives with his mom, her court dates, police reports, the fact that she has nowhere to live, no car, and unpaid utilities. Every day she gives me more to add to my ongoing list of the Top 100 Things I Wouldn't Want My Co-workers to Know About Me. And yeah, we're mean.

Scott says:
what is the point of this conversation?

Kandis says:
I'm loving her description "it still hadn't showed up"

Scott says:
yeah

Kandis says:
the point is blaming the city transit system for an entire day of missed work because her life is such a mess she has no car

Scott says:
this is tragic

Scott says:
lol

Kandis says:
I can't believe she is spending THIS long on the phone with Capitol Metro

Kandis says:
don't they have work to do too?

Scott says:
this is going around in circles!

Scott says:
no kidding!

Scott says:
this is hilarious

Scott says:
isn't there a question on the application about reliable transportation?

Scott says:
is taking the bus to B.F.E. reliable?

Kandis says:
I don't know if there is a question

Kandis says:
they can't discriminate against white trash Americans

Scott says:
lol

Scott says:
is she getting documentation that the bus didn't show?

Kandis says:
yep

Kandis says:
as if that will excuse her

Scott says:
oh man

Scott says:
if it's not one thing, it's another

Kandis says:
her whole life is a mess

Scott says:
yep

Scott says:
except she has this bitchin' job

Kandis says:
which she might keep if she ever learns to stay off the phone

Scott says:
hahaha

Scott says:
of course, she doesn't have a cel

Kandis says:
dude, she barely has a sofa to sleep on and shoes on her feet

May 06, 2005

Yes I Guess They Oughta Name a Drink After You

Holy crap! John Prine is coming to ACL Fest! Can I just tell you how beyond thrilled I am? So far they've just released the artist lineup and have three day passes on sale. But last time Rob and I went to ACL Fest (2003) we didn't even make it through an entire day, therefore, three days is out of the question. So they need to hurry, hurry, hurry and release the schedule and the one day passes. Who else wants to go?

May 03, 2005

I've already used up all but one of my sick days. I'm also kinda broke until Friday. And, I know for a fact that if I came face to face with Bill Clinton, I would cry like a basketcase. But if all of those things weren't true, I'd be at Book People on Thursday. Anyone who wants to be my new best friend can feel free to pick up a signed copy for my birthday (which is only five months away.)


President William Jefferson Clinton will be signing his memoir, MY LIFE at BookPeople, Publisher Weekly’s Bookseller of the Year, on Thursday May 5, starting at 10 am.

April 29, 2005

so, so busy- here's why

Things I'm obsessed with and won't shut-up about:


Things I'm so damned tired of hearing about:

  • Paris Hilton
  • Lindsey Lohan
  • Norah Jones
  • The demise of Nick and Jessica
  • That damn mystery island on "Days of Our Lives"
  • Chihuahuas
  • Trilogy work orders (don’t ask)
  • No carb/low carb (for God’s sake people, it’s just bread)

April 12, 2005

If I had $160 to blow on anything? I would buy a pink and black tankini with coordinating board shorts from Eddie Bauer. Cause I am just that shallow.

April 04, 2005

Tell me what you don't like about yourself Chris Gaines.

Team-

I have to start that way, because that's how I start every email at work these days, and it's a crazy tough habit to break. I've been thinking in the last week that I miss Garth Brooks. Yeah, I said it. I am a Garth Brooks fan. I celebrate his entire catalogue. And I just wish he still made music.

And on the subject of people who've dropped off the face of the Earth, Julie Warner should really get more work. She was fantastic on Nip/Tuck. Luckily she didn't have to share much screen time with Julian McMahon, because he's so pretty that no one would have noticed she was in the scene too. But she was seriously very good. Rocket Man will never be the same.

April 01, 2005

The Liberal Agenda, One Year Later

Happy Birthday Air America! Now kick Randi Rhodes to the curb and you'll be golden.

March 03, 2005

Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

Dear America,

There's just something about your Chevy Avalanches, your Tahoes, your Ford F-150s and God forbid, your Hummers. There's something about the great big hulking size of them that just says you don't give a shit about your fellow man. Something about the way they dwarf my four door sedan, the way they spill out of your compact parking space, preventing me from even opening my door. The way they completely obstruct all visibility when we're both pulling out of the same parking lot. There's something about the careless way your vehicle with it's flag decal barrels down the highway at 14 miles per gallon, while the ozone melts away and we fight wars over oil. And the way you pilot that urban assault vehicle while talking on your cell phone and watching a DVD with such impressive disregard for the safety of others? Well, it speaks volumes about your character. Your vehicle says a lot about you America. Don't let yours say that you're an asshole.

Love,

Kandis

March 02, 2005

If I put a sofa on my wishlist, would anybody buy it?

The appraisal went well! So everything seems to be on track for closing on March 11th (which is when Rob's parents will be down for a visit). And I think the house actually has NINE closets! But I've only seen the inside twice, so it's hard to remember for sure. I don't know how I'm going to be able to wait until March 18th to move. I'm dying to explore the house at my leisure, without a realtor following us around in case we have questions. We have a super nice realtor, but I still want to wander around the house without having to worry about inconveniencing anyone. And there's a whole list of stuff I'm wanting to buy to make the house perfect: refrigerator, queen mattress, new bed frame for queen mattress, new nightstands, table lamps, console table, microwave cart, pots and pans, and one day, a red sofa. Yeah, I said red. What's it to you? But of course all that stuff costs a lot of money, so we'll buy little pieces here and there. I can't wait!

February 24, 2005

get your kumbyayas out

Last Saturday night, Rob and I went to a midnight showing of the Buffy episode "Once More with Feeling", which proceeded a showing of the much less exciting episode, "The Zeppo" at the Alamo Drafthouse downtown. The show was billed as a sing-a-long and all of the songs in the episode were subtitled (as if we didn't all have them memorized?), so sure enough we all sang along, blew bubbles, threw underwear, yelled at the screen, watched a dancing bunny, and held hands and swayed. And yes, it sounds very Rocky Horror-esque. And having spent my fair share of time doing the Time Warp, I can tell you it was different. And it was so great to be in a sold out theater, drinking beer, and singing with 200 people who are possibly more Buffy obsessed than I am. The Alamo plans to hold the event again, but Rob has already put in an obligatory appearance, so... anyone else up for it?

We're hoping to hear how our house appraisal went by tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that it appraises for the amount of our loan, otherwise, bye-bye awesome house.

February 16, 2005

Where have you gone Rob Lowe?

Remember when "The West Wing" was good? Really good? Remember when it could make you tear up at Sam's shear idealism? Remember when the President cursed God in Latin for taking Mrs. Landingham and nearly made the walls of the Washington National Cathedral come tumbling down? And when Charlie received a Thanksgiving carving knife? Remember when Toby didn't know that babies came with hats? And when Ainsley Hayes could be brought to tears by HMS Pinafore? Remember when the streets of Heaven were crowded with too many angels? Now the show couldn't be any more boring. The writing is flat and lacking in cleverness, and nothing seems to happen anymore. They've all lost that great sense of wonderment and duty and purpose that made the first years so special. It's just so frustrating. Can somebody just wake me up when Josh and Donna finally get it on?

February 15, 2005

ode to a closet...

After some haggling, our offer was accepted. We close on our house March 11! And yes, they made us their bitches. Now we just have to get all the documents together for our lender, pay for a survey and appraisal, and pray that the house appraises for what we're paying for it. Then Rob's parents are coming to visit in the midst of closing and our chaotic packing, so they won't be seeing our apartment at it's best. But they will get to see our four bedroom, eight closet (I'm in love with the closets) house before we pack it with furniture and assorted stuff with dragonflies on it. Yay!

February 10, 2005

back off

The account I'm on at work took 87 inbound phone calls before 5pm yesterday, and 22 of them were taken by me. And then, after a day like that, I go home and zombie out in front of the television. (Lost rocks!) Is it any wonder why I haven't blogged?

Rob and I put in an offer on a four bedroom house in North Austin on Saturday. It has high ceilings and pergo flooring in the living room and EIGHT closets. We want it so bad that we can't stand it, but the seller (it's owned by a family trust based in San Diego. The hell? Yeah, we know.) is in Africa until Saturday. Which gives everyone in town plenty of time to outbid us on our house. It's agonizing to wait and not know. We went to look at the house a second time last night with the realtor and measured rooms. Three bathrooms! New counters! Fireplace! I have no idea how we will handle it if we can't have that house.

January 11, 2005

We're going to South Carolina and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and ...the DNC!

"As I have traveled across our country, I have talked to thousands of people who are working for change in their own communities about the power of politics to make a difference in their own lives and in the lives of others. Every group I have spoken to, I encouraged them to stand up for what they believe and to get involved in the electoral process -- because the only sure way to make difference is to step up and run for office yourself.

Today, I'm announcing my candidacy for the Chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee."

-Howard Dean, M.D.

January 07, 2005

embrace it

From Slate:

Fat may be a worldwide phenomenon—and increasingly so—but not everyone is neurotic about it, or they're not neurotic in the same way. Take the chapter by anthropologist Rebecca Popenoe (from: Fat: The Anthropology of an Obsession), based on her fieldwork among desert Arabs in Niger. This is a society with no media influences or beauty industries, where women strive to be as fat as possible. Girls are force-fed to achieve this ideal; stretch marks are regarded as beautiful.

Awesome! In Niger, I am stunning.

January 06, 2005

Me, me, me

Haven't posted in a while, took a week off for Christmas, been super busy at work and I don't know... not in the mood? So here's some fluff.


Three Names You Go By: Kandis, Kandi, Ally and Canned-Ice. And yeah, I can count to three, I just chose not to.

Three Screennames You Have: Queen Kandis, secula_seculorum, Miss World

Three Things You Like About Yourself: I’m so damned smart. I make great chocolate chip cookies. And I’m super modest.

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: It’s possible that I whine a smidge too much. I could maybe not talk quite so much during movies or TV shows. And maybe I should think of a third thing that isn’t that great about me?

Three Parts of Your Heritage: Dude. My family has been in Texas for over five generations. We can’t remember where we came from. We’re European-American mutts like everyone else.

Three Things That Scare You: Pod-like things, apartment fires, and Dubya.

Three of Your Everyday Essentials: Email, checking all of the usual blogs I read, and makeup.

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: Baby blue hooded sweater, jeans, brown Doc Marten maryjanes. Don’t judge, it’s cold out.

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment): Barenaked Ladies (Barenaked for the Holidays rocks), Dixie Chicks, and Loretta Lynn (I got Van Lear Rose for Christmas).

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present: Hard Candy Christmas (shut up), the Carole King theme from Gilmore Girls (since I watch it every day), and that’s all I can think of. I guess I’m not much of a music person.

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: Buying a house, keeping a plant alive, and I’m still in pursuit of professional photographs of Rob and I that I actually like. (Guess I’ll have to wait for my braces to come off in May for that one.)

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given): Trust, common idea of fun, presents.

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex That Appeal to You: Tallness, tennis ball head, giant feet.

Three Things You Just Can't Do: Exercise, juggle, speak French.

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies: Reading, watching and critiquing TV, online shopping.

Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now: Buy a house, be magically slim, beat someone about the head if the work ice machine doesn’t get fixed TODAY.

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation: Scotland, Hawaii, Las Vegas. I’m sure I’ll get over the Vegas thing once I’ve seen it.

Three Kids' Names: Jennyfivetina, Abraham and Buffy

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die: See all of Europe, build my dream home, finish my degree.

Ganked from: Life at the Center of the Universe

tardiness

Okay, so yesterday was De-Lurking Day and as usual I'm late. I have no idea if there are any blurkers around these parts, because I have no clue how to read my site stats, or if livejournal even tracks that kind of stuff (which is I guess why I'm a livejournaler and not a Movable Type-head). More work for Six Apart.

So anyway, if you stumble over here, a comment would be cool.

December 24, 2004

the bossiest reindeer of all

I've wrapped presents, made cookies, played Christmas carols, and now I'm going to go curl up and enjoy our fire. Hey you! Yeah, you, dumbass. Get off the computer and go enjoy Christmas!

December 23, 2004

true story

The Real World To Be Taped In Austin

Dec 22, 2004 5:07 pm US/Central
The MTV series that ushered in reality television will land in Austin next month -- for the 16th edition of "The Real World". The 24 episodes will air starting in June. The show brings together seven strangers between the ages of 18 and 24 to live in a swank loft or house and films them around the clock, at home and on the town. Past locations include Los Angeles, Chicago and Paris. Mayor Will Wynn says Austin is the smallest city to host a "Real World" cast. The site in Austin wasn't disclosed. "The Real World" has been a hit since its 1992 debut season, which was set in New York City. It's M-T-V's longest-running series. Murray would not say where the house is either, but did say, "They will have very cool digs."

December 10, 2004

If I haven't returned your call...

Shows that I am watching with a crazy person’s fervor:
Lost
Gilmore Girls
One Tree Hill
The Apprentice 2
Significant Others
And yes I will totally watch a Buffy rerun I've seen a million times, any time it's on.

Shows that I keep watching for unknown reasons:
ER
Days of Our Lives
Real World: Philadelphia
Wife Swap/Trading Spouses (these are essentially the same show)
West Wing
NYPD Blue

Shows that have me counting the days until their return:
Nip/Tuck
Deadwood
Carnivale (Jan. 9! Woohoo!)
Newlyweds

December 09, 2004

update

Last weekend was my work holiday party at the new downtown Austin Hilton. The place was nice and we got a discounted room rate for the night. The party itself was pleasant enough. It's weird to be sociable with coworkers outside of work. It takes lots of alcohol to make it go smoothly. My company provided us with dinner, a cover band, dancing, and two free drink tickets each. Once we ran out of drink tickets, a Bud Light cost $4.25. Ouch. We had planned for months to go out to Sixth Street after the party since we already had parking space and a room so it was extra convenient. But I had a cold and my meds wore off and I was ready to pass out. We got up early the next morning due to the pleasant sound of jack hammers outside the hotel window at the building site next door. So we got up, checked out, and went out for breakfast- which I always want to do but am usually too lazy to bother on the weekends. Then we went home and went back to sleep. Nobody parties like us.

I have gotten the tiniest amount of Christmas shopping done. I've gotten half of Rob's presents, his mom's, his brother's, his grandmother's and that's it. I haven't gotten anything for my family yet, and haven't a clue what to get for my sister. Her birthday party is this weekend. She's four! And impossible to shop for, cause I swear she has everything.

The Armadillo Christmas Bazaar starts this weekend. Hurray! Last year we went on the last night, Christmas Eve, which was a mistake because some of the booths were already closed and packed up, and I'd already finished all my shopping by that point. The Bazaar is one of my favorite Christmas things. All sorts of really talented artists and craftsmen have booths set up with all kinds of great things to buy from handmade gemstone jewelry, prints, vintage concert posters, handmade hammocks and soaps and nightlights... All sorts of crazy stuff, as well as live music every night and food and drinks for sale. The weekends can get kinda crazy though, so I think this year we're going to try for a week night.

Oh, and before I forget, what is up with Lindsay Lohan getting an album deal? For real. I saw her video on MTV yesterday, and once I got over the shock of MTV playing a music video, I had to cover my ears because that song is rank. And it's painfully obvious that they used all sorts of tricks in the studio to try to cover up the fact that she simply can't sing. So I told one of my coworkers today about the Lindsay album, and he was like "What next? Tara Reid?" But nope, it's worse. Paris Hilton. Stop, stop, stop hurting America girls.

November 17, 2004

Super Size This


Greatest new invention: The Hardee's" Monster Thickburger! My favorite part? Apparently two patties, three slices of cheese, four slices of bacon and mayo weren't enough. The bun is buttered!

Now why don't we have a Hardee's in Texas dammit?

November 12, 2004

"They came untied."

A 59-year-old great-grandmother is pregnant with twins and will deliver next month, three decades after she had her tubes tied. "I started craving grapes and apples, things I don't usually crave. By then I was four months pregnant." The news was even more shocking considering Harris -- the mother of five, grandmother of 14 and great-grandmother of six -- had her tubes tied 33 years ago after the birth of her youngest child. She was divorced years ago from the twins' father, 60-year-old Raymond Harris, a heavy equipment operator. She said they will remarry before the birth.

Note to self: Do not get tubes tied in rural Georgia.


November 10, 2004

Leave Thanksgiving alone.

Yo America! I gotta tell you something. Are you listening? Seriously, this is important. Stop eating and drinking everything put in front of you. Your life is not an uninterrupted episode of Fear Factor.

November 04, 2004

I still blame Florida.

“For my safety, I know he’s the one who’s going to do the job,” retiree Rebecca Lesko said after voting for Bush in Linwood, N.J. “I think (Osama) bin Laden is scared of Bush. That’s why we haven’t been bombed yet.”

Well kids, it's all over. So what will it be? Toronto or Vancouver?

October 29, 2004

My mother was in a bank today when an armed robber came in and told everyone to get down on the floor. When the robber wasn't looking, she and several other people ran out of the bank and called the police. Now most people would consider this a frightening experience. You may hear people say "my life flashed before my eyes". But do you know what my mother says? "I wish I'd been close enough to take him down. He was skinny, I could have taken him."

Six Flags Quality

On October 9th, the fam and I went to Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio. While we were there Rob and I posed for pictures at the Old Time Photo shop. You know, one of those places where they have an assortment of period costumes and props and they’ll take a black and white picture of you for an exorbitant fee? So we posed and they took some pictures. While we were posing, the batteries died in both of the digital cameras belonging to the store. They were also fighting with their printer over a paper jam that occurred on the customer’s photo that was taken before us. The girls working the store then announced that they wouldn’t be able to take any more photos that evening, and asked us to come back in 30 minutes to pick up our photo. So we did, and of course our photo wasn’t ready, due to the previously mentioned paper jam (and yes my mom asked if they had tried resetting the computer). So they offered to mail it to us. I paid for the picture (an 8x10) and provided our mailing address. Yesterday, the package arrives, from Ohio (wtf?). The envelope didn’t have “PHOTOS – PLEASE DO NOT BEND” written anywhere on it, so of course it was bent. So after three weeks, we received two 5x7 photos of a pose we did not choose, complete with some bizarre white spot on both of them making them unsuitable for framing. Gee, thanks for the memories Fiesta Texas.

Kinda not surprising.

"You are Shannon. Stereotypical rich bitch, you prefer working on your tan to helping out the other survivors. You spent a year in France, but you drank more than you spoke with the natives. You eagerly await the arrival of the rescue boat so that you can be whisked back to civilization, where your frivolous pursuits await you. And you wouldn't mind getting away from your brother Boone, 'God's friggin' gift to humanity'."

Which "Lost" Character Are You? Brought to you by Quizilla.

October 24, 2004

Hoedown (Ho down?)

I cannot believe the Ashlee Simpson meltdown we just witnessed on SNL. Her audio tape started playing before she started "singing" and she just totally froze and walked off the stage. Awesome! And then, at the end of the show, during the wrap-up group hug, she blamed her band for playing the wrong song. Priceless.

October 20, 2004

"It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery."

I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I'm still giggling about the bitchslap heard 'round the world.

Jon Stewart (to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on Crossfire: "Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America."

October 19, 2004

Can you say worst "Gilmore Girls" ever? That made "One Tree Hill" look like some finely crafted drama. And what’s up with the obscure Manson Family references? Leslie Van Houten in the season finale and Tex Watson tonight. Did one of the Palladinos just finish that hot best seller of 1974, Helter Skelter?

When Trashy People Preach

I am endlessly entertained by the merciful Christian types who are forever twisting Bible passages to suit their needs and conveniently forgetting the ones that don't. There's one guy at work who's frequently changing his instant messenger screen name to something preachy and offensive (at the work place anyway). Yesterday it was: "strive to treat others better than you treat yourself". And today it's: "don't bring me your tired, your poor, your huddle (sic) masses." Doesn't the irony just kill? But luckily, considering he isn't the Statue of Liberty, I think he's safe from such occurrences.

October 14, 2004

C'mon, you know you want to.

A - Age: 27

B - Band listening to right now: Smug and Smugger, otherwise known as my dueling coworkers

C - Crush: Dude, I’m married.

D - Dad's name: Who cares?

E - Easiest person to talk to: Nicole, especially since she’s out of the country and can’t roll her eyes at me from there.

F - Favorite band at the moment: Dixie Chicks

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Bears. I don’t eat worms, no matter how colorful.

H - Hometown: Austin, Texas

I - Instruments: Voice (nobody said it was a high quality, well tuned instrument)

K - Kids: Does Rob count?

L - Longest car ride ever: From San Marcos, Texas to Palermo, New Jersey. Have you ever noticed how wide Tennessee is??

M - Mom's name: Julia

N - Number of siblings: Two, that I know of.

P - Phobia[s]: I am fearless! Shutup, I so am.

Q - Favorite Quote: Today? “I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft.” -President George W. Bush

R - Reason to smile: flowers, Fall, and bread

S - Song you sang last: “Goodbye Earl” –Dixie Chicks

T - Time you wake up: 6:45am, 6:50am, 6:55am, 7:00am

U - Unknown fact about me: I am an open book! But sometimes, I hold the TV remote with my toes.

V - Vegetable you hate: Cabbage

W - Worst habit: Talking during TV shows and movies? Or the ritual kitten sacrifices? Probably the talking thing.

X - X-rays you've had: teeth, foot, back, stomach

Y - Yummy food: Double Dave’s Peproni Rolls…. And Salt Lick potato salad

Z - Zodiac sign: Libra

Swiped from where or when

October 12, 2004

Fall and Halloweenyness

Things I’m currently excited about:

-Potential cool weather

-Cute cold weather accessories

-Ponchos

-Macaroni and Gilmore Girls (Don’t judge! It’s Tuesday and I’m a creature of habit. Besides, Sebastian Bach singing the theme from The Greatest American Hero? There aren’t even words dude.)

-Wurstfest (November 6th baby!)

-My work holiday party at the Hilton (seriously)

-The hot new Australian guy on One Tree Hill

-Getting my braces off in seven months

-Halloween –even though we’re not dressing up or going anywhere

-Nora Roberts’ new novel: Northern Lights

-The sixth season of Buffy now out on DVD! (complete with the musical episode: “Once More With Feeling”)

-Pumpkin scented candles

-Pumpkin pie

-Halloween candy!

Spoiled and Dissed

You’re dying to know what I got for my birthday, aren’t you? Since I went on and on about how many shopping days were left, and my Amazon wishlist, etc. I got the X Files first season box set, and the Angel fourth season box set, and the Northern Exposure first season box set. Noticing a trend here? I also received The Lost Boys Collector’s Edition DVD, and two books: What Would Buffy Do? The Vampire Slayer as a Spiritual Guide and another book that I wanted so much that the title currently escapes me. I got a cute new pink corduroy purse, a glass train style makeup case from Sephora, a bottle of Ralph Lauren’s Romance perfume, and a cool scarf from Urban Outfitters. And my mom knitted me a great pink poncho that you can see here. Oh! And two beautiful bouquets, balloons, chocolates, a chocolate chip cookie cake, and a decorated cube at work. And yes, I know I’m the most spoiled girl ever. We went to Romeo’s on Barton Springs for dinner, and then out bowling at Showplace Lanes with a few friends. I’m struggling not to disown all the friends who totally dissed me on my birthday. And yeah, that will probably be the last usage of “dissed” ever on this blog.

October 07, 2004

Working just hard enough...

Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't? Don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, alright? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

September 29, 2004

I just have to say it. I love the comedy duo that is Bess Armstrong and Huey Lewis on "One Tree Hill". Just brilliant.

I've been sick for last two days and if I'm still sick on my birthday, I'm going to cry.

September 25, 2004

Consider yourself warned.

Our DVD player decided to break the week that I joined Netflix. We just received our first movies: Mean Girls, Mystic River, and Secondhand Lions. This is the second Apex DVD player to go belly up on us in four years. Bastards. So we'll have to go to Costco tomorrow and see if we can find a cheap replacement that isn't Apex for a change.
The Shawshank Redemption has been re-released in some theaters for it's tenth anniversary. Woohoo!
Five shopping days left until my birthday. Feel free to get me a DVD player. (Our bedroom one is busted too.)

September 17, 2004

Only 14 more shopping days left until my birthday! (Or only about seven days if you're shopping from my Amazon wishlist.)

September 16, 2004

September 16, 2000

Four years ago today, Rob and I (with the generous help of our parents) had a great big party. Lots of beloved friends and family members, from California to New Jersey, came to San Marcos for the weekend to stay up late, eat BBQ, and do the twist with us. I got to wear a long white dress and Rob wore a tuxedo. There were tons of beautiful flowers and candles and presents. Aunt Shug got up and sang for us and our friend Kathleen stood up and said some pretty words. Rob and I agreed, and we were married. Gosh that was fun! Can we do it again?

September 15, 2004

I [heart] eBay

The summer I was sixteen I went to Flipnotics Coffee Space one night with Ben & Jimmy (I don’t remember if John came too). Ben just had to see Herman the German play that night. While Herman was playing, I wandered downstairs to look in the window of the Flipnotics clothing shop (back when they were far less pretentious). And in the window was the most beautiful pair of Barbie pink eight-hole Doc Martens boots that I just had to have or I would die. Well the store wasn’t open at the time, which is probably just as well since I was working at Simon David that summer bagging groceries, and I probably had all of $20 in my pocket. Once I got home I harassed my mother, probably 24 hours a day until she took me back to the store. And when we got there, the precious pink docs were gone. So I got my black eight-hole boots instead (which I still have), a much more practical choice at the time.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon an eBay listing for a pair of pink docs, the only ones available ANYWHERE as far as I can tell, and they’re in my size. And because I have the best husband in the world, Rob decided that even if it meant getting into a vicious bidding war with someone named sphycokitten77, I would have the pink docs as an early birthday present. So here they are, straight from hurricane riddled Florida (thanks Heather!) as they were always meant to be, on my feet.

September 14, 2004

Cube Entertainment

Anybody know where I can get downloads of the "Saturday Night Live" commercials for the lower back tattoo removal cream and the spoof of the 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' ad campaign?

September 08, 2004

What do I have to do to get a red alert around here?

Cheney: Wrong Vote Invites Attack. If you vote for the democrats, the terrorists will kill you.
But wait... who was in power during the last terrorist attack? Oh right.

September 01, 2004

Republicans Take Over the World With Fuzzy Math

From MSNBC:

NEW YORK - The Republican National Convention went up close and personal Tuesday night, hearing the stories of a president agonizing over the awesome consequences of his power and a poor immigrant who conquered the worlds of competitive bodybuilding, show business and politics to become governor of the nation’s largest state.

Except for the part where California is the third largest state.

And later in the article:

Appearing on NBC’s “Today,” Bush was asked Monday whether the war on terrorism was winnable. “I don’t think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that the — those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world,” Bush said.
Bush believes the United States will win the war on terrorism, despite his remarks suggesting it could not be won, White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Tuesday. In his acceptance speech Thursday, the president “will make it crystal clear ... that we will win the war on terrorism by continuing to take the fight to the enemy,” McClellan said.

What he meant was, we can't win the war on "terra", because the Earth is just gonna kick our ass on that one.

August 20, 2004

This is who we should have invited to Rob's party to finish off the beer: Bear guzzles 36 beers, passes out at campground.

KEYE News: Making 5:45am local sportscasts safe for the kiddos.

Expletive costs KEYE sports anchor his job (subscription required). So two people lost their job over an ‘F bomb’ that likely no one heard? Priorities people. And good luck Andy.

Updated 9/2/04 at 4:55am: Livejournal comment from Jason: KEYE has hired Andy back after realizing how retarded they were.

August 18, 2004

Sometimes I do work at work. This isn't one of those times.

Stumbled upon a really entertaining blog written by a woman in L.A. The initial posts were so funny that I went back and read all of her previous entries. And also, cause I'm obsessive like that. Anyway, really good stuff, and now she's moving to Austin, so I look forward to an outsider's take on our oddities. She's already experienced the horror that is H.E.B., so she's had her trial by fire. Check her out if you get a chance, and good luck in grad school Angry Bridesmaid.

Remembering the Gross Times

In case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday (42 shopping days left): Return of the Garbage Pail Kids!

poor pathetic me

I finished Visions in Death last night. It's book number 20 of the In Death Series by J.D. Robb (aka Nora Roberts). I keep trying to convince people to read the series so that I have someone to talk to about them. The only other person I know who reads them is seriously annoying. So now that I've finished that one, I have nothing to read except Hillary's biography, which I've been shamefully putting off. It's just not trashy enough.
My most recent Old Navy order arrived on Saturday. It included my new 3/4 sleeve french blue button up shirt, new khaki pants, and a new cargo skirt. I was ironing the blue shirt last night in hopes of wearing it this week. I accidentally burned it, right on the front, a darkened patch in the shape of an iron. I'm not even sure how it happened, except that maybe the heat setting was too high and the fabric blend contains nylon. So I hadn't even worn the shirt and now it's ruined. It's extremely dissapointing and I'm still trying not to cry.

August 16, 2004

Pimento cheese and Snackwell's crackers. I'm a wealth of complexities.

August 15, 2004

Those We Do Not Shut Up About

We saw The Village last night. I liked it, so I’m not sure why the critics are hatin’. I liked it better than Unbreakable and it was definitely better than Signs. You have to appreciate that M. Night Shyamalan is one of the few filmmakers out there who still has a surprise or two up his sleeves. (And since I’m one of those annoying people who guess the plot twist out loud seconds before it’s revealed, ruining the entire movie for others- according to Rob, then this should be very appreciated.) I was a bit disappointed at Joaquin Phoenix and Sigourney Weaver’s lack of screen time. Who knew Bryce Dallas Howard was going to monopolize the entire thing? Oh, and I’m calling it right now: She’s the poor man’s Claire Danes. And since Claire Danes took up with Billy Crudup while Mary Louise Parker was eight months pregnant with his kid, that’s not saying much. And no, there’s no explanation for why I possess that knowledge.

August 11, 2004

Potpourri

Rob’s 29th birthday party was last Saturday night. Any of you losers who didn’t show up missed out on lots and lots of beer. We had a pony keg, which contains 84 servings. There were 12 people at the party counting Rob and I. We returned the keg about a quarter full. Next time everyone will be required to consume their seven servings each.

We’ve postponed our house search until the spring. Our apartment lease is up then and it was going to cost us $600 just to get out of the lease early. We now know all the expenses we need to be prepared for and the neighborhood we want to buy in. We ended up withdrawing an offer we’d put in on a really cute four bedroom, two bath, seven closet house that I REALLY wanted. I try not the think about it. But seven closets? I was going to have one that was just for purses. Sigh.

I’m sharing two interesting articles today. I can’t seem to get enough of the Scott Peterson case, like the rest of the country it seems. And I don’t want to be too judgmental, because I know Amber Frey is not the criminal in this case. But what single mom gives the key to her place and leaves her child alone with someone on the third date?

And now on a totally different topic. Cow Udder Doping Scandal Hits Australia. Maybe it’s time we stopped judging dairy cows on their appearance?

And I am compiling a list of the movies that make me sob the hardest. Why? Because I work for a high tech company in the silicon hills that can’t seem to keep a steady network connection. I get bored.

August 02, 2004

Control your jealousy.

We had a seriously uneventful weekend. We drove to San Marcos to get my hair cut because that's where my hair dresser is. Rob went with me to keep me company and because I bribe him with lunch at Mamacita's. Then Saturday night we went with Brian to dinner and to the Alamo Drafthouse Lakecreek to see The Village. We got there an hour early and it was already sold out. So rather than drive to another theater where it was likely to be sold out as well, we stayed and saw Anchorman, with Will Ferrell. Not the best movie of the year, but it actually had some pretty funny moments. Ebert gave Anchorman three stars and The Village only one star. So who knows? Maybe it was money better spent. Besides, I just love the Alamo Drafthouse. More movie theaters should sell beer.
We also spent some time this weekend watching Colonial House. The eight hour PBS reality series premiered in May and we've just now gotten around to watching the reccorded episodes. Twenty or so men and women go live as 1628 colonists in Maine. From pbs.org: "Residing in a 17th-century environment cultivated from extensive research, the colonists negotiate personal and communal challenges as they deal with the demoralizing weather, rustic living conditions and backbreaking labor. Among the points of dissension that arise in the colony are: the rigid class and gender roles, mandatory religious observance, and the puritanical civil laws of the era, particularly those pertaining to profanity."
Who says we don't know how to have an exciting weekend?

July 18, 2004

Author Paula Danziger dead at 59

Childrens’ books included The Cat Ate My Gymsuit
The Associated Press
Updated: 6:01 p.m. ET July 09, 2004
NEW YORK - Paula Danziger, author of numerous popular books for children and young adults, has died of complications from a heart attack in New York City.
Danziger’s first novel, The Cat Ate My Gymsuit, was published to glowing notices 30 years ago.
She also wrote the Amber Brown books about a pugnacious grade schooler.
Danziger grew up in New Jersey and became a schoolteacher in 1967. She says she always wanted to write, but didn’t start until a week in which she survived two car accidents in two days.
“Before I got hit by a bus,” she said.
Paula Danziger was 59.

July 11, 2004

The Church of Baseball

We leave for vacation on Wednesday, at some ungodly hour of the morning. Just two days left to pretend to work and throw way too many clothes and shoes into a suitcase. How does a girl with 20 pairs of flip flops narrow it down? So Wednesday morning, we board a plane bound for Cooperstown, NY, home of the Baseball Hall of Fame (which we will not be visiting). Also the home of James Fenimore Cooper and his lovely touristy estate, which we also not be visiting. Oh, and Barnyard Swing, Cooperstown's newest miniature golf course, which we will totally be visiting. We will be staying in a house on the shore of pristine Lake Otsego (according to the chamber of commerce). We will be without television, without internet access, and likely have very spotty cell phone reception for seven whole days. I will easily not worry about work, or bills, and I will struggle a lot to not worry about the four bedroom house in Anderson Mill that I'm in love with and desperately hope has not been bought out from under us while we're out of town (I would paste the link to the house here, but you would just buy the house for yourself and our friendship would be ruined). I will be laying on the dock, reading a trashy romance novel or riding around in Rob's grandfather's 80 year-old wooden boat, or attempting to hunt for non-baseball themed souvenirs. Try not to be eaten up with jealousy.

July 03, 2004

yay for books!

Pamie's book drive for the San Diego Public Libraries is going strong. They've received over 200 books, but they still need many more due to drastic budget cutbacks.
It's super easy to donate. Each library branch has an Amazon wishlist, many of them filled with books for children and young adults. I donated today. The Ranch San Diego Branch Library should be receiving:
Drawing Cats by Katy Bratun which was ranked a “must have” on the library’s wishlist.

Anne of Green Gables by L.M Montgomery which is still one of my favorite books of all time, and every girl should get to read it.

Remember the Ladies: 100 Great Amererican Women by Cheryl Harness, because sure, remember the ladies. But the best part? The misspelling of American? That’s how it appears on Amazon. I’m hoping that on the book itself it’s spelled correctly.

It was fun, easy, and now I get to be smug all day. What are you sending?

July 02, 2004

Miles Allen Matheny

My friend Brian (we've been friends for more than ten years) lost his brother Allen this week. Allen died suddenly at the age of 21. He was burried today in Pflugerville after a funeral so full that they ran out of seating. Brian eulogized him with the perfect mixture of humor and love and Allen will be greatly missed. Allen's obituary can be viewed online. If you're the praying sort, please add Brian and his family to your prayers and thoughts.

June 26, 2004

Bush, Bumperstickers, and Books

We went to see Fahrenheit 9/11 tonight. It's showing at six theaters in Austin, two in North Austin, one in South Austin, one on the UT campus and one in Pflugerville, a suburb of Austin. We went to the theater closest to us, just down the street. We arrived for the 4pm show 30 minutes early hoping for a good seat. The movie is showing on two screens there and it was sold out all day until 7:45pm. So we bought tickets then, went home for a while and went back, again 30 minutes early. We walked in to find the line to get in for the movie snaking around the entire lobby of the theater. Rob held our place in line while I went to buy concessions. The 5 person concession line moved much slower than the line of at least 50 people waiting to get into the film, so I gave up and we went in and ended up in the front row.
The movie is great, even better than Bowling for Columbine. It has funny moments, but more incredibly sad ones. It left me feeling angry (I had no idea I was still bitter about Florida), a little helpless and desperately hoping there were some undecided voters in the crowd tonight. They can't possibly be undecided now. If you haven't seen it, you have to. Go right now, this weekend. Pamie is right, this box office counts. This film is already sending a message. Let this weekend's message be from us.
After the parade of liberal bumper stickers we saw at the theater, I'm feeling a little guilty for not being gutsy enough to display my politics on my vehicle, so I'll have to peruse EvolveFish.com.
In other important news, Pamie has started this year's book drive, to benefit the San Diego Public Libraries, which have experienced drastic budget cuts this year. She organized a book drive last year that netted over 650 books for the Oakland Public Libraries. I'll be donating on Friday (pay day). I'm really excited at the idea of donating books that I might not have gotten to read if I hadn't had a library card. I'm also thinking about going through my shelves to find some books that can be donated to the Austin Public Libraries. What about you?

June 25, 2004

I spoke too soon.

Best article of the day: When Vending Machines Attack- Notify Homeland Security!

June 24, 2004

All the things you wanted to know...

  • I don't have anything new to share, not even a good link.
  • If I don't find a good link, I don't feel like blogging.
  • It's Friday, almost 4pm and I have one more work order left to do that I've been putting off the entire day.
  • I'm debating over whether to buy M&M's or Reese's Pieces from the vending machine.
  • Trying to decide if going to see Fahrenheit 9/11 tomorrow will be too much of a hassle (like going to an Al Franken book signing, Austin liberals crawl out from under their rocks en masse).
  • I finished my 100 Things About Me list. It's about as fascinating as everyone else's.
  • I received email from my friends Cacedra and Leslie. Cacedra has braces too and Leslie has moved to Cairo. Cause she's freakin crazy! The more people that I know travel, the more I feel like I've never done anything or been anywhere.
  • Rob and I have bought our plane tickets to go spend a week at his family's lake house in Cooperstown, New York in July. They have a new mini golf course!
  • In retrospect, it's probably a good thing that my work vending machine no longer carries Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.

June 15, 2004

Welcome to My Cube Hell

Take this handy quiz: Which Office Moron Are You? and find out if you deserve a swank window seat or a cubby hole in storage B. (Oh and while you're down there, if you could take care of that cockroach problem we've been having...?) Admit it, you're the incompetent egotist, aren't you? Don't feel bad, I'm the old timer.


Link submitted by Julia

June 11, 2004

If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

And here I was, just the other day, thinking that cooking hot dogs is so hard. Surely there's a way it can be made easier? Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker: Making the World a Better Place.

June 10, 2004

Wow! Work CAN be fun!

Time wasting climbs to new levels: Portrait Illustration Maker. What does it say about me that I never get tired of making little icons out of myself?

June 02, 2004

What ever happened to flowers?

Lunch at Cracker Barrel? $25.99. Mouse trap? 69 cents. Being charged with felony extortion for Mother's Day? Priceless.
Mom & Son Accused of Planting Mouse in Soup
Who's the lucky medical professional who had to perform the autopsy on the mouse? Bet their mom is proud.

May 28, 2004

Wrong In So Many Ways

Easily the best article of the day: Man Commits Suicide After Sex with Hen.

Loving the last sentence:
"The hen was slaughtered after the incident. "

At least the home wrecking hussy got what was coming to her.

May 22, 2004

I didn't even know they sold church steeples as accessories.

Now tell me again "the comptroller never favors one religion over another"?

May 21, 2004

Carole Keeton Strayhorn: The lesser of two evils steps it up a notch.

Texas official says Unitarian church not a tax-exempt religion

BY R.A. DYER Knight Ridder Newspapers

AUSTIN, Texas - (KRT) - Unitarian Universalists have for decades presided over births, marriages and memorials. The church operates in every state, with more than 5,000 members in Texas alone.

But according to the office of Texas Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn, a Texas Unitarian church isn't really a religious organization - at least for tax purposes. Its reasoning: The organization "does not have one system of belief."

Never before - not in this state nor any other - has a government agency denied Unitarians tax-exempt status because of the group's religious philosophy, church officials say. Strayhorn's ruling clearly infringes upon religious liberties, said Dan Althoff, board president for the Denison, Texas, congregation that was rejected for tax exemption by the comptroller's office.

"I was surprised - surprised and shocked - because the Unitarian church in the United States has a very long history," said Althoff, who notes that father-and-son presidents John Adams and John Quincy Adams were both Unitarians.

Strayhorn's ruling, as well as a similar decision by former Comptroller John Sharp, has left the comptroller's office straddling a sometimes murky gulf separating church and state.

What constitutes religion? When and how should government make that determination? Questions that for years have vexed the world's great philosophers have now become the province of the state comptroller's office.

Questions about the issue were referred to Jesse Ancira, the comptroller's top lawyer, who said Strayhorn has applied a consistent standard - and then stuck to it. For any organization to qualify as a religion, members must have "simply a belief in God, or gods, or a higher power," he said.

"We have got to apply a test, and use some objective standards," Ancira said. "We're not using the test to deny the exemptions for a particular group because we like them or don't like them."
Since Strayhorn took over in January 1999, the comptroller's office has denied religious tax-exempt status to 17 groups and granted them to more than 1,000, according to records obtained by the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Although there are exceptions, the lion's share of approvals have gone to groups that appear to have relatively traditional faiths, records show.

But of the denials, at least a fourth include less traditional groups. In addition to the Denison Unitarian church, the rejected groups include a Carrollton, Texas, group of atheists and agnostics, a New Age group in Bastrop, Texas, and the Whispering Star Clan/Temple of Ancient Wisdom, an organization of witches in Copperas Cove, Texas.

Some of the denials occurred because of missing paperwork or other problems, according to the comptroller's office. A few, like the denial for the New Age group and the witches group, were decided because their services were closed to the public, according to documents.

But the denials of the Red River Unitarian Universalist Church in Denison, the North Texas Church of Freethought in Carrollton, and an earlier denial by Sharp for the Ethical Culture Fellowship of Austin, were ordered because the organizations did not mandate belief in a supreme being.

The disputed tax dollars don't amount to much, but the comptroller has taken a stand on principle, Ancira said.

"The issue as a whole is, Do you want to open up a system where there can be abuse or fraud, or where any group can proclaim itself to be a religious organization and take advantage of the exception?" he said.

Those who oppose the comptroller's "God, gods or supreme being" test say that it can discriminate against legitimate faiths. For example, applying that standard could disqualify Buddhism because it does not mandate belief in a supreme being, critics say.

Opponents note that the federal government applies less stringent rules for federal tax exemptions and yet manages to discourage fraud and abuse. They also question whether the comptroller's office has formulated excuses to discriminate against nontraditional groups, such as those that include witches and pagans.

But Ancira says it's up to the comptroller's office to interpret state law, which he describes as rather vague. He insists the comptroller never favors one religion over another.

"This comptroller, in particular, wants everybody on a level playing field," he said.

The comptroller's office has not always barred "creedless" religions from tax exemption, said Douglas Laycock, a University of Texas law professor who specializes in religious liberty issues.
That standard first came up in 1997, when then-Comptroller Sharp ruled against the Ethical Culture Fellowship of Austin. In making that decision, Sharp overturned the recommendation of his staff.

The Ethical Culture Fellowship sued, claiming that Sharp overstepped his authority. Allied with the group in the ongoing lawsuit are pastors from a broad range of faiths, including Baptists, Lutherans and Mennonites.

Both the lower court and the Texas Supreme Court have ruled against the state's decision. In one opinion, an appeals court said the comptroller's test "fails to include the whole range of belief systems that may, in our diverse and pluralistic society, merit the First Amendment protection."
Strayhorn vows to continue the legal fight to the U.S. Supreme Court, if necessary. "Otherwise, any wannabe cult who dresses up and parades down Sixth Street on Halloween will be applying for an exemption," she said in an April 23 news release.

The Red River Unitarian Universalist Church, the 50-member congregation whose tax application was rejected by Strayhorn's office, has held services in Denison for seven years. Althoff said his group includes "hard-core atheists" as well as "New Agey-type people."

But the lack of a single creed is a hallmark of Unitarianism, Althoff said. Instead, Unitarian Universalists have seven guiding principles, including "respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part," according to the Unitarian Universalist Web site.

The group also draws from various religious and philosophical traditions, including Jewish, Christian, humanist and Earth-centered teachings, but promotes individual freedom of belief, according to the Web site. It notes that Unitarians and Universalists have operated in the United States for at least 200 years, although the two groups did not merge until 1961.

It now includes about 40 congregations in Texas, and more than 1,000 in the United States, Canada and Mexico.

Despite its lack of a specific creed, Unitarian Universalism is as much a religion as any other, Althoff said. From his perspective, religion is not just about the answers to life's big questions, but also calls on people to evaluate the questions themselves.

"It seems to me that any (group) that is specifically organized to address and explore the issues of what constitutes the good life, both here and perhaps in the afterworld, would qualify" as a religion, Althoff said.

The Rev. Anthony David, lead pastor of Pathways Church in Southlake, Texas, said he is disturbed by the comptroller's decision because it ignores Unitarian Universalists' belief that spiritual fulfillment can emerge in "different ways at different levels."

"It reflects an incredible misunderstanding of what a church needs to look like," David said.
Pathways teaches that God is a term that describes the source of ultimate meaning and purpose, but the church does not advocate a one size fits all theology, David said.

"Creedlessness doesn't mean no belief or anything goes," he said.

Craig Roshaven of Fort Worth's First Jefferson Unitarian Universalist Church said he has followed the comptroller's decisions with growing dismay.

His group has tax-exempt status, but he wonders what's to prevent Strayhorn from revoking it.
"The comptroller's same logic could be applied to any of us," he said.

Ancira said the comptroller's office has no plans for such reversals. But, then again, said Ancira, "there's nothing preventing us from doing so."

(Staff writer Darren Barbee contributed to this report.)
© 2004, Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

May 17, 2004

Iraq the Model

"Yes, we should put our hands in each other’s because we have a common destiny." - from an Iraqi blog.

Which sign of the apocalypse is this?

Well, to be fair, May does have a history of apocalypses...
The Quizno's Spongemonkeys have been outdone by the Subservient Chicken.

May 10, 2004

"What about prom Blaine?"

Thought this was a great idea for a charity: Florida Teen Leaves Dress Charity as Legacy. And how hard could it be to donate? If you too have an old prom dress laying around, unused, at the bottom of a rubbermaid storage bin, visit Becca's Closet to donate. Think there's actually some needy girl out there who wants my harlot red, floor length, Scarlet O'Hara number, circa 1996?