March 03, 2005

Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

Dear America,

There's just something about your Chevy Avalanches, your Tahoes, your Ford F-150s and God forbid, your Hummers. There's something about the great big hulking size of them that just says you don't give a shit about your fellow man. Something about the way they dwarf my four door sedan, the way they spill out of your compact parking space, preventing me from even opening my door. The way they completely obstruct all visibility when we're both pulling out of the same parking lot. There's something about the careless way your vehicle with it's flag decal barrels down the highway at 14 miles per gallon, while the ozone melts away and we fight wars over oil. And the way you pilot that urban assault vehicle while talking on your cell phone and watching a DVD with such impressive disregard for the safety of others? Well, it speaks volumes about your character. Your vehicle says a lot about you America. Don't let yours say that you're an asshole.



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