"I knew we should have gone to Six Flags instead."

Families Suing City of Dallas Over Gorilla Escape
Okay, I can kinda feel their pain. A gorilla bite can't be pleasant. But long-lasting emotional trauma? Seriously? Like they're afraid to leave the house now because there's always the fear that a western lowland gorilla might jump out and bite them? They've had to join a therapy group for survivors of zoo mishaps? Are they having to take anti-anxiety medication just so they can watch Animal Planet? Okay, maybe I don't feel their pain.