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To the person who found my blog by searching for "what kind of pants should be worn with slouch boots"... The answer is NONE, because slouch boots should never be worn. Trust me on this.

To the people who are forever ending up at my blog due to their feverish Googling of "are danny and melinda from the real world austin still together?" Sorry, you've really come to the wrong place. I made one offhand comment about those two crazy kids after watching the reunion special. And I swear, I regret it now.

And to the person who found my blog by searching for "god wants your ass"? You have big problems my friend.

In Austin? Hate Genocide?

Did you ever wonder: "What can I do to help end the genocide in Darfur?" All you have to do is go out and enjoy a meal in an Austin restaurant participating in the Dining for Darfur dine-out on Monday, August 27 and you'll be providing aid for the people of Sudan and Chad currently suffering from the violence, destruction and displacement. At the restaurant that evening you may even learn more ways of to help us call an end to the genocide that is happening in this region.

Participating restaurants will donate 5% of their gross sales to the American Jewish World Service (AJWS). Donations will be used for AJWS's nonsectarian humanitarian relief efforts for the victims in Darfur.

Participating Restaurants:

Arturo's
Blue Star Cafeteria
Chez Zee
Curra's Grill (all 3 locations)
Frank & Angie's Pizzeria
Freddie's Place
H-E-B Kosher Store Grill
Hut's Hamburgers
It's Italian
Kenichi
Lambert's Downtown BBQ
Leaf
Louie's 106
Manny Hattan's New York Delicatessen
Mars
Ms. B's Authentic Creole Restaurant
Opal Divine's (all 3 locations—Order a "Velocirita" and Velocity Bank will match a $1 contribution for every drink sold that day!)
Pluckers Wing Bar (all 5 locations)
Restaurant Jezebel
San Antonio Street Cafe
Spicy Pickle
Suzi's China Grill (all 3 locations)
Taco Deli (both locations)
Taverna
Tom's Tabooley
Upper Crust Bakery
Waterloo Ice House (6th and Lamar location only)

I've said it before...

"Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage."

For real y'all. Bitch be crazy.

I don't see anything wrong with this picture.

Testing My Emmy Luck

The Emmys are on Sunday, September 16. So I'll see if I can repeat my Oscar success.

DRAMA

SERIES:
"Boston Legal" (ABC)
"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
"Heroes" (NBC)
"House" (Fox)
"The Sopranos" (HBO)

ACTOR:
James Spader, "Boston Legal"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Denis Leary, "Rescue Me"
James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos"
Kiefer Sutherland, "24"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
T.R. Knight, "Grey's Anatomy"
Masi Oka, "Heroes"
Michael Emerson, "Lost"
Terry O'Quinn, "Lost"
Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos"

ACTRESS:
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Patricia Arquette, "Medium"
Minnie Driver, "The Riches"
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters"
Katherine Heigl, "Grey's Anatomy"
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy"
Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy"
Aida Turturro, "The Sopranos"
Lorraine Bracco, "The Sopranos"

COMEDY

SERIES:
"Entourage" (HBO)
"The Office" (NBC)
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS)
"Ugly Betty" (ABC)

ACTOR:
Ricky Gervais, "Extras"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office"
Jon Cryer, "Two and a Half Men"

ACTRESS:
Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl"
Jenna Fischer, "The Office"
Holland Taylor, "Two and a Half Men"
Conchata Ferrell, "Two and a Half Men"
Vanessa Williams, "Ugly Betty"
Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds"

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY PROGRAM

SERIES:
"The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central)
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)
"Late Night With Conan O'Brien" (NBC)
"Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Real Time With Bill Maher" (HBO)

REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM:
"The Amazing Race" (CBS)
"American Idol" (Fox)
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC)
"Project Runway" (Bravo)
"Top Chef" (Bravo)

Happy 32nd Birthday to the best daddy.

catching up on current events

JENNIFER: Oh, did you hear that Stephen Colbert fell and broke his wrist, running around onstage?

KANDIS: No, didn't hear that. That sounds like something clumsy I would do. Except for the running part.

As you can tell by the steam coming out of my ears, Emmy nominations are out.

Okay, does the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences even watch the shows they nominate? Seriously. Because I'm convinced that they don't. Or if they do, they have even worse taste than the people who keep "American Idol" and "Survivor" on the air.

Does "The Sopranos" really need even more accolades heaped on them? While "Deadwood" and "Studio 60" receive no critical nominations? I can't even fathom how that happened. There's never been a better show than "Deadwood".

Shameful.

I hope Ian McShane kicks all their asses. While Bradley Whitford mocks them savagely.

Edited to add: Oh yeah! And Lauren Graham, Kristin Bell and "Lost" too! Damned Emmy voters.

This is our house on drugs.

Last night around 9:30pm, a pipe burst in our downstairs bathroom. Water shot out of the wall for about 15-20 minutes while Rob and I ran around like chickens with our heads cut off, looking for the main water shut-off valve. Rob finally was able to turn off the water supply under the toilet (after first shutting off the hot water heater instead) and we found ourselves in the middle of about an inch of standing water. It was in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the master bedroom, master bath, my closet, three other closets, and the pantry. Basically the entire first floor of our house is hosed. We called a water damage service to come last night and they immediately began extracting the water and surveying the damage. We ended up checking into a hotel around midnight so that the technicians could continue cleaning up water, and spraying toxic anti-microbials. Cooper slept through the entire thing.

Today the technicians began ripping up our laminate flooring, our baseboards, our cabinet kickboards, what little carpeting we have, and even an area rug. I've lost track of how many commercial grade fans and dehumidifiers are criss-crossing our floors. Our furniture has been moved all over the place, and it's basically like running an obstacle course just to try to get a glass of water.

Oh! And the dozens of fans and dehumidifiers are putting off so much heat that I'm afraid our next electric bill will deplete Cooper's non-existant college fund.

We are now living in our upstairs guestroom. The insurance claims adjuster won't be able to make it out here until Thursday, and assuming they cover all the damages, who knows how long it will take for everything to get replaced?

So that's the fun in our life. How about you?

Oh, and we still don't know where that main water shut-off valve is.

some people can nap anywhere

Rob and Cooper enjoying a rest during our five hour delay at the Cincinatti airport. At two and half months old, Cooper has now been to Georgia, Ohio, and New York- courtesy of a trip to Cooperstown to see his grandparents, great-grandmothers, and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. Cooper turned out to be a better traveler than I am. Well, less of a whiner anyway.

Rob wrote more about our trip, and I'll be posting photos.

Sorry, I've been busy playing with my baby.

Don't you hate days like this?

It's official.

The CW Cancels "Veronica Mars"

Hey CW? You're dead to me now.

We've survived our first month!

So I've been a little busy lately.

I don't spend much time online anymore, have become a terrible correspondent, and have no idea what's going on in the world. However, I could probably tell you how many dirty diapers I've changed today, and what happened on "Guiding Light".

It's noon and I'm still wearing my pajamas and will consider myself lucky today if I get to eat lunch, pee, and shower and put on makeup. (Yes, makeup. I may wear tank tops and cut off sweatpants every day now, but that's no reason to totally fall apart.)

Cooper is doing great. He eats constantly, sleeps occasionally (though not in his bed, that's where we put him if we want to wake him up) and is growing like a weed. He's now over 9lbs and so strong that he's already rolled over. Now if we could just teach him to wash his own bottles, I may get some laundry done sometime this summer.

Look what I got!

Cooper Gregory Seaver, born April 17th at 9:22pm. 7lbs, 11oz, 18 1/2 inches.














We're healthy and thrilled. Thanks to all for your well wishes!

Baby Update: 40 Weeks

Apparently the baby does not care that today was supposed to be his birthday.

As you can see, he's still en route.

Super Kandis

Rob thinks I’m a hero.

Now of course I think I am. Hello? I’m wearing a cape. But how clever am I that I’ve successfully convinced him that I’m somehow amazing for managing to survive pregnancy? After all, it’s not like women all over the world have been doing this for thousands of years. (They have? Well for God’s sake, keep that to yourself! I could potentially score some jewelry out of this.)

Of course the reason Rob thinks I’m so heroic is because I’ve made sure that he knows all of the trials I’m going through while incubating our son. He lived through the ten weeks of miserable whining and nausea that was my first trimester. He gets to hear all about my daily aches and pains, and gets to see me limp around in the evenings like an 80 year-old crone. He’s forced to admire my puffy cankles and hobbit feet. And listen to the moaning and groaning every time I have to get in and out of the car or the bed. And I make sure he knows exactly how many times I had to get up to pee last night. (Six, if anyone is interested.)

Yet he’s managed to survive it all. He hasn’t once given up and snapped “Okay, I get it already! You’re uncomfortable!” He hasn’t once made fun of my freakishly huge belly and puffy ankles, and in fact always does his best to try and make me feel pretty. He makes dinner or goes and picks something up on the nights that I don’t think I can limp around another moment. He’s made many store runs for such essentials as: Dr. Pepper, Blue Bell, and Rolos. He’s assembled more nursery furniture than anyone should ever have to. (“This is the last thing we need, I swear!”) And he’s done all the lifting and carrying and cleaning that I deemed too much for my delicate condition. He took me away to a bed & breakfast in Fredericksburg for a lovely weekend of shopping and eating. And he’s accompanied me on several trips to what has to be a man's version of the seventh ring of hell: Babies R Us.

And I know that as long as he shows our baby boy as much patience as he’s shown me these last 39 weeks, he’s going to be a great dad.

Now, about those brownies I’m craving…

Have you seen Squishy?

Our friends Barrett and Heather have lost their beloved pug, Squishy.

They send out this message:

PLEASE HELP! We lost our pug Thursday night (March 15th) at the corner of 14th and Chestnut Ave. (East Austin). She's 5 years-old, fawn colored, fixed, does not have a microchip or a collar on. She responds to her name and also comes when clapping twice. She's very friendly, very sociable, extremely sweet so if you know of anyone who's taken in a stray pug please contact us. Any and all information will be appreciated, call anytime. Ph: (512) 784-0615.

We're asking anyone who is on MySpace to please check out our sites Infinity Recording Studios and Circle Line Designs and send a bulletin to everyone you know.(A bulletin on myspace is a message that is sent to every single one of your "myspace friends"). It's a great way to spread the word all across central Texas that we're looking for our pug Squishy. You can copy the information from our MySpace pages for the post or just copy this! The more people that we can reach the better our chances of getting her back home! Plus, it's something you can do from home or work that could have an immense effect! Please help us!

If you have any information you can reach us at 512-784-0615 anytime, day or night. Thanks to anyone and everyone who can take the time to try and help!

the lunch of champions

Today I ran up to 7-Eleven during my lunch break to get some gasoline and a snack.

The very nice Indian man at the counter handed me my receipt and said "Thank you and God bless the baby." Which I thought was really kind.

But then I realized that he may think the baby really needs the blessing since his mother is, by all appearances, subsisting on nothing but Slurpees, bbq Fritos, and Ding Dongs.

Beware the Ides of March

"When are you due again?"

"So, how much longer?"

"Wow, you haven't had that baby yet?"

"It seems like you've been pregnant forever."

Yeah, just going for the regular 40 weeks. But thanks. Really.


Edited to add: And this new one, courtesy of my hair stylist:

"Wow, how many babies are in there?"