Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

Dear America,

There's just something about your Chevy Avalanches, your Tahoes, your Ford F-150s and God forbid, your Hummers. There's something about the great big hulking size of them that just says you don't give a shit about your fellow man. Something about the way they dwarf my four door sedan, the way they spill out of your compact parking space, preventing me from even opening my door. The way they completely obstruct all visibility when we're both pulling out of the same parking lot. There's something about the careless way your vehicle with it's flag decal barrels down the highway at 14 miles per gallon, while the ozone melts away and we fight wars over oil. And the way you pilot that urban assault vehicle while talking on your cell phone and watching a DVD with such impressive disregard for the safety of others? Well, it speaks volumes about your character. Your vehicle says a lot about you America. Don't let yours say that you're an asshole.

Love,

Kandis

If I put a sofa on my wishlist, would anybody buy it?

The appraisal went well! So everything seems to be on track for closing on March 11th (which is when Rob's parents will be down for a visit). And I think the house actually has NINE closets! But I've only seen the inside twice, so it's hard to remember for sure. I don't know how I'm going to be able to wait until March 18th to move. I'm dying to explore the house at my leisure, without a realtor following us around in case we have questions. We have a super nice realtor, but I still want to wander around the house without having to worry about inconveniencing anyone. And there's a whole list of stuff I'm wanting to buy to make the house perfect: refrigerator, queen mattress, new bed frame for queen mattress, new nightstands, table lamps, console table, microwave cart, pots and pans, and one day, a red sofa. Yeah, I said red. What's it to you? But of course all that stuff costs a lot of money, so we'll buy little pieces here and there. I can't wait!

get your kumbyayas out

Last Saturday night, Rob and I went to a midnight showing of the Buffy episode "Once More with Feeling", which proceeded a showing of the much less exciting episode, "The Zeppo" at the Alamo Drafthouse downtown. The show was billed as a sing-a-long and all of the songs in the episode were subtitled (as if we didn't all have them memorized?), so sure enough we all sang along, blew bubbles, threw underwear, yelled at the screen, watched a dancing bunny, and held hands and swayed. And yes, it sounds very Rocky Horror-esque. And having spent my fair share of time doing the Time Warp, I can tell you it was different. And it was so great to be in a sold out theater, drinking beer, and singing with 200 people who are possibly more Buffy obsessed than I am. The Alamo plans to hold the event again, but Rob has already put in an obligatory appearance, so... anyone else up for it?

We're hoping to hear how our house appraisal went by tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed that it appraises for the amount of our loan, otherwise, bye-bye awesome house.

Where have you gone Rob Lowe?

Remember when "The West Wing" was good? Really good? Remember when it could make you tear up at Sam's shear idealism? Remember when the President cursed God in Latin for taking Mrs. Landingham and nearly made the walls of the Washington National Cathedral come tumbling down? And when Charlie received a Thanksgiving carving knife? Remember when Toby didn't know that babies came with hats? And when Ainsley Hayes could be brought to tears by HMS Pinafore? Remember when the streets of Heaven were crowded with too many angels? Now the show couldn't be any more boring. The writing is flat and lacking in cleverness, and nothing seems to happen anymore. They've all lost that great sense of wonderment and duty and purpose that made the first years so special. It's just so frustrating. Can somebody just wake me up when Josh and Donna finally get it on?

ode to a closet...

After some haggling, our offer was accepted. We close on our house March 11! And yes, they made us their bitches. Now we just have to get all the documents together for our lender, pay for a survey and appraisal, and pray that the house appraises for what we're paying for it. Then Rob's parents are coming to visit in the midst of closing and our chaotic packing, so they won't be seeing our apartment at it's best. But they will get to see our four bedroom, eight closet (I'm in love with the closets) house before we pack it with furniture and assorted stuff with dragonflies on it. Yay!

back off

The account I'm on at work took 87 inbound phone calls before 5pm yesterday, and 22 of them were taken by me. And then, after a day like that, I go home and zombie out in front of the television. (Lost rocks!) Is it any wonder why I haven't blogged?

Rob and I put in an offer on a four bedroom house in North Austin on Saturday. It has high ceilings and pergo flooring in the living room and EIGHT closets. We want it so bad that we can't stand it, but the seller (it's owned by a family trust based in San Diego. The hell? Yeah, we know.) is in Africa until Saturday. Which gives everyone in town plenty of time to outbid us on our house. It's agonizing to wait and not know. We went to look at the house a second time last night with the realtor and measured rooms. Three bathrooms! New counters! Fireplace! I have no idea how we will handle it if we can't have that house.

We're going to South Carolina and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and ...the DNC!

"As I have traveled across our country, I have talked to thousands of people who are working for change in their own communities about the power of politics to make a difference in their own lives and in the lives of others. Every group I have spoken to, I encouraged them to stand up for what they believe and to get involved in the electoral process -- because the only sure way to make difference is to step up and run for office yourself.

Today, I'm announcing my candidacy for the Chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee."

-Howard Dean, M.D.

embrace it

From Slate:

Fat may be a worldwide phenomenon—and increasingly so—but not everyone is neurotic about it, or they're not neurotic in the same way. Take the chapter by anthropologist Rebecca Popenoe (from: Fat: The Anthropology of an Obsession), based on her fieldwork among desert Arabs in Niger. This is a society with no media influences or beauty industries, where women strive to be as fat as possible. Girls are force-fed to achieve this ideal; stretch marks are regarded as beautiful.

Awesome! In Niger, I am stunning.

Me, me, me

Haven't posted in a while, took a week off for Christmas, been super busy at work and I don't know... not in the mood? So here's some fluff.

Three Names You Go By: Kandis, Kandi, Ally and Canned-Ice. And yeah, I can count to three, I just chose not to.

Three Screennames You Have: Queen Kandis, secula_seculorum, Miss World

Three Things You Like About Yourself: I’m so damned smart. I make great chocolate chip cookies. And I’m super modest.

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: It’s possible that I whine a smidge too much. I could maybe not talk quite so much during movies or TV shows. And maybe I should think of a third thing that isn’t that great about me?

Three Parts of Your Heritage: Dude. My family has been in Texas for over five generations. We can’t remember where we came from. We’re European-American mutts like everyone else.

Three Things That Scare You: Pod-like things, apartment fires, and Dubya.

Three of Your Everyday Essentials: Email, checking all of the usual blogs I read, and makeup.

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: Baby blue hooded sweater, jeans, brown Doc Marten maryjanes. Don’t judge, it’s cold out.

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment): Barenaked Ladies (Barenaked for the Holidays rocks), Dixie Chicks, and Loretta Lynn (I got Van Lear Rose for Christmas).

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present: Hard Candy Christmas (shut up), the Carole King theme from Gilmore Girls (since I watch it every day), and that’s all I can think of. I guess I’m not much of a music person.

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: Buying a house, keeping a plant alive, and I’m still in pursuit of professional photographs of Rob and I that I actually like. (Guess I’ll have to wait for my braces to come off in May for that one.)

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given): Trust, common idea of fun, presents.

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex That Appeal to You: Tallness, tennis ball head, giant feet.

Three Things You Just Can't Do: Exercise, juggle, speak French.

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies: Reading, watching and critiquing TV, online shopping.

Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now: Buy a house, be magically slim, beat someone about the head if the work ice machine doesn’t get fixed TODAY.

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation: Scotland, Hawaii, Las Vegas. I’m sure I’ll get over the Vegas thing once I’ve seen it.

Three Kids' Names: Jennyfivetina, Abraham and Buffy

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die: See all of Europe, build my dream home, finish my degree.

Ganked from: Life at the Center of the Universe

tardiness

Okay, so yesterday was De-Lurking Day and as usual I'm late. I have no idea if there are any blurkers around these parts, because I have no clue how to read my site stats, or if livejournal even tracks that kind of stuff (which is I guess why I'm a livejournaler and not a Movable Type-head). More work for Six Apart.

So anyway, if you stumble over here, a comment would be cool.

the bossiest reindeer of all

I've wrapped presents, made cookies, played Christmas carols, and now I'm going to go curl up and enjoy our fire. Hey you! Yeah, you, dumbass. Get off the computer and go enjoy Christmas!

true story

The Real World To Be Taped In Austin

Dec 22, 2004 5:07 pm US/Central
The MTV series that ushered in reality television will land in Austin next month -- for the 16th edition of "The Real World". The 24 episodes will air starting in June. The show brings together seven strangers between the ages of 18 and 24 to live in a swank loft or house and films them around the clock, at home and on the town. Past locations include Los Angeles, Chicago and Paris. Mayor Will Wynn says Austin is the smallest city to host a "Real World" cast. The site in Austin wasn't disclosed. "The Real World" has been a hit since its 1992 debut season, which was set in New York City. It's M-T-V's longest-running series. Murray would not say where the house is either, but did say, "They will have very cool digs."

If I haven't returned your call...

Shows that I am watching with a crazy person’s fervor:
Lost
Gilmore Girls
One Tree Hill
The Apprentice 2
Significant Others
And yes I will totally watch a Buffy rerun I've seen a million times, any time it's on.

Shows that I keep watching for unknown reasons:
ER
Days of Our Lives
Real World: Philadelphia
Wife Swap/Trading Spouses (these are essentially the same show)
West Wing
NYPD Blue

Shows that have me counting the days until their return:
Nip/Tuck
Deadwood
Carnivale (Jan. 9! Woohoo!)
Newlyweds

update

Last weekend was my work holiday party at the new downtown Austin Hilton. The place was nice and we got a discounted room rate for the night. The party itself was pleasant enough. It's weird to be sociable with coworkers outside of work. It takes lots of alcohol to make it go smoothly. My company provided us with dinner, a cover band, dancing, and two free drink tickets each. Once we ran out of drink tickets, a Bud Light cost $4.25. Ouch. We had planned for months to go out to Sixth Street after the party since we already had parking space and a room so it was extra convenient. But I had a cold and my meds wore off and I was ready to pass out. We got up early the next morning due to the pleasant sound of jack hammers outside the hotel window at the building site next door. So we got up, checked out, and went out for breakfast- which I always want to do but am usually too lazy to bother on the weekends. Then we went home and went back to sleep. Nobody parties like us.

I have gotten the tiniest amount of Christmas shopping done. I've gotten half of Rob's presents, his mom's, his brother's, his grandmother's and that's it. I haven't gotten anything for my family yet, and haven't a clue what to get for my sister. Her birthday party is this weekend. She's four! And impossible to shop for, cause I swear she has everything.

The Armadillo Christmas Bazaar starts this weekend. Hurray! Last year we went on the last night, Christmas Eve, which was a mistake because some of the booths were already closed and packed up, and I'd already finished all my shopping by that point. The Bazaar is one of my favorite Christmas things. All sorts of really talented artists and craftsmen have booths set up with all kinds of great things to buy from handmade gemstone jewelry, prints, vintage concert posters, handmade hammocks and soaps and nightlights... All sorts of crazy stuff, as well as live music every night and food and drinks for sale. The weekends can get kinda crazy though, so I think this year we're going to try for a week night.

Oh, and before I forget, what is up with Lindsay Lohan getting an album deal? For real. I saw her video on MTV yesterday, and once I got over the shock of MTV playing a music video, I had to cover my ears because that song is rank. And it's painfully obvious that they used all sorts of tricks in the studio to try to cover up the fact that she simply can't sing. So I told one of my coworkers today about the Lindsay album, and he was like "What next? Tara Reid?" But nope, it's worse. Paris Hilton. Stop, stop, stop hurting America girls.

When cell phones attack.

Super Size This

Greatest new invention: The Hardee's" Monster Thickburger! My favorite part? Apparently two patties, three slices of cheese, four slices of bacon and mayo weren't enough. The bun is buttered!

Now why don't we have a Hardee's in Texas dammit?

"They came untied."

A 59-year-old great-grandmother is pregnant with twins and will deliver next month, three decades after she had her tubes tied. "I started craving grapes and apples, things I don't usually crave. By then I was four months pregnant." The news was even more shocking considering Harris -- the mother of five, grandmother of 14 and great-grandmother of six -- had her tubes tied 33 years ago after the birth of her youngest child. She was divorced years ago from the twins' father, 60-year-old Raymond Harris, a heavy equipment operator. She said they will remarry before the birth.

Note to self: Do not get tubes tied in rural Georgia.

Leave Thanksgiving alone.

Yo America! I gotta tell you something. Are you listening? Seriously, this is important. Stop eating and drinking everything put in front of you. Your life is not an uninterrupted episode of Fear Factor.

I still blame Florida.

“For my safety, I know he’s the one who’s going to do the job,” retiree Rebecca Lesko said after voting for Bush in Linwood, N.J. “I think (Osama) bin Laden is scared of Bush. That’s why we haven’t been bombed yet.”

Well kids, it's all over. So what will it be? Toronto or Vancouver?

My mother was in a bank today when an armed robber came in and told everyone to get down on the floor. When the robber wasn't looking, she and several other people ran out of the bank and called the police. Now most people would consider this a frightening experience. You may hear people say "my life flashed before my eyes". But do you know what my mother says? "I wish I'd been close enough to take him down. He was skinny, I could have taken him."