April goes bye-bye.

Happy Birthday to Grandma Shirley and Aunt Martha- who have interchangeable birthdays!

Attack of the Killer Snails!

I am so freaked out about these! Giant Snails Seized From Schools. The size of a person's hand. A hand! Hand sized snails! Am I the only one feeling the hysteria?

"They are concerned the snails, about the size of a person's hand, could be transported to states with warmer climates, where they can rapidly reproduce and destroy plants." Um, and my sanity?

"In 1966, a Miami boy smuggled three Giant African Land Snails into the country. His grandmother eventually released them into a garden, and in seven years there were more than 18,000 of them. The eradication program took 10 years, according to the USDA." This is a horror movie waiting to happen.

Happy Belated Earth Day!

This was taken (without permission I guess) from a transcript of last night's Anderson Cooper 360° (he's so dreamy) on CNN.

COOPER: In case you didn't already know, today is Earth Day. For the past 34 years a day dedicated to saving the planet and fighting pollution. The environment has largely been a back burner issue in this presidential campaign. But today President Bush and Senator Kerry thought it prudent to promote their green agendas. But as we found out today talking clean air can be dirty business in raw politics. Take a look.

COOPER: To talk about the environment, President Bush traveled to coastal Maine.

GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It's a day that reminds us that we must be good stewards of the land around us.

COOPER: John Kerry flew to smoggy Houston.

SEN. JOHN KERRY (D-MA), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: We are going to set a goal that by the year 2020, 20 percent of America's electricity is going to be produced by alternative and renewable sources.

COOPER: Yet at the end of this earth day, these nice green words went up in smoke. Literally. Take a look. To reach Wells National Reserve in Maine, President Bush rode on Marine One, from the White House south lawn to Andrews Air Force Base. The ten-mile trip burned up an estimated 16 gallons of fuel. He then flew on Air Force One to Sanford, Maine. That's another 882 gallons according to our estimate. Now double that for the return trip. Also add the 2.5 gallons he used to drive 30 miles in an SUV. In all, his 20-minute long speech to shore up efforts to expand wetlands cost about 1,800 gallons of fuel. What about John Kerry?

KERRY: You see these signs...

COOPER: He flew on a Boeing 727 from New Orleans to Houston. That's an estimated 1,000 gallons of fuel. Flying back to Washington, D.C. gobbles an estimated 4,000 gallons. He rode approximately 58 miles in an SUV, that's about 5 gallons. In all his 30-minute long Earth Day speech consumed some 5,000 gallons of fuel. And that's not all. Don't forget the dozens of aides, Secret Service, local police and press corps that follow the candidates around. Today, Kerry's motorcade in Houston was about 15 cars long. Funny, isn't it? In the world of raw politics talking green certainly does require a lot of gas.

Bad Idea Jeans

"Normally I wear protection... but then I figured, when am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"

And Jack Osbourne too?

Mark your calendars kids! New York Minute, the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen extravaganza hits theaters May 7. How am I supposed to wait three whole weeks?

No Apologies

Yesterday, being the tenth anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide (or the anniversary of when it was announced, which is how I measure the years) I was hoping to have something to say. Something witty, something nostalgic, or maybe just something to mark the loss, which still feels surprisingly raw. But I didn't have anything to say. Maybe it was all said, ten years ago, when we laid around, watching MTV tributes all night long? Or maybe four days later, when Hole's album came out and briefly stunned us out of the grief? Or maybe I never had the words in the first place. In the wake of the bastard way some people chose to honor Kurt's legacy this week, it was hard to find something worthy of reading. MSN's Slate chose the right direction when they analyzed Courtney Love, her irritating antics, the shadow she'll always live in, and Live Through This, the album that healed us for a while.

new rule

Unless you are a professional aerobics instructor, do not wear sweatpants to work.

Happy Birthday!

John Curry officially becomes as old as the hills today.
Oh! And belated happy birthday to my aunt Laurie, who is one of the many, many, many March birthdays.

Not A Bile-Free Post

Since I swear that this is not an "Angel" blog, this will be my last post on the subject for some time. I try to remain mostly spoiler-free when it comes to "Angel". I know from experience, that the show can be so great when everything is a surprise. For most other shows, I'm all over the spoilers, checking IMDb and E!Online, because who really cares if the big Ross-Rachel pairing at the end of "Friends" is out of the bag?. It's become really hard to check out the Slayage links and avoid any spoilery ones. And this is especially true considering that the damned show has been cancelled. So I'm hoping for a really great series finale, right? Full of lots of surprises, unexpected twists and guest stars. But it's really freakin' hard to be spoiler free when you have MSN, IMDb and TV Guide trumpeting their headline: Sarah Michelle Gellar Out of 'Angel' Finale. It wasn't enough for them to ruin last year's "Buffy" finale by spewing all over the net about how Spike was going to be on season five of "Angel" and therefore couldn't exactly die in the final "Buffy: episode? No, I guess that wasn't enough.

It's Better Than Yours

Finally, in non-Angel related news: Feel free to admire my new daisy!

I'm Going to Hell

Do you really want to feed the children? C'mon, you can tell me the truth. Seriously. We're all friends here. For the cost of a cup of coffee a day, you could save Angel instead!

Blazing the Oregon Trail

And big congratulations to Shug and Kim, who took Portland up on their offer!

I Love Jordan Catalano Always

One day I will learn my lesson about wearing shirts with words on them. Every time some idiot asks "what does your shirt say?" so that I can read aloud to them, or every time they stare at it and read it aloud for themselves, I swear again, no more wearing shirts with words. And then today, one of the office creeps (yeah, you heard me, not the, but one of the) leaned in so that he can pause three inches from my chest to read the charity slogan across my boobs. And no, the print isn't that small. I might just be cured of t-shirts.

Mom sent me this link today. Teenagers are so much cooler than they used to be.

Generic Tivo and Torture Devices

The world seems to be turning slower. There's poor Martha Stewart, there's OJ Simpson stealing cable, there's The Apprentice, and that's it.

I had my bottom braces put on Tuesday. Why didn't anyone tell me how incredibly painful this process is? I haven't had anything good to eat since Monday, and I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself to enjoy the milkshakes I get to have. In addition to the bottom braces, and banding one of my top molars (because I broke the bracket), my orthodontist installed something called 'buttons' on the inside of my top row of teeth. Supposedly the buttons are so they can attach rubber bands later and stretch my jaw into different directions, but I'm becoming more and more convinced that she's a sadistic psycho, and I'm her Frankenstein experiment.

We finally got digital cable and the DVR from Time Warner. The DVR (Time Warner's version of the Tivo) is my new best friend. I have it recording Scrubs all season since the NBC idiots moved it to Tuesday nights, so we never catch it anymore. I'm also recording Significant Others the new show from Bravo, just because the previews looked good. The DVR is so easy to use, and we can watch our shows whenever we want, instead of being unable to leave the house because Angel is on. And no, Time Warner doesn't pay me to say this stuff. Wait until I get the first bill, then we won't be best friends anymore.

Nuptials Across America

My new best friend, 26 year-old Green party member, and mayor of New Paltz, New York, Jason West is joining the movement. N.Y. Mayor Marries Gay Couples.

Attack of the Spongemonkeys

We finally know exactly who's responsible for perpetrating this crime against humanity. Best Article of the Day: The Creatures from the Sandwich Shop.

Note to self: Search closet for ripped jeans, doc martens and Halloween makeup.

David Bowie, Primus, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, and 311 are all headed to Austin. Dude! What year is this again?

San Francisco Love

The San Francisco Chronicle has the Best Article of the Day. This is an awesome idea and guaranteed to make you feel like the great person you are. If you wish to participate, I suggest Flowers for Al and Don. All you need is a Paypal account. (This project has been floating around the web for a few days, but today's links were found at pamie's site.)

Keep it away from me!

Great. Thanks HBO. Now I just have to know. What the hell is up with Ben Affleck's rug in Daredevil? Has it always been that obvious? That thing is really freaking me out.

Robbed

The soulless bastards at the WB are cancelling Angel. Cancelling Angel and keeping Charmed? What kind of insane troll logic is that?

In the words of the great Joss Whedon: "Remember the words of the poet: 'Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.'"