Stodgy Idiots - TV Edition

Dear crack smoking Emmy members-

What is your damage?

15 nominations for "Desperate Housewives" but only 11 for "Deadwood"?

Three "Housewives" nominated for best actress but no women from "Deadwood"?

And "Medium" isn't bad at all, but Patricia Arquette? For best dramatic actress? Really? She's no Calamity Jane.

And The "The West Wing"? C'mon! That show hasn't been good since Sam and Sorkin left. Sure it has the best cast this side of 1877, but the writers are killing them.

"Everybody Loves Raymond"? Why must you beat dead horses with gold statues?

And to top it off, you completely snub "Gilmore girls", "Nip/Tuck", and "Veronica Mars", three of the best shows on television.

I think I hate you.

Sincerely-

Kandis

Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been "missing" it, Bob.

Survey finds average U.S. worker spends two hours a day surfing the Web, running errands or staring into space.

Office Space has been out since 1994 and they're just now figuring this out?

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation?

By the way, I disagree with the results of that survery (as I write this from work).

7/11

Happy Birthday to the slurpee! Free slurpees for one and all.

Our new red sofa was delivered over the weekend. Pictures to come. We hung new bathroom fixtures in our upstairs guest bath, re-arranged our bedroom and our hanging pictures. AND I made dinner twice in one weekend, which is like, unheard of. Oh, and we forgot Brian's birthday, cause we suck. I'm tired.

Edited to add:

"Hi. My name is Jin and I'm a net addict. It's been 23 days since my last chat."

Where was this clinic when I was a chat addicted college student? I might have actually graduated if I'd gotten some electric shock therapy.

Bejing Cinic Administers to Online Addicts

Speaking of unbalanced...

From E! Online:

Tom Cruise telling Today host Matt Lauer during a Friday interview that Brooke Shields "doesn't understand" the history of psychiatry and that there is no such thing as a "chemical unbalance." The actor also expressed his belief that "vitamins and exercise" can cure most problems.

Would someone please unleash a bipolar homicidal maniac on him already? Crazy Cruise could ply him with some One-a-Days and see how that goes?

Pimp My House?

Today when Rob was trying to lower the garage door, it came off it's tracks. And then when he tried to muscle it back on the tracks, the door itself started to break apart. So we paid $150 for a guy to come over, give us an estimate, tell us our door and it's pre-1991 automatic opener are basically dangerous and worthless. At least he secured the door for the night (although several of the panels are hanging askew). Tomorrow we get to pay him a small fortune to replace the entire door and it's assorted tracks and springs and such. We then won't be able to afford a new garage door opener for a while. As it is we really can't even afford to add the optional four windows to the door, but we're doing it anyway. It looks so bland without them.

And don't even getting me started on our fence...

Home ownership sucks.

There's a chick in my office who will not stop laughing at her desk. Apparently she never got the memo about how when you're IMing instead of working, you should try to be discreet.

Pssst

This is the most moving thing I've seen recently. Got a secret? I wish I was this artistic. Or you know, had a secret.

Crazy Cruise must be stopped. Free Katie!

Animal Farm

This Barn Swallow has made herself at home on our front porch.

I made Rob stand on the step ladder to find out what she's got in there. Looks like sometime soon, we'll have five other Barn Swallows on our front porch.

And this is Millie. She's a two year old chocolate lab who joined our family last weekend. We got her from one of my coworkers who has two kids and two dogs and didn't feel like she had the time to spend with all of them. Millie is very eager to please and loves people. She follows Rob around all day long.

And the birthday countdown begins.

I am now in possession of four center orchestra seats for the John Prine concert at the Majestic Theatre in Dallas on September 24th (one week before my birthday)!

Guess that means we won't be going to ACL Fest since it's the same weekend. ACL Fest would be fun, but the Majestic is air conditioned. Not a tough choice for September in Texas. Only four months away!

Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Dagger of Patience.

Get yours.

Dude. That is messed up.

Just like the Lost finale last night, this 124 lb. blue catfish is freaking me out.

Have some pride Aileen Wuornos.

The following is an IM conversation we had at work while eavesdropping on our new trainwreck of an employee who we've uncharitably dubbed Aileen Wuornos. The woman spends half of her day making personal phone calls, and she's so indiscrete about it that all of us around her now know way more than we'd prefer to about her life, her deadbeat ex who has custody of her kids but lives with his mom, her court dates, police reports, the fact that she has nowhere to live, no car, and unpaid utilities. Every day she gives me more to add to my ongoing list of the Top 100 Things I Wouldn't Want My Co-workers to Know About Me. And yeah, we're mean.

Scott says:
what is the point of this conversation?

Kandis says:
I'm loving her description "it still hadn't showed up"

Scott says:
yeah

Kandis says:
the point is blaming the city transit system for an entire day of missed work because her life is such a mess she has no car

Scott says:
this is tragic

Scott says:
lol

Kandis says:
I can't believe she is spending THIS long on the phone with Capitol Metro

Kandis says:
don't they have work to do too?

Scott says:
this is going around in circles!

Scott says:
no kidding!

Scott says:
this is hilarious

Scott says:
isn't there a question on the application about reliable transportation?

Scott says:
is taking the bus to B.F.E. reliable?

Kandis says:
I don't know if there is a question

Kandis says:
they can't discriminate against white trash Americans

Scott says:
lol

Scott says:
is she getting documentation that the bus didn't show?

Kandis says:
yep

Kandis says:
as if that will excuse her

Scott says:
oh man

Scott says:
if it's not one thing, it's another

Kandis says:
her whole life is a mess

Scott says:
yep

Scott says:
except she has this bitchin' job

Kandis says:
which she might keep if she ever learns to stay off the phone

Scott says:
hahaha

Scott says:
of course, she doesn't have a cel

Kandis says:
dude, she barely has a sofa to sleep on and shoes on her feet

Yes I Guess They Oughta Name a Drink After You

Holy crap! John Prine is coming to ACL Fest! Can I just tell you how beyond thrilled I am? So far they've just released the artist lineup and have three day passes on sale. But last time Rob and I went to ACL Fest (2003) we didn't even make it through an entire day, therefore, three days is out of the question. So they need to hurry, hurry, hurry and release the schedule and the one day passes. Who else wants to go?

I've already used up all but one of my sick days. I'm also kinda broke until Friday. And, I know for a fact that if I came face to face with Bill Clinton, I would cry like a basketcase. But if all of those things weren't true, I'd be at Book People on Thursday. Anyone who wants to be my new best friend can feel free to pick up a signed copy for my birthday (which is only five months away.)

President William Jefferson Clinton will be signing his memoir, MY LIFE at BookPeople, Publisher Weekly’s Bookseller of the Year, on Thursday May 5, starting at 10 am.

so, so busy- here's why

Things I'm obsessed with and won't shut-up about:

• "Deadwood"
• "Lost"
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (the hell?)
• "Veronica Mars" (3 episodes until we know who murdered Lilly!)
• My hair
• Teeth whitening products (my braces came off! I have straight teeth!)
• Dogs
• "Gilmore Girls"
• Home décor (and yes, we still love our new house)
• How much every 'Apprentice' contestant sucks
• "I Want a Famous Face" on MTV

Things I'm so damned tired of hearing about:

• Paris Hilton
• Lindsey Lohan
• Norah Jones
• The demise of Nick and Jessica
• That damn mystery island on "Days of Our Lives"
• Chihuahuas
• Trilogy work orders (don’t ask)
• No carb/low carb (for God’s sake people, it’s just bread)

If I had $160 to blow on anything? I would buy a pink and black tankini with coordinating board shorts from Eddie Bauer. Cause I am just that shallow.

Tell me what you don't like about yourself Chris Gaines.

Team-

I have to start that way, because that's how I start every email at work these days, and it's a crazy tough habit to break. I've been thinking in the last week that I miss Garth Brooks. Yeah, I said it. I am a Garth Brooks fan. I celebrate his entire catalogue. And I just wish he still made music.

And on the subject of people who've dropped off the face of the Earth, Julie Warner should really get more work. She was fantastic on Nip/Tuck. Luckily she didn't have to share much screen time with Julian McMahon, because he's so pretty that no one would have noticed she was in the scene too. But she was seriously very good. Rocket Man will never be the same.

The Liberal Agenda, One Year Later

Happy Birthday Air America! Now kick Randi Rhodes to the curb and you'll be golden.