This is my ouch face.

I poked a hole in my nose. Happy birthday Sally! Now it's your turn!

A Letter to Santa

Cooper's Christmas wish list as dictated to his 11 year-old aunt. God forbid Santa leave some non-shiny coins in his stocking.

Having a bad day?

This makes everything better.

The Little Missus

I've been giving some thought to weddings and marriage since this week I celebrate my eleventh wedding anniversary (I may even let Rob celebrate too). And then this post by Andrea Grimes got me thinking (and okay, a little bit defensive) about the long-held, and somewhat outdated tradition of women taking their husband's name when marrying. I made my decision a long time ago, and have occasionally felt twinges of guilt (as good, privileged liberals are wont to do) about the possibility of having done a disservice to the sisterhood. But then I remind myself, thanks to hard fought battles of the women who came before me, it was my own damn choice to make.

I am a third-wave feminist. I was raised Unitarian, by a single mother, and I majored in Anthropology. And I chose to take my husband’s last name when I got married.

In my defense, I got married at 22. I think it’s downright miraculous that I’ve stuck with any decision I made at 22, including my choice in husband. I often think about all the things I’d do differently if I had my wedding to do over again. I’d pick a different dress, possibly a different venue, and there’s no way in hell I’d do that damned garter toss again. But strangely enough, taking my husband’s name isn’t one of those things.

Given my background, I grew up knowing that taking my husband’s name when marrying was my choice to make. Since I was one of the first to get married among my friends, I didn’t even have a peer sample to compare. My mother, who’s been married three times (don’t tell her I told you that), has taken his name, been a hyphenate, and is now sporting her maiden name for good.

I don’t think Rob cared either way if I took his name. To be honest, I don’t recall ever asking him. If he’d had a definite opinion, I hope I would have at least listened politely. But even at 22, his opinion on this wouldn’t have carried much weight. It was always my decision to make.

Many factors went into my decision.

• My parents divorced when I was a baby and I’ve never had a relationship with my father or his family, yet I carried his name for 22 years.


• Maybe because of that, I was never particularly attached to the name. It wasn’t anything special, nor anything especially horrid.


• It wasn't a difficult name to pronounce, yet people always seemed to stumble over it.


• I am alive and vital and so very easy to find on the internet, regardless of what name you know me by.


• There’s one benefit to getting married at 22: Before I became the internet sensation I am today, I was too young to have done anything especially noteworthy to give that name any added cache.


• Having a uniquely spelled first name (silly as it is) was always my more memorable quality and I’ve always identified more with that.


• Maybe if I’d had my last name changed to my mother’s family name when I was a kid, I would have felt differently.


• I had and have a far stronger relationship with the family I married into, than the one who’s name I was born with.

I still worry sometimes (when I forget there are so many more important things to worry about) that some people will make incorrect assumptions about me and my values and background because of the fact that I carry my husband’s name. But never fear ladies, I didn’t lose my chance to fight the patriarchy. I just fought my own.

Life List (100 Things I Want to Do)

Vacation in Hawaii
Take a photography class
Meet John Prine
Travel Scotland
See castles
Eat an In-N-Out burger
Have dinner in Little Italy
Go shopping at the Alight store in NYC
Have a Nathan’s hot dog on Coney Island
Visit Bremerton, Washington
Go on a cruise
Pay off all of our credit cards
Have my kitchen remodeled
Buy a Volkswagen Beetle
Have a swimming pool
Write a novel
Drive across the U.S. in an RV
Go to San Diego Comic Con
See a Broadway show
Take Cooper to Disney World (Planned! June 2013!)
Have a picture taken of Rob, Cooper and me that I really love
See the sunflowers in Tuscany
Open my own or work in a book store
Hire a maid service
Find a job I can do from home
Take the Jack the Ripper tour in London
Go on a trip with my mother and sister
Have an elfa closet
Become a professional organizer
Visit the M&M store in Las Vegas
Buy something at the Tiffany store in NYC
Go whale watching
Visit Deadwood South Dakota
Quit my job
Take Cooper to the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis
Open my own summer camp
Get my nose pierced
Resurect Jello Pudding Pops
Get a passport
Keep a plant alive
Find the perfect little black dress
Go to my high school reunion
Get back in touch with my half-brother
Go to the beach with friends
Fly first-class
Read 100 new books in a year
Be a vegetarian for a month
Go on a dinosaur dig
Adopt from foster care
Read the complete works of Zelda Fitzgerald
Go on an Etsy shopping spree
Spend a week by myself with no obligations
Learn to prepare a vegetable I never thought I liked
Take a road trip to Dollywood
Spend a month in the French quarter
Pose for boudoir portraits
Eat bread in Paris
Finish my college degree
Ride a mechanical bull
Inspire someone to do something new
Sunbathe in the Italian Riviera
Sleep more
Attend the Highland Games in North Carolina
Watch everything in my Netflix queue
Rent a beach house with my family
Take Cooper camping
Have Butterbeer at Universal Studio’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter (Planned! June 2013!)
Learn to pack light
Host a dinner party
Sit on a jury
Perform a karaoke solo
Write my will
See the Fall leaves in New England
Teach my sister to apply makeup
Throw a Halloween party
Have a pint in an Irish pub
Have a professional photographer take my twitter avatar photo
Make homemade ice cream
Have dinner at the Commander's Palace in New Orleans
Watch AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time (seen 28 so far)
Have a movie marathon weekend
Take a second honeymoon
Live in Central Austin
Rock pink hair
Wear a bikini, without having a "bikini body"
Make a living working less than 40 hours a week
Get to name an OPI nail polish color
Become a more mindful consumer
Spend more time with my grandmother
Take a vacation every Summer
Own every color of Converse
Get a sleeve tattoo of my favorite desserts
Take a pottery class
See Dolly Parton in concert
Have a big window-seat for reading and daydreaming
Be an extra in a movie or TV show
Send Cooper to college
Spend a weekend at a spa
Overcome my low-level OCD
Retire