Merry Christmas Y'all

I don't want to be the one to tell them... but that present? Is actually for Rob.

Five Steps to a New You

My friend Nicole asked me my secret, and I thought I'd share it with you as well dear reader.

Kandis' Foolproof Method for Reaching Six Months Pregnant Without Gaining Any Weight*:

Step 1: Start out really chubby. So chubby in fact that your doctor tells you that you don't actually need to gain any weight while pregnant.

Step 2: Spend the next 12-14 weeks so miserably nauseous that the idea of eating, makes you want to dry heave. This step should actually cause you to lose 5-7 pounds.

Step 3: After the 3 months of all encompassing nausea, you will not regain your previous appetite. Even when hungry, nothing will ever sound good. You will be completely incapable of choosing restaurants to dine at. And even once you've ordered at a restaurant, by the time your food arrives, you may not want it anymore.

Step 4: Combine step 3 with pounds of enlarged uterus, amniotic fluid, umbilical cord, and of course, growing fetus- crowding your stomach. This will cause you to get extremely full very quickly.

Step 5: If you followed step 1 correctly, then your body will have trained sufficiently for your current diet of caffeine free sodas and Little Debbie products so that there isn't a discernible increase in caloric intake over your pre-pregnancy diet.

Disclaimer: Okay, so maybe it isn't foolproof. Every woman's body is different. And of course, no licensed nutritionist, doctor, or even husband would probably recommend this method.

*Participant was not financially compensated in any way for this testimonial.

This is what Christmas is about.

It's that magical time of year again. That special time when Little Debbie Zebra cakes come in the shape of Christmas trees.

Christmas shopping has begun.

Baby's first onesie.

Never leave an unattended box.

It's a BOY alien!

Dear Blue October,

"Hate Me"?

Not a problem.

Thanks,
Kandis

Scenes from a Fair

We went to the State Fair of Texas last weekend in Dallas. We had corn dogs, turkey legs, cotton candy, overpriced beer (none for me of course) and frozen yogurt. We saw lots of smelly animals, amazing crafts, and my mother and sister rode a couple of rides on the midway. Rob got conned into buying a sushi maker for the low, low price of $45.99.

My favorite animal at the state fair was Boris II. He had his own palace of a pen outside the pig enclosure. Boris actually isn’t a pig, he is an 1,147 pound Yorkshire-Hampshire boar. He sleeps 23 ½ hours a day and eats 25 pounds of food a day. When we saw him, he was laying down eating out of his huge bowl with his eyes closed. I’m not even sure he was awake. Isn’t he awesome?


There was an impressive assortment of crafts on display in the Creative Arts and Food and Fiber buildings. Tons of beautiful quilts, handmade sweaters, matchstick mansions and jars and jars of various preserves and baked goods. The best by far? This cross-stitched masterpiece of the one and only, Clay Aiken.

And the activity that occupied me the longest was this guy. This was the crossing guard at our entrance gate. He had the hardest time getting people to walk on the crosswalk. And when they wouldn’t listen to polite requests, he would begin yelling “CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK!” until he was practically up in people’s faces screaming. He was so insanely drunk with power that I just knew a fistfight was going to break out at any moment. At one point, the older lady sitting next to us on the curb watching him turned to me and said “what an asshole”. It was so fascinating that I watched him for about an hour. But to my disappointment, no one got shanked.


And the last photo is actually from my Grandma’s house after the fair. My sister Abby is holding our brand new cousin Landen. She’s getting practice for when her new niece (or nephew) arrives.





Edited to add: My mother reminded me that I neglected to mention another spectacular "craft". The statue of Marilyn Monroe, carved entirely out of butter.

the season

Yes, we're that kind of neighbor.

representing all of the food groups

From the State Fair of Texas brochure:

Deep Fried Cosmopolitan -- A fried pastry filled with cheesecake and topped with a sweet and tangy cranberry glaze and a lime wedge. Served on a stick.

Donkey Tails -- Large all-beef franks, slit on one side and generously stuffed with sharp Cheddar cheese, wrapped in a large flour tortilla and fried until golden brown. Served with mustard chili sauce or Ruth's salsa.

Fernie's Fried Choco-rito -- A flour tortilla stuffed with marshmallows, coconut, candy bar pieces, caramel morsels and cinnamon then dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried to a crispy, crunchy outside and sweet, gooey inside. Drizzled with honey and topped with whipped cream.

Fernie's Fried Mac-n-cheese -- Texas-sized bites of macaroni and cheese, covered with a layer of garlic- and herb-flavored bread crumbs and deep fried until crispy outside and hot and cheesy inside. Served on a stick with a side of dipping sauces.

Fried Praline Perfection -- Plump coconut and pecan pralines, battered and fried to a rich golden crust. Served warm with powdered sugar.

Fried Coke -- Smooth spheres of Coca-Cola-flavored batter that are deep fried, drizzled with pure Coke fountain syrup, topped with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry. Served in souvenir contoured glasses.












So what are you eating this weekend?

More questionable State Fair food items can be found here.

second alien photo

13 weeks and it looks like we have a thumbsucker.

Duck!

Someone found my blog by searching for “teen a** ducking”. (Yes. Ducking.) They used MSN to search and apparently “ass” was enough to get them my page. They were in Turkey, of course.

Why is it that everyone who finds my blog by searching for something dirty, is in some repressed country where they'd probably be stoned just for Googling the words? It's the most bizarre phenomenon.

Veronica Mars "Welcome Wagon"

"I ignored all of the spoiler alerts, which I know is kinda douche-baggy."

So glad I'm not a douche bag.

Well they still managed to fit a lot into the show, considering it was supposed to be a primer for new viewers. I don't think it was too slow. The mystery of the week was fairly typical, while still setting us up nicely for the first big mystery arc. And hey! I hope Keith doesn't get killed by exposure or wild animals. But couldn't they have left the theme song alone?

Poor Mac. Poor Dick. Poor Kendall! She went to jail for Cormac Fitzpatrick and that's how he repays her? Damn.

What was in the briefcase? We've been waiting all summer to know! Cash. Really? Wow. Kinda boring.

There wasn't nearly enough Logan. But I was left with the feeling that it must have been a really long summer for Veronica if Logan has been that broody all this time.

Mac's new roommate Parker? I don't hate her, but she's way too much like Buffy's first college roommate. The one who turned out to be a demon.

I don't hate Piz yet either, but I really do hate his hair.

And bring back the LeBaron!

one small request

Dear Filmmakers in Austin-

If you must use a wide flat bed truck to film a driving scene, taking up both lanes of 360, flanked by a police escort, is it too much to ask that you not film during evening rush hour?

Thanks-
Kandis

alien photo

This is a picture of our baby at nine weeks. Wait. Did I tell you we’re having a baby? Oh. Well in case I forgot to mention it… we’re having a baby in April! So Rob helpfully put a red box around the baby in the picture, since there was some disagreement about its exact location. I won’t tell you which one of us was wrong and which one was right.
We should have another picture at the end of November. Hopefully by then, the baby will look less like an alien peanut and more like a regular alien.

so close to calling in ugly

My doctor has recommended removing products with salicylic acid from my skin care regimen. So I gave up my great Clean & Clear astringent for Dickinson's witch hazel which smells really bad and doesn’t seem to do a thing for me. And I gave up my awesome life-saving Aveeno Clear Complexion moisturizer for a non-complexion clearing version. And guess what? My skin looks like hell. I am approaching my very first 29th birthday, and I have the skin of a hormone raging teenager.

So does anyone have any recommendations for products that keep your skin clear, but don’t contain harsh ingredients like salicylic acid?

Thanks.

benefit of owning a Saturn

I was walking through the parking garage after work yesterday and my car didn't seem to be where I remembered leaving it. And I had this moment of panic when I thought my car must have been stolen.

And then I realized, "wait, why would someone steal my car?"

Cupcake Courier

Oh, and this isn't on my wishlist, but I totally need one.

reminder

Did you know my birthday is only one week away? Aren't you glad I have a wishlist?

A Buffy List

In honor of my friend Brian making his very first journey through the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" DVDs, I'm listing my favorite top 13 episodes. I actually tried really hard to whittle this down to a top ten. I simply couldn't do it.

"Once More With Feeling"
"Passion"
"Hush"
"Something Blue"
"Graduation Part 1/Graduation Part 2"
"Helpless"
"The Gift"
"The Prom"
"Fool for Love"
"Selfless"
"Crush"
"The Body"
"Prophecy Girl"

Hey Ya

This is my new favorite song.

Ann Richards

September 1, 1933 - September 13, 2006

Back from Montana.

We returned from our Montana adventure very late last night. The wedding was beautiful, the weather was gorgeous and the mountains were amazing. I was hardly near a computer for a solid week which means I didn't even have a headache (And is also why I didn't jump on the whole Suri Cruise thing. Duh Sally.)

Pictures anyone?

Gone to Montana.

Tomorrow morning, at the ungodly hour of 5am, we're headed off to the Airport. By 3pm we should be in Hamilton, Montana for the rest of the week with Rob's family. And then this weekend, we'll drive to Jackson, Montana where Rob's brother John, and John's fiance will be getting married. The high temperature shouldn't get out of the low 70's. Maybe I'll send you a postcard.

all TV, all the time

It’s that time again! You know, the time of year when I get inordinately excited about Fall TV shows? Here’s what I’ll be doing this Fall instead of having a life:

“Bones” (premieres Aug. 30): Procedural drama, but instead of cops, it’s an FBI agent and a forensic anthropologist. What can I say? I love David Boreanaz. It’s actually a nice change to see him getting to go out in the daylight. This show has a pretty good supporting cast. And Emily Deschanel is growing on me.

“Nip/Tuck” (premieres Sept. 5): Two plastic surgeons in Miami and their screwed up family. It’s shallow. It’s seamy. It’s twisted. It’s awesome. I’m a little concerned about the advance buzz about way too many guest stars. But the Carver is gone, and I can’t wait!

“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (premieres Sept. 18): Behind the scenes of an “Saturday Night Live” type variety show. It’s Aaron Sorkin y’all! Show some respect. This can’t be anything but great, it’s just not possible.

“My Name is Earl” (premieres Sept. 21): Loser wins lottery and tries to make up for his past wrongs. Everyone on this show is freakin’ hysterical, and I hope Jaime Pressly wins the Emmy. Who ever thought that sentence would ever be uttered?

“The Office” (premieres Sept. 21): The office of Dunder-Mifflin paper company. Jim kissed Pam! He told her that he loves her! But she’s marrying Roy! I can’t even tell you how much I’m dying to know where they go from there.

“Ugly Betty” (premieres Sept. 22): Based on the telenova about an ugly ducking in the fashion industry. The advance word on this makes it sound very The Devil Wears Prada. But I love America Ferrera (ever since Real Women Have Curves) so I’m thinking of trying this one out.

“Gilmore Girls” (premieres Sept. 26): Abnormally close mother and daughter live in quaint Connecticut town. Lorelai and Luke called off the wedding! Then she slept with Christopher! I’m actually kind of glad the Palladinos are gone (writers/creators Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino). The last two seasons have been lacking and a fresh show runner might just save this sinking ship.

“One Tree Hill” (premieres Sept. 27): The lives and loves of high school students in Tree Hill North Carolina. I don’t care what you say, I love this show. It’s a ridiculous and shallow teen soap opera, and I can not stop watching it. At the end of the season, there were at least four different girls who could be pregnant, and at least three people who could be dead. It was that good of a cliffhanger.

“Veronica Mars” (premieres Oct. 3): Teenage detective noir. Veronica is going to college! With Wallace and Mac! And Logan... sigh. Last season was uneven, but I still think this is the second best drama on TV. And I'll be brief now, because we all know I won't be in the future.

“Lost” (premieres Oct. 4): Forty plane crash survivors stranded on one creepy island. The hatch done got blowed up! Why is Charlie so creepy? Will Kate ever choose between Jack and Sawyer? What happened to the polar bear? And Lostzilla?

“30 Rock” (premieres Oct. 11): Yep, it’s completely ridiculous that NBC has not one, but two shows about an "SNL" type variety show. This one is a half hour sitcom written by Tina Fey and starring Tracy Morgan and Alec Baldwin. I’m gonna give it a shot.

My 25 Favorite TV Characters Ever

Inspired by James Gunn and Joss Whedon’s postings at Whedonesque:

Using their rules:

No puppets or cartoons (because then it’s just Daria, She-Ra, and Cookie Monster)

No mini-series (because there isn’t room for the entire casts of Lonesome Dove and Angels in America)

No reality show people (that means no Anderson Cooper on “The Mole”)

All characters must be regulars on the show (rules out all those people who came on just to improve flagging shows, like Robert Downey Jr. on “Ally McBeal” and Tom Selleck and Paul Rudd on “Friends”)

1) Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

2) Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), DEADWOOD

3) Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), THE X-FILES

4) Rayanne Graff (AJ Langer), MY SO-CALLED LIFE

5) Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), THE OFFICE

6) Chris Stevens (John Corbett), NORTHERN EXPOSURE

7) Reva Shayne Lewis (Kim Zimmer), GUIDING LIGHT

8) Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring), VERONICA MARS

9) Sam Seaborne (Rob Lowe), THE WEST WING

10) Christian Troy (Julian McMahon), NIP/TUCK

11) Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert), ROSEANNE

12) Spike (James Marsters), BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

13) David Addison (Bruce Willis), MOONLIGHTING

14) Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham), GILMORE GIRLS

15) Doug Ross (George Clooney), ER

16) Joy Turner (Jaime Pressly), MY NAME IS EARL

17) Hawkeye Pierce (Alan Alda), MASH

18) Angelus (David Boreanaz), ANGEL

19) Fox Mulder (David Duchovny, THE X-FILES

20) Perry Cox (John C. McGinley), SCRUBS

21) CJ Cregg (Allison Janney), THE WEST WING

22) Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), VERONICA MARS

23) Lorenzo Lamas (Reno Raines), RENEGADE

24) Karen Walker (Megan Mullally), WILL & GRACE

25) Billy Bob Davis (Billy Bob Thornton), HEARTS AFIRE

This was actually a really tough list because there are several shows that it’s nearly impossible to narrow down to single characters. Really, the casts of “My So-Called Life”, “The West Wing”, “Northern Exposure” and “Veronica Mars” are so uniformly excellent that I wanted to include every single person. But I persevered. It’s a tough job, but someone had to do it.

Hello 1990! How ya been?

You can always count on Urban Outfitters to bring back an unnecessary trend.

You Are How You Camped

What your enjoyment of summer camp, or lack of, says about your character.

According to that article, I should be a CEO or a governor.

Where did I go wrong?

Maybe next year it will be a mandolin.

Today is Rob's birthday. Since he's only 31, I'm not making as big of a deal out of it as we did last year. This morning he did get to open the banjo I got for him. So if you happen to be in the vicinity of our house and it sounds like Deliverance, you'll know why. Happy Birthday killer!

what Fridays were made for

Ever wanted to bend Dubya in half, whip him around by the foot, bash him in the head, or watch him free fall through space?

Now you can, just by manipulating your mouse.

One of my friends dubbed this link "immensely satisfying".

Dear new Curra’s Grill at the Parmer-McNeil Plaza,

Your food is pretty good. Four triangles is a little skimpy for the quesadillas, but your queso is tasty, and your fajitas are generous.

But I gotta tell you… you don’t look good.

I don’t know if it’s because you just opened about a week ago, but you’re kind of bleak. Not one piece of art on the walls, hard plastic chairs and laminate benches, metal tables, metal trim, metal ceiling and giant metal fan. It’s all way too modern and Scandinavian. It makes for a very cold and hard atmosphere, not at all fun and relaxing. And considering that there’s a brand new Chipotle with equally stark décor opening in the same shopping center- it’s an ill-conceived business decision.

Oh! And your metal patio furniture sitting in the July Texas sun isn’t such a great idea either.

Please consider copying your Burnet Road sister. She’s cozy and colorful, with lots of murals and soft lighting. Everything a Mexican restaurant should be. Trust me, I eat out way too much.

Sincerely,
Kandis

Seriously, where is Suri Cruise?

Tired of waiting? Make your own Suri!

because Sally complained about my neglected blog

Here are pictures from last night's dinner at Ichiban. We took our friend Brian out for a belated birthday dinner. These photos were taken with his camera phone (which explains the blurriness). But what is my hair doing I ask you?

a confession

Since most of my favorite TV shows are on hiatus for the summer, I find myself flipping around with nothing to watch way too often. This week I managed to catch the “Dharma and Greg” pilot on the WE network, and now I’m hooked on “Dharma and Greg”. I DVR it and watch all four episodes that air daily. For a typical sitcom, it’s not bad at all. And I really like that crazy Jenna Elfman. She should get more work.

So in addition to my new “Dharma and Greg” fixation, I also find myself watching movies that I’ve seen too many times before. You know how when you’re just flipping around, there are some movies that seem to be on TV all the time? And there are some movies that I find myself watching every single time they’re on. Even if I’ve seen them a hundred times before. Even if I own them on DVD. Even if they’re actually bad movies.

Some of these are really embarrassing, so if it’s ever brought up, I’m going to deny ever having said that.

• Bring It On
• The American President
• Office Space
• Where the Heart Is
• Dazed and Confused
• 10 Things I Hate About You
• The Object of My Affection
• Bend It Like Beckham
• She’s All That
• That Thing You Do!
• Dogma
• Footloose
• Pleasantville
• Fried Green Tomatoes
• The Matchmaker

And God help me if they run a teen marathon of Bring It On, She's All That, and 10 Things I Hate About You (it's been known to happen). Then I wouldn't leave the house all day.

Which ridiculous movies can you not stop watching every time they come on?

I wanna be Chicken for a day.

As you can see, sunning herself on a window sil is a full time job for our Chicken. It's hard out there for a cat.

Deadwood "Tell Your God to Ready for Blood"

"Has the body been eaten yet? Don't let the body be eaten."

Matt Zoller Seitz wrote in the Newark Star-Ledger that "Deadwood" is: "the greatest dramatic series in the history of American television."

And that is not an exaggeration.

The third season of "Deadwood" kicked off in classic fashion: a murder, a brawl, half naked prostitutes, and the most eloquent profanity laced dialogue.

And you know what? It's way too complicated to explain. So you're just going to have to watch the show.

An Inconvenient Truth

This weekend we saw two movies in the theater, which is completely unheard of for us. We always plan to do that kind of thing, when there are multiple movies out that are worth seeing, and we can't decide between them. But then our laziness wins out and we don't make it out of our pajamas.

The first movie we saw was Thank You for Smoking, the satire about the tobacco industry. We saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse where they ran old smoking ads on the screen before the movie started. It was like seeing scenes from an alternate universe. It's been so long that we'd actually forgotten how ridiculous smoking ads were. And when you see Fred Flintstone touting the benefits of Winstons, you wonder how the cigarette companies were ever able to claim they weren't targeting children. Everyone in the movie (with the exception of Katie Holmes) was really good. Aaron Eckhart was mesmerizingly effective as a "sultan of spin" for a lobby group representing the interests of big tobacco. Katie Holmes wasn't awful, but post-"Dawson's Creek", I always get the feeling she's just playing at being a grown-up. She 's continually cast in femme fatale type rolls, but how can I buy that of a woman who can best be described as "coltish"?

The second movie we saw was An Inconvenient Truth, the new Al Gore documentary about the environment. In its second week of release it has earned $1.33 million, even though it's only playing in 77 theaters. The film does suffer from the same problem that plagued Al Gore's presidential campaign- too many damned numbers. It gets dry in places where the statistics and graphs chronicling the amount of CO2 in the air over centuries nearly induces catatonia. But the movie becomes exceptionally effective when he's able to show photos of places like Mt. Kilimanjaro and Glacier National Park and you can see side by side, the amount of ice that covered those places 20 years ago and how much less ice covers them today. Gore makes an excellent teacher and he's passionate enough about his subject to really induce the liberal guilt (okay, we get it, we'll buy the energy efficient light bulbs and a Toyota). The film also does a great job of painting Al Gore as a lone maverick, traveling the globe on a mission to educate the world about the catastrophic threat of global warning- city by city. I found myself buying the image (but seriously, like the man carries his own luggage?) and I think he might just be a hero.

Today is a bad day.

I had a pretty bad case of insomnia last night. And due to my severe lack of sleep, I'm pretty out of it today. So out of it, that I put on two different shoes this morning and didn't even notice until I got to work. Luckily, they're the exact same style. However, one of them is black and the other is brown. So my crazy is on full display today.

Today is a good day.

Oh, and I almost forgot!

Also released today: Dispatches from the Edge: A Memoir of War, Disasters, and Survival by my first love, Anderson Cooper.

I am ridiculously excited.

Taking the Long Way

I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

It's finally here! The Dixie Chicks new album is released today. I pre-ordered mine from Amazon so it shipped yesterday. The Chicks seem to be getting a ton of press coverage, as well as being named part of Time magazine's 100 most influential people of the 20th century, and heavily featured on last night's season finale of "Medium". And then Jerry Springer spent part of the morning talking about them on his Air America show and urging people to buy the album, since it isn't likely to get played on country radio.

So basically, you need to buy the album.

"I've never owned a refrigerator."

If you were startled by a loud noise last night around 8:55, that was me. Sorry about that. The season finale of "The Office" made me sqeal like a little girl.

And in news about other excellent shows, though not excellent news:

HBO letting the fourth season options for "Deadwood" cast members lapse, freeing the actors from any further obligation to the show, Daily Variety reports. The series has yet to be renewed for a fourth season, raising speculations that it may have reached its final frontier.

Al Swearengen is so going to kick someone's ass for this.

Veronica Mars "Not Pictured"

Sally and Rob must stop reading right now. You do not want to spoil the entirety of “Veronica Mars” season 2 before the DVDs come out.

"Where's your brother?"

"I think he took Ghost World up to his room. They're probably up there making loooove. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons."

Leave it to Beaver.

So I wasn’t completely shocked by how the bus crash went down. It was one of the two people that everybody figured it was. Luckily there were several other seriously unexpected moments in the episode.

Weevil got arrested at graduation! That was actually really sad, and with his Grandma and niece and nephew right in the audience? Lamb is an ass. And then we didn’t see Weevil again. So that’s it? He’s going to just rot in jail? Since when do we care about justice? I really didn’t expect Weevil to figure into the next season since everyone else will be at college. But maybe we’ll get lucky.

Veronica was really raped. That I didn’t expect at all. It was really horrifying. But I think it’s going to end up helping Veronica be more sympathetic next season when she’s investigating the serial rapist at Hearst College.

Aaron got exactly what he deserved. And on Duncan’s orders? That was awesome. If Duncan were to ever come back as a regular, that would throw yet another interesting wrench into the Duncan and Logan friendship. But… where was Kendall when Clarence Wiedman was in the room?

Beaver blew up Woody! That was actually a nice favor he did for everyone in town, and the entire faux tanning industry. I wasn’t really worried that Keith was on the plane as we were to assume. There’s no way this show could go on without Enrico Colantoni. But watching Veronica think Keith was on the plane as it blew up, was heartbreaking. Kristen Bell really deserves that damned Emmy already.

Jackie has a kid? I didn’t see that coming either, but I’m not really sure that I care. Jackie was only minimally interesting as a character. And once she left for “Paris” I ceased to care about her at all. But Poor Wallace. Although now it’s going to make more sense when Veronica ends up going to Hearst. Wallace and Mac are going to need her.

And Mac… poor Mac. Tina Majorino kicks so much ass with just two lines and a bed sheet. Veronica going to find Mac in the hotel suite was one of the best emotional moments of the episode. Excellent performances from both of them, but I thought what really sold it was the fact that Mac wasn’t the only one betrayed by Beaver. He wasn’t what anybody thought he was, including the audience. Tina Majorino must be a regular next season. She can keep doing “Big Love”, just like she’s been doing through this season. It can work, I just know it.

Now I have to confess, as it was getting to the 45 minute mark, I was really worried that we were not going to get nearly enough Logan. But then of course he shows up just in time to save Veronica’s life. I was seriously tense when he coaxed the gun out of her hands by telling her that she’s no killer. I was just sure that he was going to turn it on Beaver himself. And even though it would be somewhat a self defense move, Logan really has enough mental torment.

Loved the scene of Veronica passed out on Logan’s lap, which echoed the scene of him on her lap from the season premiere. And of course, love them together! The few moments we got to see of them as a couple were perfect. I actually believe they can be happy, as long as they don’t let the other stuff get in the way. Other stuff, like Kendall.

So how is it that Kendall and the Fitzpatricks don’t fit in at all? All that time spent on them and they had nothing to do with any of it? Although it looks like Charisma Carpenter has signed on for another season, since she showed up with a briefcase important enough to make Keith stand Veronica up at the airport. Can you believe Beaver left all his money to Kendall? The hell? That probably wasn’t intentional, but what a bizarre development.

Oh, and something occurred to me last night as I was drifting off to sleep. Lamb made Keith get off the plane so Keith wouldn’t be photographed as the one bringing Woody to justice when they landed. So does that mean Lamb was on the plane? Can that be? Lamb is an ass, but his interactions with Veronica and Keith are so great. And do we really want Keith to be Sheriff again?

Oh, and did I mention Beaver jumped off a building?

Okay, that’s everything I can think of. Now, I have to say this. And don’t get me wrong, because I think this show kicks the ass of overrated “Lost” on a regular basis. But, I felt like the season finale was… anti-climactic. Maybe because we didn’t know the bus crash victims that well, the finale lacked the same emotional resonance as finding Lilly’s killer? (Loved seeing Amanda Seyfried last night!) Maybe it was just over-hyped? I know some of the advance word on the finale insisted that it would be making our heads explode. And there was definitely an enormous amount of shocking revelations, but my head remains intact. Maybe it was because the last moments definitely lacked the squee value of last year’s ‘who’s at the door?’ Veronica standing alone in an airport waiting on her dad just doesn’t make me tear out my hair in anticipation of next season. Why didn’t she just get on the plane? He’d either catch the next flight or she’d see him in a week. Either way, my ass would be headed to NYC.

But all of that said, even in a slightly uneven season, this is a far better drama than anything else on TV. (And I can safely say that because "Deadwood” has been on hiatus for a year.)

But, what's in the briefcase?! So okay, maybe I will be tearing my hair out before next season.

On this very day, some 30 years ago...

When I was 16-years-old, I thought my friend Jimmy hung the moon. And for his 18th birthday, I wrote him a poem. A sappy, rhyming poem full of adolescent angst, written on a folded piece of notebook paper, that I tossed at him after Saturday detention.

Jimmy framed the poem and has been known to leave it in plain view. Several times he's introduced me to people who have read it already. Apparently, somewhere in Jimmy's house, my 16-year-old heart is laid bare. He has a souvenir of the melodramatic and burdensome love someone had for him when he was a sweet kid, and I have the humiliation.

You suck Jimmy. Oh, and I love you and Happy Birthday.

Veronica Mars "Happy Go Lucky"

Honestly, I don’t even know what to say. That was the most tense hour of television since… I don’t know. Last year’s season finale?

There was a freaking school shooting before the opening credits!

And Aaron Echolls is not guilty?!

Okay, kudos to Steve Guttenberg for really bringing the creepy this episode. I was actually very scared for Veronica when he caught her on the computer in his house.

Mac just gets more adorable with every episode. And I love that she’s got her sassy red streaks back. She and Beaver were so great tutoring Weevil in Algebra. He got a ‘B’! Can they tutor me next? Next week’s previews show Mac crying and looking scared and I’m really worried that either she or the Beaver will not be making it out of the season finale alive. And considering that “Big Love” got picked up for another season, it wouldn’t be surprising if this show loses one or the both of them. But please keep Mac? Veronica needs a girl friend for college!

So Veronica blew off her last final? I guess that means she’ll automatically lose the Kane scholarship, right? It seems like she could have rescheduled the final if she bothered telling her teacher that she had to attend the court verdict reading for the man who tried to kill her. If she doesn’t lose the Kane scholarship, then I really hope they show her making the decision to go to Hearst College instead of Stanford, rather than just hearing about it in a voiceover in the season premiere.

Next week’s episode looks completely insane. We still need to find out about the bus crash, confirmation that Woody is a freaking pedophile, and proper comeuppance for him and scary Aaron. Looks like Duncan will be back? And we need to know what’s up with Beaver buying up half of Neptune, whatever weird shit is going on with the Mannings, Kendall and her many cons, and Veronica needs to end up with Logan. Oh, and somewhere in all that, there's graduation. That is one tall order for a season finale.

Everybody's got an opinion.

Just today I have been called "demanding" and then "relentless" by two different people. Of the two, I'd have to say, I prefer "demanding". It makes me sound charmingly high maintenance instead of psycho. I've been told there's no such thing as charmingly high maintenance. But I beg to differ. Hello? I'm right here.

perfect presents

Desperate to find me an early birthday gift? Dying to be my new BFF? Or just wishing to get into my good graces for a while? May I suggest this?

It's called a "spoiler" for a reason.

And don't even get me started on The WB promo department making sure we know that Lorelai is knocked up before the "Gilmore Girls" season finale. Bastards.

Veronica Mars "Look Who's Stalking"

"There was one girl. She was blonde, petite, smelled like marshmallows and promises.”











Holy hell. There is just too much going on. I think my head is going to explode.

Woody sleeps with women? What? Not buying it. And I can’t believe Keith helped him cover up the OD’ed girl in his bed. Why would he do that? Just because Keith’s a nice guy? Or because he feels like he can’t so 'no' to the mayor?

The Gia stalking subplot was lame. It’s Gia, so pffft, who cares? But it brought back Deputy Leo, so I won’t complain too much. Poor, dreamy, mumbly Deputy Leo who really should know better than to come running when Veronica calls.

Wallace and Jackie are grossing me out. Although now her personality makeover makes sense. Have to sacrifice the most recently redeemed character. Did you see the previews for next week? Lucky’s got a gun!

Alterna-Prom was awesome! Dick and the “hog”? Dick is one leisure suit away from being a swinging 70's caricature, but I still love him. Madison “on the Lamb”! Hee. And Mac looking so completely adorable? (I insist that she be a regular next year!) I’m just sad she didn’t get to go to prom with Beaver. Where the hell is that kid anyway? (Oh, and I may have forgotten to mention it before, but I don't believe Kendall is conning Beaver. I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.)

And poor, sad, drunken Logan. He thinks their love story is epic. How could Veronica walk away from a confession like that? As soon as she knocked on his door the next morning, I knew there would be a woman in there. It’s just his pattern- vulnerability and bad decisions. At least it was only shady (potentially evil) Kendall, so it’s not like he has feelings for her.

Oh! And speaking of Kendall, I almost forgot! Veronica has Chlamydia! Oh my God. I knew Duncan slept with Kendall! I called it. I maintain this is the only way Veronica could have gotten it. And I thought I disliked Duncan before…

Was the bus crash even mentioned last night? There’s only like two episodes left! There’s so much going on. And I’m hanging my head in shame, because I have no idea who did it.

Okay, here’s the thing, I don’t really care about the bus crash. I really just need Veronica and Logan to live happily ever after. Please Rob Thomas, please?

Edited to add: "This? This is my 'I'd rather be spelunking' look. It's like you don't know me at all!" Ha!

Just in time for the end...

"The West Wing" is yummy again.

Confessions of a MySpace Junkie

My official excuse for joining MySpace is that it's a good way to reconnect with old friends from high school. But the truth is, as Princess Melissa already learned for herself, it's really because I'm nosy.

Because MySpace is networking application, it allows you to view everyone's 'friends' lists and create groups for school alumni, clubs, and common interests. You can browse around and see that someone you went to high school with is also friends with one of your current co-workers. Small world. And you can see how a couple of your friends have hardly changed a bit, still basically up to the exact same stuff. And you can see that some unassuming girl from your high school Algebra class ended up married to an old dude. Weird. And then hey, there's that goth chick you used to see around. And she's still goth. Hmmm... I thought people outgrew that.

My step-dad likes to remind me of my goth phase when I wore black eyeliner and dark lipstick and my favorite Hole concert t-shirt (which I'd still be wearing the hell out of if the damned thing still fit). But actually, I was more grunge than goth. I'd love to still be living in oversized flannel shirts and Doc Martens, but fashion has changed so much. With the current trends of pointy heels with expensive jeans, and crocheted shrugs over little satin camisoles, I'm afraid the flannel would look a little too butch by comparison.

But I digress. Something I learned from MySpace: Apparently adults can be goth.

And the bulletins... those ridiculous surveys and memes that everyone fills out and then posts for everyone on their 'friends' lists to read. People are willing to share the most intimate details of their lives just because it's a question on a survey.

So yes, MySpace allows you to be all up in other people's business. Voyeurism is addictive isn't it? And by joining, you may be allowed to satisfy that inappropriate curiosity we tend to have about other people. But that's okay I guess. Because now that you've joined? They get to be all nosy about you too.

Blame it on the Voodoo.

"Jesus is not a zombie."

And to think, you silly people still aren't watching "Bones".

I have no idea who said this.

When placed in a container, Jell-O conforms to the shape of the vessel. You, however, should never conform. Unless, of course, you think you're Jell-O.

Veronica Mars "Nevermind the Buttocks"

The hell?

No. Seriously. I think I'm pretty astute, and I'm more than just a casual fan of this show. I never miss an episode and I always rewind if I missed any dialogue. But... what the hell is going on?

Does Veronica actually think Weevil tried to detonate the bomb in the Sharks bag? How would Weevil have planted the bomb? Why isn't anyone focused on the fact that the Sharks bag that's now been mentioned more than once, must have been given to Dick by Woody? And that Woody told his daughter not to get on the bus, and called her on the way home to ask where she was?

And how does Beaver figure in? Because he definitely does.

And the Fitzpatricks? I still have no idea how they fit into all of this. Working with Kendall is shady, but why the hell would they make a bus crash?

And Kendall? Con artist, identity thief, associate of the Fitzpatricks, and she has a secret house no one knew about, and she planted Duncan's hair for Aaron Echolls. That is one busy girl we don't get to see enough of.

And Aaron's Oscar (Was that for The Breaking Point? Or Beyond the Breaking Point?) burried under the pool with Duncan's hair and Lilly's blood on it? What? No, really. What? Someone planted it to make it look like Duncan killed Lilly and then tried to frame Aaron. Duncan, who if he had killed Lilly, would have done it in the midst of an epileptic seizure, then managed to frame Aaron? Or are we supposed to believe the Kane's did it? And I know Kendall got Duncan's hair from the shower drain, but where the hell did Lilly's blood come from?

Mac has to go to the prom with Butters! Hee!

Note to the powers that be: We need more Logan please. Thank you.

The Alien Pregnancy That Would Not End

Katie Holmes is the subject of yet another IM conversation.

from where I sit

It's a little Renoir-esque because it was taken with my camera phone, but this was taken from my seat at The Oasis. My team at work took out our supervisor for lunch (we treated him, but in exchange, we didn't have to stick to our one hour lunch rule). The food is so-so and the service is slow (lunch on a Wednesday took two hours) but the view is awesome, even on a cloudy day like today.

Veronica Mars "I Am God"

"Dick Casablancas is the bastard child of satan."

Yeah, but damn if he doesn't get all the funniest lines.

Hey, a bus crashed! Did you guys know about that? (And how come that joke doesn't get old?)

Show Killer is back! Why? I have no idea. Guess Veronica needed someone to spill her guts to about her crazy dreams with murder victims talking to her. But it seems like anyone could have filled that role. Especially if they're not bringing Show Killer back so that poor Keith can have a girlfriend.

Aw, Wallace likes Logan! Who could blame him really? Gotta love that kid for trying to knock Veronica's valedictorian rival out of the running. But why did they show us Wallace watching "Tinseltown Diaries" in Logan's hotel room? For a minute I thought Wallace was going to turn the TV off and apologize to Logan, to juxtapose Wallace and Dick to show which would be a better friend for Logan. But then that didn't happen, so I'm confused. So was it just so that Wallace would start sympathizing with Logan and lobbying Veronica on his behalf? My head hurts.

And wow, is Big Dick gonna be a player in the big mystery now? I think I'm still on the "Woodman did it" bandwagon. I just don't know why he might have done it.

Next week... oh, who cares? There's only four episodes left! Holy God, they're gonna drag the story out four more episodes! Then they'll give us a freakin' heart attack in the last 20 minutes of the season. I have money riding on it.

something new

This is the tattoo I just got!

It's of a flaming chalice, and yes, it hurt.

Me? Insufferable? Never.

Elizabeth at Austinist has named her Favorite Random Blog of the Week as... mine! In your face other random bloggers of Austin!

You may continue to go about your day.

Please don't sue us.

The following conversation transpired after viewing this photo of Katie Holmes:


Jennifer says: ok, it looks fake again

Kandis says: basketball or alien? it's tough to tell

Kandis says: no way is she gonna be silent when that thing crawls out of her skinny body

Jennifer says: not only that, but it's really high

Jennifer says: why would they fake her being pregnant and then adopt a kid?

Kandis says: to prove he's hetero?

Kandis says: the man is obviously a little crazy, so I'm not sure

Jennifer says: and then I guess she didn't want to ruin her figure with a real baby

Jennifer says: so she has to wear the basketball

Kandis says: although the shots of her in the crotch snapping bodysuit made it seem like that's a real pregnancy. But she looks twice as round this week as she did last week

Kandis says: it's not that she didn't want to ruin her figure with a real baby, my guess is that he wouldn't actually sleep with a WOMAN

Jennifer says: well, but she could have gotten artificially inseminated with his freak seed

Kandis says: true, if that was in her contract

Kandis says: it all makes my head hurt

Jennifer says: it's pretty funny

Jennifer says: I don't get the argument that she already had it, when why would she have had one at all?

Kandis says: yeah, the argument that she already had it doesn't really make any sense. But maybe they're that paranoid?

Jennifer says: my god, it's not anywhere near where the uterus would be

Jennifer says: maybe she was just being rebellious that day?

Jennifer says: "ha! i'm going to make it look RIDICULOUS today, and Tom can't stop me!"

Jennifer says: next time, she's going to strap it on above her butt

Shocking. Simply shocking.

Bush Authorized Leak to Times, Libby Told Grand Jury

And...

Bush: Hands Possibly as Dirty as Scooter Libby's

Veronica Mars "Plan B"

"This face right here? My over-the-moon face."

This was a great episode. It's been a while, but I think I remember what one looks like when I see it. Fun interactions (Weevil instructing Veronica on the shocker... hee! Logan and everyone), plenty of drama (Thumper... damn), and even a little action. Although watching a building explode on a TV inside a TV? Not so much with the excitment.

I cannot believe after I professed my love for Beaver just a couple of weeks ago that he went and broke Mac's heart. If he wasn't so obviously gay and desperate to hide it, I might never forgive him.

Ah, LoVe. Is it okay, since it's just us friends, that I admit that I squealed like a little girl? Logan And Veronica snarking, high fiving, and dancing! Have you ever seen two people slow dance so intensely? It's better than a Harlequin y'all.

And I even liked Jackie! Tessa Thompson has come a long way. She was charming and complicated. And I actually like the friendship between her and Veronica. Though I gotta say, Mac is still my pick for Veronica's second BFF.

And was it just me, or was the Woodman coming on to Logan? Not that Logan isn't used to that kind of thing. Although he and Weevil do seem to be on the outs.

But next week? Yay Alona Tal, don't get me wrong. But does Veronica have to see dead people?

assistance please?

Today I saw a guy wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt with rolled up sleeves. Why? No, seriously. Why?

Veronica Mars "The Rapes of Graff"

Have I mentioned "Veronica Mars"? It's that awesome show on UPN that you're still not watching. And I know you have the time. "Scrubs" is on Tuesdays, "The Office" is on Thursdays, and "Deadwood" is on hiatus. What else could you possibly be doing with your time?

Hannah got shipped to Vermont! You can’t see me doing my happy dance, but trust me, it’s sassy.

Cliff and the gynecologist… hee! Lamb and Madison… wow, disgusting. "She's 18 -- It's Legal". Vote for Lamb!

I have to say that I'm really disappointed that we missed out on the conversation between Logan and Veronica that occurred in between episodes. So he told her how he'd been using Hannah and what he had agreed to do for her father? Of course she guessed all that, but I would have liked to have seen the interaction.

Love Wallace’s excitement for college. Hate that Logan was developing feelings for Hannah. Of course we know he’s sweet and vulnerable on the inside, but are we really supposed to believe that after dearly departed Lilly, Veronica and Charisma, that he’d be content with a child who has no personality and bad hair?

Besides Logan’s file getting stolen from Cliff’s briefcase (totally Aaron's doing!), and the demolition of the stadium, we didn’t really get anywhere on the whole bus crash. I’m starting to get the feeling that the bus crash storyline, unlike Lilly Kane’s murder, doesn’t have enough going for it to sustain it through an entire season.

Next week’s preview made me squeal like a 12-year-old: Veronica and Logan spending time together! Mac and Weevil are back! Steve Guttenberg is the mayor! (Yeah, we already knew that, but it’s been so long, I thought we needed the reminder.)

As far as fests go, it could use more funny hats.

We saw this guy at the rodeo last night. He is the Overall Reserve Grand Champion steer. (We thought he was better looking than the Grand Champion. You know it's all just politics.).

We ate what felt like a ton of junk food (Rob had a turkey leg, I had a really big corny dog, and we shared funnel cake), and we drank $5.50 tall boys.

We saw a travelling sideshow, one spectacular mullet, and a very pretty boy in a mini skirt, dangle earrings, and ruby slippers.

We came home covered in powdered sugar and smelling like smoked meat. And nobody threw up. Success!

Veronica Mars "The Quick and the Wed"

"Fine, I'm a barista!"

"Veronica Mars" last night.... Ack! Three minutes of previouslies that I think managed to show everything from the last season and a half.

So we got some advancement on the season arc, we got Wallace back, and Cliff!, we got dueling evils Aaron and Charisma (yay!). But what the hell was she doing in Duncan's bathroom?

And what is Beaver- I mean Cassidy- up to? I can't figure out if he's trying to buy up half of Neptune in preparation for the incorporation, or if he's trying set Kendall up? But Ryan Gallner has grown on me so much. Love him, don't care what evil he's up to. (It's gotta be evil right? It is Neptune after all.)

And speaking of evil (again)... Logan, Logan, Logan. "I think I've done something horrible." Shocker. (And I don't mean that kind.)

Oh, and two well behaved children.

Today is my mother’s 50th birthday. She likes to say that the first day of Spring falls on her birthday. To celebrate the milestone of her 50th birthday, she wants to get a tattoo. Though she hasn’t settled on just which of her hobbies to immortalize in ink.

My mother can knit you a sweater (or a scarf or gloves), and sew you a Halloween costume (or curtains), and remodel a room of your house (or install your garbage disposal), saw down your tree (or plant your garden), design you a website (disability accessible of course), make you the very best lasagna (or whoopie pies!), and volunteer for your political campaign (or your impromptu soup kitchen), and identify endless species of birds (snakes, bats and various other animals, fossils and bugs). And she can force you to go to summer camp (or church youth group) against your will, knowing that one day you’ll learn to love it.

But as she says of my sister and I (who are 23 years apart), she can only raise one kid at a time.

Happy Birthday Mother! We love you.














Edited to add: Birthday tattoo is done!

I got a new camera phone! These are a couple of the very exciting photos I've taken so far: Everyone will recognize the infamous fat Moe, and then the other is a blurry shot of my desk at work, complete with Buffy acton figure.