Happy Halloween to you and yours.

And remember, as my mother always said, don't eat all of the candy in one sitting.

Even The New York Times loves Jordan Catalano

"This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do."

The Times gets all nostalgic about Angela Chase and "My So-Called Life" just in time for the spanking new box set to be released tomorrow. I myself have the original box set, released five years ago with absolutely no bonus features. The new set will include all kinds of cast interviews and bonus footage. Which will just serve to remind me of how much I miss flannel.

In summary

Did you know they now have a test to determine if you have the flu? And they now have a prescription medicine specifically for the flu? However, the catch is, the test only works within the first two days of symptoms. After that, the test isn't conclusive and they won't give you the medicine. Wow. How much do I wish I'd known that two days ago?

So in summary? It's probably best to just get the damned flu shot.

Things I've Learned on My Way to 30 (otherwise known as my second annual 29th birthday)

The quest for the perfect pair of jeans never ever ends.

I was right back in high school: nobody ever really uses algebra.

You can be too old for some clothes.

There's a difference between a job and a career. And that difference can be felt.

My bra-less days (if ever there were any) are long, long over.

Even when you grow up, eating all of the Halloween candy in one sitting will still make you sick.

There's less reason to get embarassed as I get older. People are human, nobody is perfect. And who cares what they think anyway?

Moisturizer is very important.

So is sunscreen.

I'm still going to get wrinkles.

Having a baby doesn't really change everything. But it makes things a lot sweeter.

The world may never be fair, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying to make it that way.

Tattoos don't look that weird on grandmas.

I don't care if I'm too old for pigtails.

We'll never stop needing help from our parents. Especially if they can wield a chainsaw and a sewing machine with equal skill.

There's no such thing as enough shoes.

As much as I try not to pass judgement on other people for the way they live their lives... some people are just stupid.

80's fashion didn't look good then, and it definitely doesn't look good now.

There may actually be a heaven. And it's called Retirement.

Forever really isn't that long.

Apparently I suck at Emmy betting.

So I had an off year.

The only categories I called correctly were Best Drama, and Best Actress and Supporting Actress in a comedy series. Oh, and Best Variety, Music or Comedy Series.

So four out of 12 isn't very impressive. But can you blame me? Who'd have thought they'd give it to James Spader AGAIN? I'm not a "Sopranos" fan, but even I knew it was Gandolfini's year. And Ricky Gervais and Jeremy Piven? Based on the insane "Deadwood" snubbing, I wast starting to assume the Academy is too cheap to foot the bill for HBO.

Scenes from an Anniversary

Need a charity deduction?

If you can, please consider supporting me, and the Allen's Angels team, in the Out of the Darkness Walk for suicide prevention.

I've been thinking about it...

And I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you America.

This is a lot of things. But it's not my idea of "fat".

Tired of your sullen 13 year-old? Marry her off!

"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"—Mr. Jack M.

“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!" —Mrs. James P.

And yes, I realize that it's a joke.

Before and After

The water damage repairs are finely done. Photos have been posted. Now if only the kitchen had flooded too...

stats

To the person who found my blog by searching for "what kind of pants should be worn with slouch boots"... The answer is NONE, because slouch boots should never be worn. Trust me on this.

To the people who are forever ending up at my blog due to their feverish Googling of "are danny and melinda from the real world austin still together?" Sorry, you've really come to the wrong place. I made one offhand comment about those two crazy kids after watching the reunion special. And I swear, I regret it now.

And to the person who found my blog by searching for "god wants your ass"? You have big problems my friend.

In Austin? Hate Genocide?

Did you ever wonder: "What can I do to help end the genocide in Darfur?" All you have to do is go out and enjoy a meal in an Austin restaurant participating in the Dining for Darfur dine-out on Monday, August 27 and you'll be providing aid for the people of Sudan and Chad currently suffering from the violence, destruction and displacement. At the restaurant that evening you may even learn more ways of to help us call an end to the genocide that is happening in this region.

Participating restaurants will donate 5% of their gross sales to the American Jewish World Service (AJWS). Donations will be used for AJWS's nonsectarian humanitarian relief efforts for the victims in Darfur.

Participating Restaurants:

Arturo's
Blue Star Cafeteria
Chez Zee
Curra's Grill (all 3 locations)
Frank & Angie's Pizzeria
Freddie's Place
H-E-B Kosher Store Grill
Hut's Hamburgers
It's Italian
Kenichi
Lambert's Downtown BBQ
Leaf
Louie's 106
Manny Hattan's New York Delicatessen
Mars
Ms. B's Authentic Creole Restaurant
Opal Divine's (all 3 locations—Order a "Velocirita" and Velocity Bank will match a $1 contribution for every drink sold that day!)
Pluckers Wing Bar (all 5 locations)
Restaurant Jezebel
San Antonio Street Cafe
Spicy Pickle
Suzi's China Grill (all 3 locations)
Taco Deli (both locations)
Taverna
Tom's Tabooley
Upper Crust Bakery
Waterloo Ice House (6th and Lamar location only)

I've said it before...

"Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage."

For real y'all. Bitch be crazy.

I don't see anything wrong with this picture.

Testing My Emmy Luck

The Emmys are on Sunday, September 16. So I'll see if I can repeat my Oscar success.

DRAMA

SERIES:
"Boston Legal" (ABC)
"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
"Heroes" (NBC)
"House" (Fox)
"The Sopranos" (HBO)

ACTOR:
James Spader, "Boston Legal"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Denis Leary, "Rescue Me"
James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos"
Kiefer Sutherland, "24"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
T.R. Knight, "Grey's Anatomy"
Masi Oka, "Heroes"
Michael Emerson, "Lost"
Terry O'Quinn, "Lost"
Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos"

ACTRESS:
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Patricia Arquette, "Medium"
Minnie Driver, "The Riches"
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters"
Katherine Heigl, "Grey's Anatomy"
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy"
Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy"
Aida Turturro, "The Sopranos"
Lorraine Bracco, "The Sopranos"

COMEDY

SERIES:
"Entourage" (HBO)
"The Office" (NBC)
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS)
"Ugly Betty" (ABC)

ACTOR:
Ricky Gervais, "Extras"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office"
Jon Cryer, "Two and a Half Men"

ACTRESS:
Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Jaime Pressly, "My Name Is Earl"
Jenna Fischer, "The Office"
Holland Taylor, "Two and a Half Men"
Conchata Ferrell, "Two and a Half Men"
Vanessa Williams, "Ugly Betty"
Elizabeth Perkins, "Weeds"

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY PROGRAM

SERIES:
"The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central)
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)
"Late Night With Conan O'Brien" (NBC)
"Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Real Time With Bill Maher" (HBO)

REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM:
"The Amazing Race" (CBS)
"American Idol" (Fox)
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC)
"Project Runway" (Bravo)
"Top Chef" (Bravo)

Happy 32nd Birthday to the best daddy.

catching up on current events

JENNIFER: Oh, did you hear that Stephen Colbert fell and broke his wrist, running around onstage?

KANDIS: No, didn't hear that. That sounds like something clumsy I would do. Except for the running part.

As you can tell by the steam coming out of my ears, Emmy nominations are out.

Okay, does the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences even watch the shows they nominate? Seriously. Because I'm convinced that they don't. Or if they do, they have even worse taste than the people who keep "American Idol" and "Survivor" on the air.

Does "The Sopranos" really need even more accolades heaped on them? While "Deadwood" and "Studio 60" receive no critical nominations? I can't even fathom how that happened. There's never been a better show than "Deadwood".

Shameful.

I hope Ian McShane kicks all their asses. While Bradley Whitford mocks them savagely.

Edited to add: Oh yeah! And Lauren Graham, Kristin Bell and "Lost" too! Damned Emmy voters.

This is our house on drugs.

Last night around 9:30pm, a pipe burst in our downstairs bathroom. Water shot out of the wall for about 15-20 minutes while Rob and I ran around like chickens with our heads cut off, looking for the main water shut-off valve. Rob finally was able to turn off the water supply under the toilet (after first shutting off the hot water heater instead) and we found ourselves in the middle of about an inch of standing water. It was in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the master bedroom, master bath, my closet, three other closets, and the pantry. Basically the entire first floor of our house is hosed. We called a water damage service to come last night and they immediately began extracting the water and surveying the damage. We ended up checking into a hotel around midnight so that the technicians could continue cleaning up water, and spraying toxic anti-microbials. Cooper slept through the entire thing.

Today the technicians began ripping up our laminate flooring, our baseboards, our cabinet kickboards, what little carpeting we have, and even an area rug. I've lost track of how many commercial grade fans and dehumidifiers are criss-crossing our floors. Our furniture has been moved all over the place, and it's basically like running an obstacle course just to try to get a glass of water.

Oh! And the dozens of fans and dehumidifiers are putting off so much heat that I'm afraid our next electric bill will deplete Cooper's non-existant college fund.

We are now living in our upstairs guestroom. The insurance claims adjuster won't be able to make it out here until Thursday, and assuming they cover all the damages, who knows how long it will take for everything to get replaced?

So that's the fun in our life. How about you?

Oh, and we still don't know where that main water shut-off valve is.

some people can nap anywhere

Rob and Cooper enjoying a rest during our five hour delay at the Cincinatti airport. At two and half months old, Cooper has now been to Georgia, Ohio, and New York- courtesy of a trip to Cooperstown to see his grandparents, great-grandmothers, and various aunts, uncles, and cousins. Cooper turned out to be a better traveler than I am. Well, less of a whiner anyway.

Rob wrote more about our trip, and I'll be posting photos.