Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic!

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Dagger of Patience.

Get yours.

Dude. That is messed up.

Just like the Lost finale last night, this 124 lb. blue catfish is freaking me out.

Have some pride Aileen Wuornos.

The following is an IM conversation we had at work while eavesdropping on our new trainwreck of an employee who we've uncharitably dubbed Aileen Wuornos. The woman spends half of her day making personal phone calls, and she's so indiscrete about it that all of us around her now know way more than we'd prefer to about her life, her deadbeat ex who has custody of her kids but lives with his mom, her court dates, police reports, the fact that she has nowhere to live, no car, and unpaid utilities. Every day she gives me more to add to my ongoing list of the Top 100 Things I Wouldn't Want My Co-workers to Know About Me. And yeah, we're mean.

Scott says:
what is the point of this conversation?

Kandis says:
I'm loving her description "it still hadn't showed up"

Scott says:
yeah

Kandis says:
the point is blaming the city transit system for an entire day of missed work because her life is such a mess she has no car

Scott says:
this is tragic

Scott says:
lol

Kandis says:
I can't believe she is spending THIS long on the phone with Capitol Metro

Kandis says:
don't they have work to do too?

Scott says:
this is going around in circles!

Scott says:
no kidding!

Scott says:
this is hilarious

Scott says:
isn't there a question on the application about reliable transportation?

Scott says:
is taking the bus to B.F.E. reliable?

Kandis says:
I don't know if there is a question

Kandis says:
they can't discriminate against white trash Americans

Scott says:
lol

Scott says:
is she getting documentation that the bus didn't show?

Kandis says:
yep

Kandis says:
as if that will excuse her

Scott says:
oh man

Scott says:
if it's not one thing, it's another

Kandis says:
her whole life is a mess

Scott says:
yep

Scott says:
except she has this bitchin' job

Kandis says:
which she might keep if she ever learns to stay off the phone

Scott says:
hahaha

Scott says:
of course, she doesn't have a cel

Kandis says:
dude, she barely has a sofa to sleep on and shoes on her feet

Yes I Guess They Oughta Name a Drink After You

Holy crap! John Prine is coming to ACL Fest! Can I just tell you how beyond thrilled I am? So far they've just released the artist lineup and have three day passes on sale. But last time Rob and I went to ACL Fest (2003) we didn't even make it through an entire day, therefore, three days is out of the question. So they need to hurry, hurry, hurry and release the schedule and the one day passes. Who else wants to go?

I've already used up all but one of my sick days. I'm also kinda broke until Friday. And, I know for a fact that if I came face to face with Bill Clinton, I would cry like a basketcase. But if all of those things weren't true, I'd be at Book People on Thursday. Anyone who wants to be my new best friend can feel free to pick up a signed copy for my birthday (which is only five months away.)

President William Jefferson Clinton will be signing his memoir, MY LIFE at BookPeople, Publisher Weekly’s Bookseller of the Year, on Thursday May 5, starting at 10 am.