Scenes from a Fair

We went to the State Fair of Texas last weekend in Dallas. We had corn dogs, turkey legs, cotton candy, overpriced beer (none for me of course) and frozen yogurt. We saw lots of smelly animals, amazing crafts, and my mother and sister rode a couple of rides on the midway. Rob got conned into buying a sushi maker for the low, low price of $45.99.

My favorite animal at the state fair was Boris II. He had his own palace of a pen outside the pig enclosure. Boris actually isn’t a pig, he is an 1,147 pound Yorkshire-Hampshire boar. He sleeps 23 ½ hours a day and eats 25 pounds of food a day. When we saw him, he was laying down eating out of his huge bowl with his eyes closed. I’m not even sure he was awake. Isn’t he awesome?


There was an impressive assortment of crafts on display in the Creative Arts and Food and Fiber buildings. Tons of beautiful quilts, handmade sweaters, matchstick mansions and jars and jars of various preserves and baked goods. The best by far? This cross-stitched masterpiece of the one and only, Clay Aiken.

And the activity that occupied me the longest was this guy. This was the crossing guard at our entrance gate. He had the hardest time getting people to walk on the crosswalk. And when they wouldn’t listen to polite requests, he would begin yelling “CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK!” until he was practically up in people’s faces screaming. He was so insanely drunk with power that I just knew a fistfight was going to break out at any moment. At one point, the older lady sitting next to us on the curb watching him turned to me and said “what an asshole”. It was so fascinating that I watched him for about an hour. But to my disappointment, no one got shanked.


And the last photo is actually from my Grandma’s house after the fair. My sister Abby is holding our brand new cousin Landen. She’s getting practice for when her new niece (or nephew) arrives.





Edited to add: My mother reminded me that I neglected to mention another spectacular "craft". The statue of Marilyn Monroe, carved entirely out of butter.

the season

Yes, we're that kind of neighbor.

representing all of the food groups

From the State Fair of Texas brochure:

Deep Fried Cosmopolitan -- A fried pastry filled with cheesecake and topped with a sweet and tangy cranberry glaze and a lime wedge. Served on a stick.

Donkey Tails -- Large all-beef franks, slit on one side and generously stuffed with sharp Cheddar cheese, wrapped in a large flour tortilla and fried until golden brown. Served with mustard chili sauce or Ruth's salsa.

Fernie's Fried Choco-rito -- A flour tortilla stuffed with marshmallows, coconut, candy bar pieces, caramel morsels and cinnamon then dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried to a crispy, crunchy outside and sweet, gooey inside. Drizzled with honey and topped with whipped cream.

Fernie's Fried Mac-n-cheese -- Texas-sized bites of macaroni and cheese, covered with a layer of garlic- and herb-flavored bread crumbs and deep fried until crispy outside and hot and cheesy inside. Served on a stick with a side of dipping sauces.

Fried Praline Perfection -- Plump coconut and pecan pralines, battered and fried to a rich golden crust. Served warm with powdered sugar.

Fried Coke -- Smooth spheres of Coca-Cola-flavored batter that are deep fried, drizzled with pure Coke fountain syrup, topped with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry. Served in souvenir contoured glasses.












So what are you eating this weekend?

More questionable State Fair food items can be found here.

second alien photo

13 weeks and it looks like we have a thumbsucker.

Duck!

Someone found my blog by searching for “teen a** ducking”. (Yes. Ducking.) They used MSN to search and apparently “ass” was enough to get them my page. They were in Turkey, of course.

Why is it that everyone who finds my blog by searching for something dirty, is in some repressed country where they'd probably be stoned just for Googling the words? It's the most bizarre phenomenon.

Veronica Mars "Welcome Wagon"

"I ignored all of the spoiler alerts, which I know is kinda douche-baggy."

So glad I'm not a douche bag.

Well they still managed to fit a lot into the show, considering it was supposed to be a primer for new viewers. I don't think it was too slow. The mystery of the week was fairly typical, while still setting us up nicely for the first big mystery arc. And hey! I hope Keith doesn't get killed by exposure or wild animals. But couldn't they have left the theme song alone?

Poor Mac. Poor Dick. Poor Kendall! She went to jail for Cormac Fitzpatrick and that's how he repays her? Damn.

What was in the briefcase? We've been waiting all summer to know! Cash. Really? Wow. Kinda boring.

There wasn't nearly enough Logan. But I was left with the feeling that it must have been a really long summer for Veronica if Logan has been that broody all this time.

Mac's new roommate Parker? I don't hate her, but she's way too much like Buffy's first college roommate. The one who turned out to be a demon.

I don't hate Piz yet either, but I really do hate his hair.

And bring back the LeBaron!

one small request

Dear Filmmakers in Austin-

If you must use a wide flat bed truck to film a driving scene, taking up both lanes of 360, flanked by a police escort, is it too much to ask that you not film during evening rush hour?

Thanks-
Kandis

alien photo

This is a picture of our baby at nine weeks. Wait. Did I tell you we’re having a baby? Oh. Well in case I forgot to mention it… we’re having a baby in April! So Rob helpfully put a red box around the baby in the picture, since there was some disagreement about its exact location. I won’t tell you which one of us was wrong and which one was right.
We should have another picture at the end of November. Hopefully by then, the baby will look less like an alien peanut and more like a regular alien.

so close to calling in ugly

My doctor has recommended removing products with salicylic acid from my skin care regimen. So I gave up my great Clean & Clear astringent for Dickinson's witch hazel which smells really bad and doesn’t seem to do a thing for me. And I gave up my awesome life-saving Aveeno Clear Complexion moisturizer for a non-complexion clearing version. And guess what? My skin looks like hell. I am approaching my very first 29th birthday, and I have the skin of a hormone raging teenager.

So does anyone have any recommendations for products that keep your skin clear, but don’t contain harsh ingredients like salicylic acid?

Thanks.

benefit of owning a Saturn

I was walking through the parking garage after work yesterday and my car didn't seem to be where I remembered leaving it. And I had this moment of panic when I thought my car must have been stolen.

And then I realized, "wait, why would someone steal my car?"

Cupcake Courier

Oh, and this isn't on my wishlist, but I totally need one.

reminder

Did you know my birthday is only one week away? Aren't you glad I have a wishlist?

A Buffy List

In honor of my friend Brian making his very first journey through the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" DVDs, I'm listing my favorite top 13 episodes. I actually tried really hard to whittle this down to a top ten. I simply couldn't do it.

"Once More With Feeling"
"Passion"
"Hush"
"Something Blue"
"Graduation Part 1/Graduation Part 2"
"Helpless"
"The Gift"
"The Prom"
"Fool for Love"
"Selfless"
"Crush"
"The Body"
"Prophecy Girl"

Hey Ya

This is my new favorite song.

Ann Richards

September 1, 1933 - September 13, 2006

Back from Montana.

We returned from our Montana adventure very late last night. The wedding was beautiful, the weather was gorgeous and the mountains were amazing. I was hardly near a computer for a solid week which means I didn't even have a headache (And is also why I didn't jump on the whole Suri Cruise thing. Duh Sally.)

Pictures anyone?

Gone to Montana.

Tomorrow morning, at the ungodly hour of 5am, we're headed off to the Airport. By 3pm we should be in Hamilton, Montana for the rest of the week with Rob's family. And then this weekend, we'll drive to Jackson, Montana where Rob's brother John, and John's fiance will be getting married. The high temperature shouldn't get out of the low 70's. Maybe I'll send you a postcard.

all TV, all the time

It’s that time again! You know, the time of year when I get inordinately excited about Fall TV shows? Here’s what I’ll be doing this Fall instead of having a life:

“Bones” (premieres Aug. 30): Procedural drama, but instead of cops, it’s an FBI agent and a forensic anthropologist. What can I say? I love David Boreanaz. It’s actually a nice change to see him getting to go out in the daylight. This show has a pretty good supporting cast. And Emily Deschanel is growing on me.

“Nip/Tuck” (premieres Sept. 5): Two plastic surgeons in Miami and their screwed up family. It’s shallow. It’s seamy. It’s twisted. It’s awesome. I’m a little concerned about the advance buzz about way too many guest stars. But the Carver is gone, and I can’t wait!

“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (premieres Sept. 18): Behind the scenes of an “Saturday Night Live” type variety show. It’s Aaron Sorkin y’all! Show some respect. This can’t be anything but great, it’s just not possible.

“My Name is Earl” (premieres Sept. 21): Loser wins lottery and tries to make up for his past wrongs. Everyone on this show is freakin’ hysterical, and I hope Jaime Pressly wins the Emmy. Who ever thought that sentence would ever be uttered?

“The Office” (premieres Sept. 21): The office of Dunder-Mifflin paper company. Jim kissed Pam! He told her that he loves her! But she’s marrying Roy! I can’t even tell you how much I’m dying to know where they go from there.

“Ugly Betty” (premieres Sept. 22): Based on the telenova about an ugly ducking in the fashion industry. The advance word on this makes it sound very The Devil Wears Prada. But I love America Ferrera (ever since Real Women Have Curves) so I’m thinking of trying this one out.

“Gilmore Girls” (premieres Sept. 26): Abnormally close mother and daughter live in quaint Connecticut town. Lorelai and Luke called off the wedding! Then she slept with Christopher! I’m actually kind of glad the Palladinos are gone (writers/creators Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino). The last two seasons have been lacking and a fresh show runner might just save this sinking ship.

“One Tree Hill” (premieres Sept. 27): The lives and loves of high school students in Tree Hill North Carolina. I don’t care what you say, I love this show. It’s a ridiculous and shallow teen soap opera, and I can not stop watching it. At the end of the season, there were at least four different girls who could be pregnant, and at least three people who could be dead. It was that good of a cliffhanger.

“Veronica Mars” (premieres Oct. 3): Teenage detective noir. Veronica is going to college! With Wallace and Mac! And Logan... sigh. Last season was uneven, but I still think this is the second best drama on TV. And I'll be brief now, because we all know I won't be in the future.

“Lost” (premieres Oct. 4): Forty plane crash survivors stranded on one creepy island. The hatch done got blowed up! Why is Charlie so creepy? Will Kate ever choose between Jack and Sawyer? What happened to the polar bear? And Lostzilla?

“30 Rock” (premieres Oct. 11): Yep, it’s completely ridiculous that NBC has not one, but two shows about an "SNL" type variety show. This one is a half hour sitcom written by Tina Fey and starring Tracy Morgan and Alec Baldwin. I’m gonna give it a shot.

My 25 Favorite TV Characters Ever

Inspired by James Gunn and Joss Whedon’s postings at Whedonesque:

Using their rules:

No puppets or cartoons (because then it’s just Daria, She-Ra, and Cookie Monster)

No mini-series (because there isn’t room for the entire casts of Lonesome Dove and Angels in America)

No reality show people (that means no Anderson Cooper on “The Mole”)

All characters must be regulars on the show (rules out all those people who came on just to improve flagging shows, like Robert Downey Jr. on “Ally McBeal” and Tom Selleck and Paul Rudd on “Friends”)

1) Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

2) Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), DEADWOOD

3) Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), THE X-FILES

4) Rayanne Graff (AJ Langer), MY SO-CALLED LIFE

5) Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), THE OFFICE

6) Chris Stevens (John Corbett), NORTHERN EXPOSURE

7) Reva Shayne Lewis (Kim Zimmer), GUIDING LIGHT

8) Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring), VERONICA MARS

9) Sam Seaborne (Rob Lowe), THE WEST WING

10) Christian Troy (Julian McMahon), NIP/TUCK

11) Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert), ROSEANNE

12) Spike (James Marsters), BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

13) David Addison (Bruce Willis), MOONLIGHTING

14) Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham), GILMORE GIRLS

15) Doug Ross (George Clooney), ER

16) Joy Turner (Jaime Pressly), MY NAME IS EARL

17) Hawkeye Pierce (Alan Alda), MASH

18) Angelus (David Boreanaz), ANGEL

19) Fox Mulder (David Duchovny, THE X-FILES

20) Perry Cox (John C. McGinley), SCRUBS

21) CJ Cregg (Allison Janney), THE WEST WING

22) Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), VERONICA MARS

23) Lorenzo Lamas (Reno Raines), RENEGADE

24) Karen Walker (Megan Mullally), WILL & GRACE

25) Billy Bob Davis (Billy Bob Thornton), HEARTS AFIRE

This was actually a really tough list because there are several shows that it’s nearly impossible to narrow down to single characters. Really, the casts of “My So-Called Life”, “The West Wing”, “Northern Exposure” and “Veronica Mars” are so uniformly excellent that I wanted to include every single person. But I persevered. It’s a tough job, but someone had to do it.

Hello 1990! How ya been?

You can always count on Urban Outfitters to bring back an unnecessary trend.