Book #10: The Stolen Bride

The sixth book in Brenda Joyce's de Warenne Dynasty, The Stolen Bride takes place in Ireland in the early part of the 19th century.

Eleanor de Warenne had a crush on her step-brother Sean, from the time their parents married when she was a very young child. Eleanor helped Sean rebuild his ancestral home, dresses in men's breeches to ride horses, and tells whichever brother is currently doing her a favor that he is her very favorite brother. After Sean leaves home and doesn't return for four years, Eleanor finally agrees to marry a very wealthy British lord, though she doesn't love him, because she's still got this kind of sick thing for her step-brother.

Sean O'Neil was always a good sport about tolerating Eleanor's spying, hero worship, and rescuing her when she got into trouble. In the four years he's been away, he married, lost his wife and step-son under very tragic circumstances (and of course he blames himself) and spent two years in isolation in a British prison. He's a very anguished criminal on the run. Sean shows up on the eve of Eleanor's wedding and all kinds of madness takes place. These two are some ridiculously tortured lovers.

As much as I enjoy these silly romance novels, I would never survive as a character. I'd be all "Sorry, I can't handle this star-crossed shit. I'm just gonna marry the rich guy." See? I wouldn't even have the vernacular down.

Girl Scout Cookie time! Nom nom nom!

It's that very special time of year, when we celebrate with family and are thankful for the blessings in our life. Cookie blessings. This year my sister is a Brownie Scout and I think I'll be ordering by the case.

Book #9: Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture

Okay, to tell the truth, I started this book last year and got about halfway through. Then I put it down for months (I'm slow with non-fiction) and didn't pick it back up until this week. So it feels a little dishonest to include it on this list, but I'm just so excited that I finished it and can take it off the nightstand stack.

Ariel Levy's Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture "is a bold, piercing examination of how twenty-first century American society perceives sex and women." (from the Amazon review)

You know who the female chauvinist pigs are. They're the ones who grew up wanting to be in Playboy, the ones who think it's empowering to flash the Girls Gone Wild cameras, and the ones who will make out with their girlfriends at bars because they know that it turns guys on. It's like they're a whole generation of women who's mamas didn't raise them right. The interviews with women in the book were really interesting because they all seemed to reveal that their sexuality was so much more about performance than pleasure. There were also some interesting ideas about how much women's sexuality and "hotness" prevail in our culture and media, yet by comparison, we tend to fetishize virginity.

I don't feel like I learned anything new from this book, but then I'm a daily Jezebel reader. So I know all about women and sex in culture and media. But I did think that the chapter when Ariel Levy travels around with the Girls Gone Wild production, was fascinating (oh, and also revolting), and worth buying the book for.

Book #8: Vamps in the City

Vamps in the City is the second novel in Kerrelyn Sparks' Love at Stake series which I gleefully began earlier this month.

Darcy Newhart has only been a vampire for four years, and she's not very good at it. She can't teleport, she refuses to use mind control, and she doesn't even like the taste of blood- without chocolate in it. Anxious to get back into her previous career of journalism, Darcy applies to work at the Digital Vampire Network. In order to get her foot in the door, she pitches an idea for a vampire reality show (I know, right?). It's pretty much a knockoff of "The Bachelorette", but instead of one bachelorette, the lucky winner gets a whole harem (it's a long story).

Austin Erickson is a CIA agent working undercover for a secret operation called Stake Out, who is assigned to infiltrate the reality show in order to investigate vampires, and kill them if necessary. Of course he immediately lusts after Darcy, and takes a ridiculously long time to figure out she's not human. And of course by then they're both in love and beating themselves up over how they can't be together.

Like the previous book in the series, this is fluffy candy. Or maybe like one of those reality shows that you're embarassed to admit that you watch ("Tool Academy" anyone?) but that you simply can't miss. It's crazy silly, but highly entertaining.

Book #7: Shakespeare's Counselor

The fifth novel in Charlaine Harris' Lily Bard Mysteries, Shakespeare's Counselor is also the last in the series. This was a somewhat difficult book to get through. Lily the heroine, joins a rape survivor's group. We've already learned about her attack previously in the series. Learning about the other members of her counseling group is equally hard. And then of course, one of the members of the group is murdered. So Lily and her new husband, private investigator Jack Leeds, are on the case- unofficially.

Lily is also training to be a private investigator. She spends some time undercover at a gym, and staking out a worker's comp claimant. About a third of the way through the story, we realize that Lily is pregnant, but that she doesn't realize it herself. In fact, she doesn't seem to have any clue at all, until she's in the midst of miscarrying. Afterwards, she's understandably weaker and more vulnerable than we've previously seen her.

I don't feel like the series ends on a completely satisfying note, but maybe that's because there's no big flourish. Lily and Jack will just go on living in their small town, private investigating, and apparently stumbling over bodies with disturbing frequency.

Book #6: Shakespeare's Trollop

Shakespeare's Trollop is the fourth book in Charlaine Harris' Lily Bard Mysteries. Her books are always a quick read, sometimes they're even over before I'm ready. Lily Bard survived a gang rape and now lifts weights and takes martial arts three times a week. She has turned herself into one ass-kicking house cleaner in the tiny town of Shakespeare Arkansas. Lily solves mysteries with the sometimes help of her private investigator boyfriend, Jack.

In this case, the murder victim was the Deedra, the local girl who's been around (she being the trollop in question). Being that Deedra was Lily's neighbor, and one of her customers, Lily feels invested in figuring out the killer's identity. She also happened to be the one that stumbled upon the body. That kind of thing seems to happen a lot in mysteries.

As a heroine, Lily is a little hard to embrace. For obvious reasons, she's not comfortable getting close to people, and she's discreet to the point of nearly being mute. However, she's very passionate about self defense, and she's a tidy soul. Okay, that might be an odd thing to care about, but it's actually one of my favorite things about all of Charlaine Harris' heroines. They all like to keep their homes spanking (or in Sookie's case, "spanky") clean. And being someone who also needs to have things in their proper place, I appreciate that aspect of their characters.

Book #5: The Masquerade

The Masquerade is the fifth book in Brenda Joyce's de Warrenne Dynasty series. Set in Ireland, in 1814, Elizabeth Fitzgerald is impoverished gentry who falls in love with the future Earl of Adare, Tyrell, when she's very young. Eventually Elizabeth comes to Tyrell's attention as a teenager at a masquerade ball. However, due to a ridiculous series of events, Elizabeth's skanky sister Anne, winds up pregnant with Tyrell's baby. Elizabeth helps her conceal the pregnancy, then instead of giving the baby up for adoption as planned, Elizabeth decides to keep the baby for herself (passing herself off as an unwed mother), thereby forever ruining her reputation. And because of that, she eventually ends up as Tyrell's mistress, while he's engaged to someone else.

As required for all romance novels, there are the requisite misunderstandings that lead the two main characters to spend pages and pages longer getting together than is really necessary. I think this is why I'm beginning to prefer mysteries. Please people, just talk to eachother and you could be together within 150 pages instead of 300 (or in this case, 560 pages).

Okay, but I liked it anyway and will be continuing on in the series.

Book #4: How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire

Can you believe it? How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire? That is seriously the title of the book! Based on my previous purchases, Amazon thinks I'm Vampire Girl, so it kept recommending this one to me every time I logged in. And upon actually taking a look at it, I realized the cover model is wearing my wedding dress. So obviously, it was meant to be.

This book is extremely silly, totally sappy, and faintly ridiculous. I could not put it down.

Shanna Whelan is in the witness protection program, hiding from the Russian mob, after seeing something she shouldn't have. Hey, it could happen to anyone. She's a dentist working the night shift at a 24 hour clinic. They don't get many customers, which is just as well, since she's afraid of blood anyway.

Shanna is a curvy size 12 (like my home girl Sookie Stackhouse- the literary one, not the HBO one). She has perpetually dyed hair, carries a Marilyn Monroe purse, orders pizza every night, and fantasizes about brownies. I kind of love her.

Roman Draganesti is a former monk, current millionaire scientist who's invented synthetic blood. Which is super handy, since he's a 500 year-old vampire who would prefer not to feed off humans. Roman is all tortured about his sins and his eternal damnation, which is apparently required for all male vampire leads. He also uses "God's blood!" as an expletive about eleventy times per page.

Of course they fall in love, but along the way, there are Scottish warriors in kilts, bombs going off, harems, creepy psychotic Russian vampires, a digital cable vampire TV station, teleporting, telepathic sex, a covert CIA team called Stake Out (get it?), a minor vampire war, chocolate flavored blood, and yes- brownies.

The best part? It's the first in a series! That's like crack to us borderline OCD types. You mean I get to read them in tidy sequential order with establishing storylines and character backgrounds? Can you guess what the series is called? Love at Stake! Of course it is.

Book #3: Dead Over Heels

Just finished the fifth book in the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries series. Dead Over Heels is also the last book in the series available in Kindle edition. (Amazon, get on that, would you?)

The story starts out with a dead man falling from an airplane and landing in heroine (and part time librarian) Aurora's front yard. The fact that the dead man was a cop, and one who was known to be openly hostile to Aurora, compounds the issue. Various odd occurrences throughout the story lead the reader to realize that someone is stalking Aurora and trying to win her affections in a seriously bizarre way. Aurora is a lot slower to come to this conclusion.

Again I find myself irritated by Aurora's relationship with her husband, and how little time they spend together, and how little they communicate. Sookie Stackhouse would never put up with that crap.

Wonder how I'm plowing through these books so fast. They're all around 240-300 pages, and I'm a bit of a speed reader. Also, my kid naps for 2-3 hours a day on the weekends, and is usually in bed by 7:30 at night. Oh, and my husband is pretty understanding about my penchant for burying my head in a story for hours at a time. I'm a lucky girl.

Book #2: The Julius House

Fourth book in Charlaine Harris' Aurora Teagarden Mysteries, The Julius House is fairly engrossing.

Heroine Aurora Teagarden settles into married life with her dashing older husband Martin. As a wedding gift, Martin buys Aurora the Julius House, site of a local family's mysterious disappearance. Aurora is of course unable to leave the mystery unsolved. She also spends some time wondering what secrets in her husband's past necessitate two on-site bodyguards. There's a lesson there kids: don't marry someone you barely know.

I enjoyed trying to unravel the mystery, but also spent a lot of time irritated at Aurora for being so clueless about the man she married.

Book #1: Three Bedrooms, One Corpse

Three Bedrooms, One Corpse is the third book in the Aurora Teagarden Mysteries by Charlaine Harris (known for the Southern Vampire Mysteries, basis for HBO's wickedly entertaining "True Blood", the Harper Connelly Mysteries, and Lily Bard Mysteries) . This is the fourth Charlaine Harris series I've read.

The heroine, Aurora Teagarden is a former librarian, who due to an unexpected inheritance, is now a lady of leisure. Score! Short, nearsighted, and heavily into true crime, she tends to stumble upon a lot of dead bodies. In this third novel, she begins an affair with the mysterious new older man in town, while also trying to figure out who keeps murdering local realtors.

I think this is Charlaine Harris' first mystery series, which would explain why Aurora Teagarden is the least clearly drawn of her heroines. Aside from her bookishness, lack of height, and fascination with murder, she doesn't have quite as much personality as her literary mystery solving sisters.

That aside, the books are entertaining, and I'll be devouring them as fast as my Kindle can download them.

100 Books for 2009... or something

I've been toying with the idea for a long time of trying to read 100 books in a year. Or at the very least, posting about the books I read just to see how many I generally read in a year. However, I've always hesitated because sometimes the books I read are embarrassing. You're saying "[gasp] You? No!" But for serious. It isn't just the vampire kick I've been on lately. (And believe me, I never had any intention of becoming that girl.) Sometimes... I read bodice rippers. Yep, heaving bosoms, tight breeches, with ridiculous titles like Her Forbidden Pirate or Love's Brazen Fire. I own books with Fabio on the cover. It's humiliating. But now that this is a known fact, let's get to it.

Stop Oprah, just stop.

I'm really tired of hearing about how Oprah weighs [gasp] 200 pounds and is so embarassed to have "fallen off the wagon".

Oprah could be an amazing voice for the Fat Acceptance movement as well as helping to push back at our current idiotic and unrealistic body ideals. Yet she chooses to whine about the horror of looking fat next to Cher. Can you imagine letting something like that bother you when you're as freaking successful as Oprah?

I think she looks fabulous. It's a shame she doesn't think so too.

Edited to add: Oddly enough, I hadn't read Shapely Prose when I posted this, but as usual, Kate Harding says it better.

"I just wish, for your sake as well as for the millions of women who look up to you, you could find a way to reframe your struggles with your weight, to practice and promote Health at Every Size, to believe that you are a beautiful woman — you so are! — who does not need to keep apologizing for what she eats or what dress size she wears. I wish you would choose to be the role model you’re perfectly suited to be, instead of trying to be one you’re not"

'Twilight' the movie. Part 2

"Attention, all 13-year-old female readers of this newspaper: Run, do not walk, to the nearest multiplex playing "Twilight," the screen version of Stephenie Meyer's best-selling potboiler about a principled vampire and the teenage girl who loves him. Others needn't run. Or walk."
-Wall Street Journal

Okay, so here's the thing.

This movie was made for people who read the books and became completely obsessed. If you’re not one of those people, this movie isn't really for you.

And of course, if you loved the books, you aren’t going to love this movie. But when is the movie ever as good as the book? And when we’re talking a 544 page novel, in which the main characters talk and talk, and then talk some more, in between rhapsodizing over how wonderful the other one is, the movie will lose something in translation.

I thought the casting was pretty good. The Edward and Bella characters especially worked really well for me. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are pretty much exactly as I pictured Bella and Edward. The sullen and reserved Kristen Stewart had no problem playing the sullen and reserved Bella Swan. And Robert Pattinson obviously benefitted from Stephenie Meyer letting him read the early chapters of Midnight Sun. It really seemed like he got Edward’s sense of humor. And let’s face it, the boy actually can smolder. The supporting casting wasn’t bad either. I was surprised by Taylor Lautner (Jacob). From earlier photos, he didn’t seem quite the right fit for Jacob (too short and too young). But with the appropriate wig, he worked out fine. However, considering the growth spurt Jacob is supposed to start experiencing, I’m not quite sure how the same actor would be able to play the hulking huge Jacob of New Moon.

The scenery was beautiful. The lush green and the constant overcast and wetness of the Pacific Northwest play an important role in setting the mood of the Twilight books, so that came across perfectly.

Now the bad. Half of the vampire makeup was ludicrous. Considering the Cullens are supposed to blend in with humans somewhat, the idea that anyone would be able to look at Carlisle under florescent lights without thinking “what is wrong with that dude?” pushes the limits. I was also highly distracted by the fact that Edward constantly wore more lipstick than Bella. And don’t even get me started on Jasper’s hair. How is that the hair of a Civil War solider?

And the special effects. To be fair, the vampire sparkle was going to be difficult to achieve under any circumstances, and this was a fairly low budget movie. But I think there could have been a better way to handle it that involved less soft focus. I thought they did a really good job with the vampire speed effects. Some reviewers complained that it’s cheap to go with a simple blur effect, but that’s exactly how their speed is referred to in the books, so that worked for me. However, they overused it and it became tiresome. In the meadow scene alone (badly handled all around) Edward blurs out of the frame about a dozen times. The climbing effect was a little too Spider-man for me, and of course not really true to the book, but you have to admit the view from the top of the trees was awesome. Though I spent the entire time thinking the Bella we know, would have fallen off the limb in a heartbeat.

The biggest problem I had was the screenplay. There’s of course no way to make a two hour movie about a 544 page book without losing some big chunks of the story, but I object to the chunks they chose. By cutting so much of Bella and Edward’s dialogue, we pretty much miss how they fell in love. The actors were left to convey everything with intense looks and nostril flaring, which just elicited giggles in theaters throughout the country. Relationships were forsaken (example: Alice and Bella’s blossoming friendship) and dialogue was rewritten when the original dialogue said it much better. Changing which characters spoke specific lines also seemed to serve no purpose and just ruined the original emotional impact. Oh! And what up with Bella wearing Converse to prom?

I could have done with less close-ups. We get it! They’re pretty, and intense.

In summary: silly, melodramatic, and cheesy. But so were the books. I was completely entertained.

'Twilight' the movie.

Hello sequel.

One and half days until "Twilight"!

The teenage girl inside me is totally hoarse from all the screaming.

The Times people, The New York freakin Times: The Vampire of the Mall

Apparently, girls all over the country are pretty much skipping school for the entire week. What with all the waiting all night in mall parking lot lines...

And if you're in the Austin area, Alamo Drafthouse still has tickets to Vampire Prom. Sadly, I have no prom date.

Arkansas and California

Rob and Nicole both posted about California and Arkansas choosing the day we elected America's first African-American president as the day that their states devolved and revoked basic human rights from their citizens.

California's Prop 8 passed and revoked the right for gays to marry. And in attempt to bar gays from adopting and with a total disregard for all of the children lingering in the foster care system, Arkanasas passed a ban to prohibit all unmarried cohabitating couples from fostering or adopting children.

Arkansas' ban reminded me of a story that's been in the news recently about a foster mother in Maryland. Renee D. Bowman was a foster mother to three young girls that she then adopted. On Sept. 27, her seven-year-old adopted daughter escaped from the house and begged assistance from a neighbor. When the police arrived, they found her to be suffering from extreme abuse and neglect and sought a search warrant for her adopted mother's house. In Renee Bowman's house, they found the murdered bodies of her other two adopted daughters in her freezer, where they'd been for at least seven months.

But at least Renee Bowman isn't gay.

Item for the Obama Administration

Fix FEMA please.

Thousands Of FEMA Trailers Sit Vacant

Tens of thousands of government-owned trailers are sitting empty and unused while many in our area need to a place to live because of the destruction caused by Hurricane Ike.

Billions of your tax dollars were used to buy these trailers. Yet, FEMA has denied requests to send the trailers to southeast Texas.

The storage yard in Purvis is not the only one. FEMA currently has 120,000 travel trailers sitting vacant and unused at 21 storage sites around the United States.

Hundreds of Gulf Coast residents who lived in the trailers following Katrina and Rita have filed lawsuits against FEMA. The lawsuits claim high levels of the preservative formaldehyde caused them to become sick.

The lawsuits and health concerns prompted FEMA to stop using the travel-trailers. That decision is costing taxpayers millions of dollars in storage fees. FEMA reports it spends roughly $115 million a year to store the unused trailers.

Oh! So this is what hope looks like.

abandoned

This may be the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Photos of ghost towns and abandoned cities from around the world.

It's here! Election '08

In Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, 100 percent of registered voters -- all 21 of them -- cast their ballots just after midnight in the first moments of Tuesday morning. For the first time in 40 years, the town voted Democratic in the presidential election, 15 to 6.

As Dixville Notch goes, so goes the nation?

Boo!

Happy Halloween!

Cindy McCain Will Break Your Fucking Neck

"So when you're in that election booth, ask yourself, do you want a president who believes in the strength of the American worker, or do you want me to rip off your limbs and use them to beat your skull to a bloody pile of skin and bone fragments? I think the choice is clear."


[via]

Don't you just want to eat him up?

"There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

Whether she flubbed the quote or not, can you believe Sarah Palin had the nerve to say that?

Can you believe that the woman who stood by while rape victims in her state were asked to pay for their own rape kits said that? The same woman who believes abortion should be illegal even in the cases of rape and incest?

I really can't wait to find out what more she's going to do to "help" her fellow women.

This is what 31 looks like.

Not Qutting My Day Job

I called four out of 13 categories. It's like I don't even own a television.

I'm completely baffled as to how Glenn Close beat out Holly Hunter for Best Actress in a Drama Series.

I've said it before, but seriously Emmys. You're dead to me.

2008 Emmy Picks

DRAMA

SERIES:
"Boston Legal (ABC)
"Damages" (FX)
"Dexter" (Showtime)
"House" (FOX)
"Lost" (ABC)
"Mad Men" (AMC)

ACTOR:
James Spader, "Boston Legal"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Gabriel Byrne, "In Treatment"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
Ted Danson, "Damages"
Zeljko Ivanek, "Damages"
Michael Emerson, "Lost"
John Slattery , "Mad Men"

ACTRESS:
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Glenn Close, "Damages"
Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
Holly Hunter, "Saving Grace"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Candice Bergen, "Boston Legal"
Rachel Griffiths, "Bothers & Sisters"
Chandra Wilson, "Grey's Anatomy"
Sandra Oh, "Grey's Anatomy"
Dianne Wiest, "In Treatment"

COMEDY

SERIES:
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" (HBO)
"Entourage" (HBO"
"The Office" (NBC)
"Two and a Half Men" (CBS)

ACTOR:
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"
Lee Pace, "Pushing Daisies"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men"

SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Rainn Wilson, "The Office"
John Cryer, "Two and a Half Men"

ACTRESS:
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who"?
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
Kristin Chenoweth, "Pushing Daisies"
Jean Smart, "Samantha Who?"
Amy Poehler, "Saturday Night Live"
Holland Taylor, "Two and Half Men"
Vanessa Williams, "Ugly Betty"

OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES:
"Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Real Time With Bill Maher" (HBO)
"Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
"The Colbert Report" (Comedy Central)
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)

REALITY

OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM:
"Antiques Roadshow" (PBS)
"Dirty Jobs" (Discovery)
"Extreme Makeover Home Edition" (ABC)
"Intervention" (A&E)
"Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" (Bravo)

OUTSTANDING REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
"American Idol" (FOX)
"Dancing With the Stars" (ABC)
"Project Runway" (Bravo)
"The Amazing Race" (CBS)
"Top Chef" (Bravo

Patriotism

I have a confession to make.

I am not always proud of my country.

When I think of the waste we produce, and how we deplete our natural resources and contribute towards global warming, I am not always proud. When our country stands by while atrocities are committed in the Congo and Darfur, I am not proud. It disappoints me that with our vast power and resources, we don't take more responsibility for protecting the least among us, in our own country, and the global community.

There has been a running theme at the Republican National Convention where the speakers all talk about how they've always been proud to be Americans, as if that makes them more patriotic. The definition of patriotism is love and devotion for one's country. Pride not required. I believe it's possible to love this country and all of the many things it offers, and to still feel that we can do a better job than we have done, of working towards a world where those advantages can be available to those who struggle.

From the earliest days of this country with the Salem witch trials, the forced relocation of the Native Americans, the practice of slavery, the war between the states, black listing during World War II, Japanese internment camps, the bombing of Hiroshima, the civil rights movement, the women's movement, the KKK, the Guatanamo Bay imprisonment of persons who have not been charged with a crime, provided legal representation or a trial by jury, and every war we're ever fought in where we sent our willing soldiers off to certain death- I have trouble believing that people who lived through any of those events, have always been proud of their country.

The Founding Fathers began the Constitution by saying:

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union..."

Don't you see? They knew this country wasn't perfect.

They knew this country was a work in progress.

I believe that it still is.

Sarah Palin: Book Banner?

From the Time magazine article, "Mayor Palin: A Rough Record":

[Former Wasilla mayor] Stein says that as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. “She asked the library how she could go about banning books,” he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. “The librarian was aghast.” The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn’t be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving “full support” to the mayor.

[via]

Midnight Sun

Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun, which is the first book in the Twilight series told from the male character's point of view, has been postponed indefinitely.

She's so devastated that the first 12 chapters of the rough draft were posted online illegally, that she can no longer find it in her heart to complete the novel.

Meanwhile, I'm so depressed by the fact that the rough draft ends right before the pivotal meadow scene, that I don't even want to talk about it.

Fall TV Premieres

It’s that time of year... So in case you call within the next month or two and want to know why I don’t answer the phone this is what I’m watching:

Sept 1 – "Gossip Girl" Love it! Soapy, trashy fun! Leighton Meester is brilliant. “Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here.” XOXO

Sept 1 – "One Tree Hill" More soapy, trashy fun. I’m addicted to this silly mess. I just can’t help myself. I am a 13 year-old at heart.

Sept 2 – "90210" I’m still on the fence. I watched the original, but never loved it. And I’m bummed Tori Spelling won’t be joining the cast.

Sept 3 – "Bones" This show is improving all the time, and it’s the only way to satisfy my embarrassing Boreanaz adoration.

Sept 7 – "True Blood" Vampires! HBO! Anna Paquin! What more do you need to know?

Sept 9 – "Fringe" Newest series from “Alias” and “Lost” creator JJ Abrams, so I’m all over it. Bonus? Pacey!

Sept 22 – "Heroes" Season 2 bit it, but part of that could be blamed on the writer’s strike. I have higher hopes for season 3.

Sep 25 – "My Name is Earl" They really lost me last season when Earl was in a coma. It just went on FOREVER, but I simply can’t wait to hear what awful thing they make Jaime Pressly say next.

Sept 25 – "The Office" Jan is pregnant! Jim almost proposed! Andy did propose! Angela made out with Dwight! Dude, this is better than "One Tree Hill".

Sept 29 – "Chuck" Another show that gets better all the time, plus Bruce Boxleitner has been cast as Captain Awesome’s dad! Oh, and Adam Baldwin = yum. It doesn’t get much better.

Oct 1 – "Pushing Daisies" There’s been a lot of talk about the network forcing the show to be less quirky, which would be a real blow. Since the damn show is supposed to be quirky. (12, count them, 12 Emmy nominations.) This is what I’ll be watching on my birthday.

Oct 6 – "Samantha Who" This show doesn’t get me that excited, but it’s mostly reliably funny.

Oct 9 – "Kath & Kim" The early reviews for this one are BAD, but Molly Shannon and Selma Blair sounds so promising.

Oct 30 – "30 Rock" Flerg.

Thanks McCain.

We couldn't do it without you.

If only as many people had watched the show, it might still be on.

Claim: Women are abandoning church in droves because of "Buffy"

A British study says that more than 50,000 women a year are abandoning churches thanks in part to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." "Because of its focus on female empowerment, young women are attracted by Wicca, popularized by the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer," says the study's author, socioloigist Kristin Aune of the University of Derby.

via TV Tattle

Twilight Movie Release Date Changed

O.M.G. Did you just hear me squealing like a little girl? That's because I finally got around to checking Stephenie Meyer's website only to find out that the Twilight movie release has been moved up! Instead of coming out December 12th as previously announced, it's now coming out on November 21st. (Thanks Warner Bros for delaying the release of Harry Potter, and unintentionally making room for Twilight.)

The only problem with this news is that November 21st is the day after Thanksgiving. When all little teenyboppers and their entire families have the day off and will therefore be crowded into the theaters. I was kind of looking forward to skipping work on December 12th and having the theater to myself.

Edited to add: Okay, so Nov. 21st is not the day after Thanksgiving. I hate those holidays that move around the calendar.

Best. Show. Ever. Remember?

Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas talk 'Veronica Mars' Movie

and then:

A ‘Veronica Mars’ Movie Is a Lousy Idea

Why must you hurt me New York Magazine?

Winners and Losers

So I'm a couple of weeks behind on this ridiculous Star magazine cover. But it's still boggling my mind how unbalanced their critique is. Mary Kate Olsen is a "winner" because she gained 15lbs but Heidi Klum is a "loser" because she lost 15lbs. Katie Holmes is a "loser" for dropping 16lbs, but Britney Spears is a "winner" for losing 13lbs.

But it seems pretty clear that for the ridiculously overly scrutinized bodies of female celebrities, there are no winners.

49 things

So I haven't had a chance yet to post on the yumminess that was Breaking Dawn. But until then, a meme. And no, I have no idea what happened to #15.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No, but I will eat blue cheese dressing with hot wings.

2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Not in a very long time. In fact, it kind of grosses me out now.

3. Do you own a gun? No, I don’t really care for guns. Though I have been eyeing a pink taser.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Vanilla! It’s better in the Dr. Pepper than the Coke.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Nah, what’s to be nervous about? They have the drugs!

6. Do you like hot-dogs? Yes. Preferably rolled in cornmeal and deep fried on a stick.

7. Favorite Christmas Song? “Hard Candy Christmas” (which is of course not technically a Christmas song) and Trisha Yearwood’s ultra Jesusy “It Wasn’t His Child”

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Dr. Pepper on weekdays and regular Dr. Pepper on weekends. I’m a complex individual.

9. Can you do push-ups? Ick. Why would I want to do that?

10. What’s your favorite meal? Beef stew and cornbread, or a box of macaroni and cheese.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I think I love my diamond stud earrings the best. Rob gave them to me the first Christmas we were living together.

12. Favorite hobby? Reading.

13. Do you work with people who idolize you? They must. How could they not? I mean, really.

14. Name a trait that you hate about yourself? Wow, that’s kind of hard. The traits that most people hate about me don’t really bother me. I hate my lethargy.

16. Middle name? Parker

17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment: wheat thins, cheese, stupid work

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: God, were you watching me or something? Hoodies, Borns, star hair clips.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, and Dr. Pepper, and Diet Dr. Pepper

20. Current worry right now? I’m supposed to be filling in for a co-worker this week and I’m starting to think that I should have figured out how to do her job before she left.

21. Current hate right now? New guy next to me is an aspiring club deejay and I have to hear his crap music coming out of his headphones all damn day. People who stay visiting so long at someone's cube that they hop up on the desk and make themselves comfortable.

22. Favorite place to be? On vacation.

23. How did you bring in New Years? At an Ugly Holiday Sweater Party, though I think we left before midnight cause we’re lame like that.

24. Favorite place to go? Alamo Drafthouse

25. Name three people who will complete this? There appear to be 50 questions, so that would be a big no one.

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Mine, of course.

27. What color shirt are you wearing? Orange with white embroidery. It’s supposed to be like hippie/Mexicali style, but I’m afraid that it just comes off looking matronly.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I can’t imagine why I would. 100% cotton only.

29. Can you whistle? Probably, though I can’t think of the last time I would have done so.

30. Favorite color(s)? Pink and red. Though not together of course.

31. Would you be a pirate? No. My mother made me be one for Halloween in fourth or fifth grade, so there is no need to repeat the experience.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t. I prefer a quiet, relaxing, yodel-free shower.

33. Favorite girl’s name? Since I’m saving it for my future daughter, why would I tell you and have you steal it from me?

34. Favorite boy’s name? Cooper, of course :-)

34. What’s in your pocket right now? One hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? I can’t even remember. This place is so not funny.

37. Bed sheets as a child? No recollection. But I’m sure they were cotton.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? It’s a tie between the time I broke my foot, and the time I was torn asunder while giving birth.

39. Do you love where you live? Most of the time. Although lately, the 400 degree days have been wearing me down.

40. How many tv’s are in your house? Most people who know me would be surprised to learn, there are only two.

41. Who is your loudest friend? Can’t say, she’ll get all offended. But trust me, she’s loud.

42. How many dogs do you have? None right now :-( Just Moe the cat.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I highly doubt it.

45. What is your favorite book? I could never pick just one. Loved Lonesome Dove, and The Stand, To Kill a Mockingbird, and all of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander books, and the Anne of Green Gables books. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m currently all about the Twilight series right now.

46. What is your favorite candy? Plain M&Ms.

47. What is your favorite sports team? What? Huh? Is Christian Laettner currently playing for a team?

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Beastie Boys “No Sleep Til Brooklyn”

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Enjoying my Tylenol PM induced dreams.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Ugh, damn it.

Breaking Dawn Countdown Ends

It's here! It's here! It's finally here!

I arrived at the Barnes & Noble at Lakeline Mall at 10pm, and two and half hours later, the prize was mine.

Normally I could read the entire book in a day or two, but... Saturday I need to do laundry, family celebration for Rob's birthday, and pack all three of us for vacation. Sunday, we need to wake up at 4am, to be at the airport for our 7am flight to Albany. We're spending the week at Lake Otsego in Cooperstown, New York with Rob's entire family (and I'm talking cousins from coast to coast and France). So it might be considered a bit rude and anti-social if I arrive in New York and lock myself in a room until I've assured myself (754 pages later) that Bella and Edward live happily ever after, and the Volturi get eaten by wolves.

So I'll be sneaking chapters in over the next week. Happy Breaking Dawn day!

1 day until Breaking Dawn

I glowered at the sky.

"I'll get you home." He brushed the tiny beads of water from my cheeks.

"Rain's not the problem," I grumbled. "It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous."

His eyes widened in alarm.

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof." I sighed. "I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."

He laughed at the expression on my face. "Highly dangerous," he agreed. He laughed again and then reached into the pocket of his jeans. "But at least there's no need for a side trip."

He once again slid my ring into place on the third finger of my left hand.

Where it would stay- conceivably for the rest of eternity.


Eclipse

Remembering the Knoxville Tragedy

kangarunitarian wrote a lovely and thoughtful post on a UU's reaction to the shooting at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville.

"I am a Unitarian Universalist.

We believe in freedom. We believe in personal, spiritual, and intellectual freedom. We believe that each person must be free to choose what is true and right in life. We believe in freedom for everyone, not just for people who think and act like us.

We believe that everyone is important and valuable. Old, young, male, female, transgendered, gay, straight, strong, weak, poor, rich, black, white, and purple; liberal, moderate, and conservative. Everyone. Even unemployed truck drivers with shotguns. Everyone."

I wholeheartedly agree.

Does 'Twilight' Suck the Brains Out of Teens?

Martha Brockenbrough of MSN Parent's Movie Guide and Lorie Ann Grover of readergirlz debate: Is the Twilight series a worthy obsession for our teen girls?

They both have excellent points, but I think they both underestimate the importance of - in this day and age - simply getting teenagers to read is a monumental accomplishment. Who cares what they're reading? At least it's not MySpace, PlayStation or iPhone texting related.

2 days until Breaking Dawn

"How are you going to do this right?"

I took a deep breath. "Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renee without the best resolution I can give them. I won't deny Alice her fun, if I'm having a wedding anyway. And I will tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I'm following all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You're not going to budge me on this."

"I'll bet I could," he murmured, his eyes burning again.

"But you wouldn't," I said, trying to keep my voice level. "Not knowing that this is what I really need."

"You don't fight fair," he accused.

I grinned at him. "Never said I did."


Eclipse

With my freeze ray, I will stop the world.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog appears to be back for free streaming on Hulu. Watch while you can!

You're welcome.

3 days until Breaking Dawn

He pulled back a few inches to look at me, and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve. They were black fire. They smoldered.

"Why?" he asked again, his voice low and rough. "I love you. I want you. Right now."

The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat. He took advantage of my speechlessness.

"Wait, wait," I tried to say around his lips.

"Not for me," he murmured in disagreement.

"Please?" I gasped.

He groaned, and pushed himself away from me, rolling onto his back again.

We both lay there for a minute, trying to slow our breathing.

"Tell me why not, Bella," he demanded. "This had better not be about me."

Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect.


Eclipse

4 days until Breaking Dawn

"It's beautiful. It's just right for him."

"But is it just right for you?" she insisted.

"Yes, I think is is, Alice. I think it's just what I need. I know you'll do a great job with this... if you can keep yourself in check."

She beamed.

"Can I see your dress?" I asked.

She blinked, her face blank.

"Didn't you order your bridesmaid dress at the same time? I wouldn't want my maid of honor to wear something off the rack." I pretended to wince in horror.

She threw her arms around my waist. "Thank you, Bella!"

"How could you not see that one coming?" I teased, kissing her spiky hair. "Some psychic you are!"


Eclipse

5 days until Breaking Dawn

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I said. "That wasn't fair to you."

He put his hands on either side of my face.

"Bella... are you sure?" Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain-" His voice broke on the last word.

But I had known worse pain.

I touched his lips. "Yes."

"I don't know..." His brow creased. "If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"

"Edward, I know who I can't live without."


Eclipse

6 days until Breaking Dawn

I turned to look at him without speaking. His eyes bugged wide, and he lurched to his feet.

"What happened? Is Jacob...?" he demanded.

I shook my head furiously, trying to find my voice. "He's fine, he's fine," I promised, my voice low and husky. And Jacob was fine, physically, which is all Charlie was worried about at the moment.

"But what happened?" He grabbed my shoulders, his eyes still anxious and wide. "What happened to you?"

I must look worse than I'd imagined.

"Nothing, Dad. I... just had to talk to Jacob about... some things that were hard. I'm fine."

The anxiety calmed, and was replaced by disapproval.

"Was this really the best time?" he asked.

"Probably not, Dad, but I didn't have any alternatives- it just got to the point where I had to choose... Sometimes, there isn't any way to compromise."


Eclipse

7 days until Breaking Dawn

Two futures, two soul mates... too much for any one person. And so unfair that I wouldn't be the only one to pay for it. Jacob's pain seemed too high a price. Cringing at the thought of that price, I wondered if I would have wavered, if I hadn't lost Edward once. If I didn't know what it was like to live without him. I wasn't sure. That knowledge was so deep a part of me, I couldn't imagine how I would feel without it.

"He's like a drug for you, Bella." His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. "I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."


Eclipse

8 days until Breaking Dawn

"You know that sotry in the Bible?" Jacob asked suddenly, still reading the blank ceiling. "The one with the king and the two women fighting over the baby?"

"Sure, King Solomon."

"That's right. King Solomon," he repeated. "And he said, cut the kid in half... but it was only a test. Just to see who would give up their share to protect it."

"Yeah, I remember."

He looked back at my face. "I'm not going to cut you in half anymore, Bella."


Eclipse

9 days until breaking Dawn

"Is it really better than if I was still in the dark?"

"Don't you think you ought to know how you feel- just so that it doesn't take you by surprise someday when it's too late and you're a married vampire?"

I shook my head. "No- I didn't mean better for me. I meant better for you. Does it make things better or worse for you, having me know that I'm in love with you? When it doesn't make a difference either way. Would it have been better, easier for you, if I never clued in?"

He took my question as seriously as I'd meant it, thinking carefully before he answered. "Yes, it's better to have you know," he finally decided. "If you hadn't figured it out... I'd have always wondered if your decision would have been different if you had. Now I know. I did everything I could." He dragged in an unsteady breath, and closed his eyes.


Eclipse

Dr. Horrible

I was seriously lax in my duties last week in raving about the incomparable Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog from Buffy/Angel/Firefly God, Joss Whedon.

A musical in three acts, starring Neil Patrick Harris, (Doogie can sing!) Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day, Dr. Horrible was made during the writer's strike and posted for free online viewing last week.

However, with the me being lax and all, it's actually too late to view it for free and it's currently only available for download on iTunes. But seriously? It's totally worth the $4 - $6 download fee.

I have already located Dr. Horrible goggles, but I will need assistance locating a dental tunic/lab coat, and knee high white boots. Halloween is only three months away you know.

10 days until Breaking Dawn

"Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that," he suggested, too calm for my liking.

"Why not?" I grumbled. There was no point in fighting if he was going to be rational; I dropped my arms.

"Firstly, because it is cold." He reached out to pull the sleeping bag off the floor; he wrapped it around me like a blanket.

"Wrong," I said. "First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."

He chuckled. "All right, I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly... well, you do actually stink, love."

He wrinkled his nose.

I sighed.

"Fourthly," he murmured, dropping his face so that he was whispering in my ear. "We will try, Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob Black."

I cringed, and buried my face against his shoulder.

"And fifthly..."

"This is a very long list," I muttered.


Eclipse

11 days until Breaking Dawn

Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye- because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had.


Eclipse

12 days until Breaking Dawn

"Do you want me to distract you?" He breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone.

I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.

"Maybe not right now," he answered himself, pulling his hand away.

"There are other ways to distract me."

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights," I suggested. "I'm curious."

He laughed. "Try to guess."

I shook my head. "There's too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."


Eclipse

13 days until Breaking Dawn

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do... You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

"Maybe... if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love... well, no, not even then."


Eclipse

14 days until Breaking Dawn

"Do you ever get tired of lying to yourself? You have to know how aware you are of me. Physically, I mean."

"How could anyone not be aware of you physically, Jacob?" I demanded. "You're an enormous monster who refuses to respect anyone else's personal space."


Eclipse

Emmy Nominations

It's official. Holly Hunter has been nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series for "Saving Grace". Everyone else? Might as well stay home.

15 days until Breaking Dawn

"Now let me treat your hand- you've gotten the cut dirty."

"Let me do it, please."

He took my hand and smiled as he examined it. "This doesn't bother me anymore."

I watched him carefully as he cleaned the gash, looking for some sign of distress. He continued to breathe evenly in and out, the same small smile on his lips.

"Why not?" I finally asked as he smoothed a bandage across my palm.

He shrugged. "I got over it."

"You... got over it? When? How?" I tried to remember the last time he'd held his breath around me. All I could think of was my wretched birthday party last September.

Edward pursed his lips, seeming to search for the words. "I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things."


Eclipse

16 days until Breaking Dawn

"Bella?" Alice asked in a sad voice, shifting over and curling against my side. Her voice sounded so miserable that I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in comfort.

"What's wrong Alice?"

"Don't you love me?" she asked in that same sad tone.

"Of course I do. You know that."

"Then why do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to get married without inviting me?"


Eclipse

17 days until Breaking Dawn

"Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."

"Oh, no," I gasped as he slid down onto one knee.

"Be nice," he muttered.

I took a deep breath.

"Isabella Swan?" He looked up at me through his impossibly long lashes, his golden eyes soft but, somehow, still scorching. "I promise to love you forever- every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

There were many things I wanted to say, some of them not nice at all, and others more digustingly gooey and romantic than he probably dreamed I was capable of. Rather than embarass myself with either, I whispered, "Yes."

"Thank you," he said simply. He took my left hand and kissed each of my fingertips before he kissed the ring that was now mine.


Eclipse

Have I mentioned lately...

that I have the cutest kid ever? For real.

Only if you hate the summer camp counselors of America...

Should Parents Take ADHD Kids Off Meds in Summer?

Although their intention may be to avoid sticking their child with a "problem" label at camp, the effect is often just the opposite; counselors and camp directors, who review all campers' health forms before a session begins, are more likely to misread a camper's disobedience as insubordination or a discipline issue if they don't understand the disorder behind it. Jeff Freedman, the director of Camp Winaukee, an all-boys' sports camp in New Hampshire, says that's the case for a handful of his campers each summer: a boy is having a hard time following directions, Freedman calls the parents, and the parents say they forgot to mention that the child is typically medicated for ADHD.

I've got news for you sneaky parents. We always knew exactly what you had done.

Many camp activities, such as water sports or archery, can be dangerous if kids aren't paying enough attention, says Walton. And a child with ADHD may have a harder time dealing with camp's intense social environment if he is taking a hiatus from his regular treatment. Beyond the effect on campers, Walton says drug holidays can also put an "unfair burden" on the counselors. "It's difficult to ask someone who's just meeting your child, just forming a relationship and trying to keep them safe and happy, to do that if the kid is not at his best."

For some ADHD kids, medications help with social interaction, allowing them to better read social cues and exercise self-control. Carrie Wilkerson says—with maternal adoration, of course—that when her son Mark is off his meds, "it makes him very, very annoying." He chatters uncontrollably and laughs nervously at inappropriate times, she says. And that kind of behavior probably wouldn't go over all that well at a campfire sing-a-longs.

so many things going on here

I still can't decide which I find most objectionable; the wig or the make-up. I really hope that the film's make-up person knows a little bit more about subtlety.

Okay, so I still squealed like a little fan-girl when I saw it. But December 12th?? That's like 151 days away! That's a whole nother countdown.






Edited to add: When did anyone stand around in the water? But I like this photo far better.

18 days until Breaking Dawn

I reached for the ring, but his long fingers beat me there. He took my left hand in his, and slid the ring into place on my third finger. He held my hand out, and we both examined the oval sparkling against my skin. It wasn't quite as awful as I'd feared, having it there.

"A perfect fit," he said indifferently. "That's nice- saves me a trip the jeweler's."

I could hear some strong emotion burning under his casual tone of voice, and I stared up at his face. It was there in his eyes, too, visible despite the careful nonchalance of his expression.

"You like that, don't you?" I asked suspiciously, fluttering my fingers and thinking that it was really too bad that I had not broken my left hand.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Sure," he said, still casual. "It looks very nice on you."

I stared into his eyes, trying to decipher the emotion that smoldered just under the surface. He gazed back, and the casual pretense suddenly slipped away. He was glowing- his angel's face brilliant with joy and victory. He was so glorious that it knocked me breathless.

Before I could catch that breath, he was kissing me, his lips exultant. I was lightheaded when he moved his mouth to whisper in my ear- but his breathing was just as ragged as mine.

"Yes, I like it. You have no idea."


Eclipse

19 days until Breaking Dawn

I shook my head, and laughed glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama- twirling my moustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

His eyes were wary as they flashed across my face, then he quickly ducked down to press his lips against my collarbone.

"That's it, isn't it?" The short laugh that escaped me was more shocked than amused. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the giggle that followed. The words were so... old-fashioned.

"No, silly girl," he muttered against my shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."


Eclipse

20 days until Breaking Dawn

"Lets, clarify your prerequisites first."

"You know what I want."

"Matrimony." I made it sound like a dirty word.

"Yes." He smiled a wide smile. "To start with."

The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. "There's more?"

"Well," he said, and his face was calculating. "If you're my wife, then what's mine is yours... like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else? While you're already being absurd?"

"I wouldn't mind some time."

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

He sighed longingly. "Just a year or two?"

I shook my head, my lips set in a stubborn frown. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars..."


Eclipse

21 days until Breaking Dawn

"A hand-me-down," he reminded me sternly. He pulled my left wrist away from my leg, and touched the silver bracelet for just a moment. Then he gave me my arm back.

I examined it cautiously. On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets, so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp, it sparkled. I inhaled in a low gasp.

"It was my mother's." He shrugged deprecatingly. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

I smiled ruefully at his assurance.

"But I thought it was a good representation," he continued. "It's hard and cold." He laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

"You forgot the most important similarity," I murmured. "It's beautiful."

"My heart is just as silent," he mused. "And it, too, is yours."


Eclipse

Avoid scurvy, drink a Slurpee!

It's that very special day that only comes once a year. July 11 = Free Slurpee Day!

22 days until Breaking Dawn

"Don't apologize," he said, smiling just a little. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need..." He shrugged. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way- like you have too choose me over your family."

"I know that. Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives you could live with, and I chose the one that I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Anytime," he answered, kissing my hair. "Anything."


Eclipse

23 days until Breaking Dawn

His eyes narrowed. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

"Easy." I shrugged. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."


Eclipse

Emergency Zombie Outbreak Kit

What Twitter would look like if we were under attack by Zombies.

24 days until Breaking Dawn

"One more thing," Edward said slowly. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," Jacob growled. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."

"She is mine." Edward's low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. "I didn't say I would fight fair."


Eclipse

25 days until Breaking Dawn

"I'm in love with you, Bella." Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. "Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don't feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn't want a miscommunication to stand in our way."


Eclipse

26 days until Breaking Dawn

"You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours..." He shook his head slowly. "For me to allow this- to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you- is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in- it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever."


Eclipse

27 days until Breaking Dawn

"It's late," he said again, murmuring, almost crooning now, his voice smoother than silk. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."


Eclipse

28 days until Breaking Dawn

"But I want you to know something- when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are... well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existance. I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too."


Eclipse

a confession

I'm known as a pretty organized person. Maybe even obsessively so. But this is the one area of my life that is never organized.

I'm somewhat of a compulsive shopper, and I have trouble getting rid of clothes. And shoes. And purses. I go through my closet several times a year, and every time we move, and I get rid of numerous bags of clothes. But my closet is still a floor to ceiling disaster area.

Whenever I "clean out" my closet, I try on everything, and if it fits and is in good condition, I keep it, and get rid of the rest. That sounds like a good plan, right? But the problem is, just because it fits, doesn't mean I've worn it in the last year. Or ever. The same goes for shoes and purses. Because really, you never know when you might need that reversible Esprit purse (purchased when I was in college) and those Steve Madden platform suede sandals (worn to my bachelorette party- eight years ago).

So this week I decided to tackle the task ruthlessly. I took the afternoon off from work, so there would be no toddler underfoot, and no husband pretending to watch said toddler while also playing the banjo.

I took EVERYTHING out of the closet, and tried to be brutally honest about what needed to be kept. There were far too many clothes that I'd been holding on to for years "just in case" I needed something to wear to a wedding, or a job interview, or a funeral. Or wherever it is vinyl pants get worn. Did you know I owned vinyl pants? I'm somebody's mother for God's sake. And I had far too many shoes that hardly ever get worn because, although they're super cute, they're viciously uncomfortable.

I also had numerous belts. Why? I don't think I've worn a belt since 1988 (and it would have been worn low on top of my over-sized shirt, not through my belt loops).

It was extremely painful getting rid of so many things that I hadn't worn much, or even at all. I do a lot of online shopping, and tend to keep things for the wrong reasons. Because it's such a pain to return items, I convince myself that I'll find a use for them at some point. So now I have to comfort myself with the thought that some lucky plus size girl shopping at Goodwill is going make out like a bandit.

After filling seven Hefty bags, I somehow still seem to have a lot of clothes, shoes and purses. But it's a much more organized selection (now with extra hangers). And now I have room for new stuff!

29 days until Breaking Dawn

"See," I explained. "I don't care who's a vampire and who's a werewolf. That's irrelevent. You are Jacob, and he is Edward, and I am Bella. And nothing else matters."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "But I am a werewolf," he said unwillingly. "And he is a vampire," he added with obvious revulsion.

"And I'm a Virgo!" I shouted exasperated.


Eclipse

30 days until Breaking Dawn

I looked up, intending to make a sarcastic remark, but his face was closer than I expected. His golden eyes were smoldering, just inches away, and his breath was cool against my open lips. I could taste his scent on my tongue.

I couldn't remember the witty response I'd been about to make. I couldn't remember my name.


Eclipse

31 days until Breaking Dawn

It was a face any male model in the world would trade his soul for. Of course, that might be exactly the asking price: one soul.

No. I didn't believe that. I felt guilty for even thinking it, and was glad- as I was often glad- that I was the one person whose thoughts were a mystery to Edward.

I reached for his hand, and sighed when his cold fingers found mine. His touch brought with it the strangest sense of relief- as if I'd been in pain and that pain had suddenly ceased.


Eclipse